Author Brian Aaby

A Lot of Hurt Going Around

Brian Aaby 1 Comment

Elisabeth and I were chatting online today (no, not in the same house, though we have done that before) and it seems like a lot of our friends and family are going through a season of suffering.  It is interesting, because simultaneously I see and hear of great things happening in the lives of our family and friends at the same time.  

Our friends, Dave and Deanne, are moving from CA to the NW to be chuch-plant missionaries (they are going to coach new pastors who are planting the much needed churches in the NW).  Friends, Byron and Shannon, just got married this last week.  We have other friends getting married soon, some having babies soon, and others starting a new venture.  I have family members who have just returned from missions; got accepted to a new exciting opportunity; and ones who just expanded their family.  Very cool stuff!

But the suffering in the lives of others we are close to still exists in big ways.  We have a friend who just lost a baby niece.  Another who had a grandmother just die.  I have a friend from a previous church who is struggling with her mom’s cancer.  Just today a good friend of ours let us know about a significant mass on his liver.  Just prior to that email, I received an instant message from a young man saying that his cousin had just died this morning.  Very tough stuff.

I do not know why the Lord works in His mysterious ways.  But I do know He has provided examples for us as to how we are to respond.  I am drawn to the ends of chapters one and two of Job.  I hope these passages can encourage you to stay strong in your sorrows and celebrate the gifts He continues to bestow upon us.

Job 1:20-22: At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship and said: “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised.” In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing.

Job 2:9-10 His wife said to him, “Are you still holding on to your integrity? Curse God and die!” He replied, “You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” In all this, Job did not sin in what he said.

I have a heavy heart for those suffering; however, I am choosing to praise God for the great things He is doing in the trials and in the triumphs.  They often go hand-in-hand.

Grace,
Brian

Balancing Act

Brian Aaby 1 Comment

One of my favorite park activities growing up was the teeter totter… I had friends that were bigger than me, and could keep me in the “up” position because of their weight.  And I had a brother who was smaller than me who I could cause to crash by jumping off (yes, I could be can be a punk at times).  The art of the teeter-totter is when you found the person who weighed the same and you could maintain that perfect balance.

It’s been awhile since I have written specifically about Youthmark.  I want to keep my blog balanced between family, spirituality, Youthmark and perhaps a little humor from time to time.  To be honest, I think my family, my faith and Youthmark will actually provide most of the humor! 

This last week was a mix of joy and struggle.  There were times I felt balanced, times I know I let the totter crash and other times I felt I was being lifted high (supported, yet vulnerable).  I was under the self-imposed gun of getting the things done for Youthmark that needed to get done before my Lifeboat trip; yet my week was also consumed with getting ready to preach at Boulevard Park (which was a lot of fun to do this morning, great to see so many loving faces).  I am beginning to understand that balance of the time it will take for certain aspects of my job.  However, I have little-clue right now what it is going to take to keep the balance of perspective and control.

I want to be a person who is seeking help where help is needed; but I also don’t want to be ruled by the help or opinion of others.  Balance is needed.

I am working on an informational brochure, so-to-speak, for the mission side of Youthmark.  To begin I have been writing copy (the written material) for the piece.  On top of that I am gathering ideas for the icons, logos, pictures, etc. As the project comes to the point where it is time to put ideas to action (as in produce the brochure) I find myself in need of help in some areas, but wanting/needing to keep things the way I originally intended as well.  How much control am I willing to yield?

I am young in the business side of things.  I am not skilled in many areas of the “industry” but I also want things done a certain way–with my heart, my passion and my vision.  The contrast is between being confident/driven and arrogant/domineering.  I want the first, and I abhor the second.  I want to be a learner who applies not a self-driven stubborn man who thinks he can do it on his own.

I am thankful for those the Lord has provided me as “help.”  Your influence, your expertise and your experience is invaluable to me.  I can’t wait to have your marks on these Youthmark projects.

However, I am also driven by my vision for things being done a certain way.  I pray I may find the balance. May I be a person who listens to critique, advice and encouragement.  And may I be a person who can apply those if applicable or graciously not apply those same critiques or advice if it stands in contrast to what my intention for any particular project is calling me to do.  I had much smarter/experienced people helping me this week–yet some of their advice/opinions clashed with each other or my ideas.  Fortunately for me, these friends are all humble people who love and support the Aabys and Youthmark.  I thank God for their help and encouragement; I am learning much from them.

Ahh, balance.  May I find that sweet spot in the middle.  May I trust all those that are on the other end of the totter.  May they trust me as well.  

I have to remember, as a child I liked the teeter totter.  Perhaps I can learn to like this adult teeter totter as well?

Grace,
Brian

Looking Forward… Discipleship

Brian Aaby 2 Comments

A week or two ago I started a new series on this blog (who am I kidding? everything I do right now on this blog is “new”).  I called it, “Looking Forward.”  This series will be a semi-regular post.  Today, I am using my Discipleship Relationships as the subject for this LF (and for fun I added some real and funny links).

In the next…

…hour I look forward to finishing the menu/grocery list and some final details for my upcoming trip with my Lifeboat (small group of guys I discipled for the last 4 years at BPPC).  

…day I am looking forward to shooting the guys an email reminding them of the money they owe me, the last minute details, the money they owe me, the packing list, and the money they owe me (I have paid for everything upfront, so, yeah, reimbursements are needed… ha).

…week I look forward to spending several days with these young men that mean a lot to me.  We are heading to Phoenix, AZ for a “last hoorah.”  Micah Egger and I have been co-leading this group for four years and for the last three we have talked, as a group, about doing something special at the end of their senior year.  The guys wanted guaranteed hot weather for a reasonable price.  So we’re renting a house, van and doing most of our meals at the house (to save money on going out).  Here is the itinerary for our trip:

Tuesday: Fly in, shop, pool time, “Lifeboat” time (we’re going to continue our study time, we finished Acts, but we’re going to do some review and concentrate on a few key things to launch into life).

Wednesday: AZ Diamondbacks game by day, pool time and Lifeboat

Thursday: EARLY wake up (5:00 AM), drive to the Grand Canyon (spend several hours there), then come down a back way to Sedona and Slide Rock.  Dinner out.

Friday: Relax day, pool, area mall, movies, some of our guys will have some friends visit (as will I, I used to pastor in Phoenix). Lifeboat at night.

Saturday: Some site-seeing and then the big thing on the agenda is a big “Last Supper” (Lifeboat) as a group.

Sunday: Church, lunch out and flight home.

Please pray the guys going:  Brian, Micah, Steve, Tim, Brandon, Alex, Ricky, Dylan, Frankie and John D. (and while you’re at it, pray for the few guys that couldn’t make it, we are sad: Nick, Josh, Jesse and John F.)

2008 Guys Lifeboat

2008 Guys Lifeboat

 

…month I am looking forward to renewing my one-on-one discipleship with Ricky Judd and seeing our guys get involved in their ministries at their churches and at their schools.  Several of the guys are staying local and will be involved at BPPC and other local churches.  So I will get to stay in close contact with them.

…year I am excited to see where God leads us (my family) in terms of a church.  I am most looking forward to getting involved with a small group of young men to disciple again.  My “C-Group” from First EPC and my “Lifeboat” at BPPC have been the highlights of my 16 year career as a Youth Pastor and I can’t wait to do a small group as a volunteer like all my wonderful lay staff members have done with me for years… these are the true heroes in youth ministry!

Father, I am so thankful for the years of youth ministry you have given me and specifically for the two small groups I have been privileged to lead, with the likes of Peter Beringer (FEPC) and Micah Egger (BPPC).  I pray you will continue to use me in shaping the lives of young men!

Grace,
Brian

Daddy Daughter(s) Date

Brian Aaby 1 Comment

 

I received an Instant Message from Brad Hostak at about 4:30 last night letting me know he had a few extra tickets the the Tacoma Rainiers game.  I quickly called Elisabeth to see if she was interested or if she would be interested in a quiet night at home (with Will) and I would take the girls on a Daddy-Daughter date to the game.  She chose option “B”. When she mentioned it to the girls they got quite excited (and started talking about Cotton Candy and all the other treats present at ballparks!).

When I arrived at home the girls had each packed a small backpack with their supplies (paper, books, crayons, and of course, a first aid kit). We drove to Tacoma, to be honest, I thought it would be a quick outing, maybe three-four innings and then boredom would win and we’d be back by 8:15-8:30 (about the time Audrey and Halle go to bed). This thought was only affirmed when I discovered shortly after leaving, but too-far to turn around, they had forgotten the aforementioned backpacks.  On the way to the game I let the girls know they would each get one treat (the started chanting “Cotton Candy”).  I then received a text from Brad (don’t tell the cops, I read it): “Free Hot Dog, Chips and Drink with your tickets.”  The girls could hardly contain themselves.

mmmm hot dogs and chips!

mmmm hot dogs and chips!

 

The girls wanted the food pretty quick… the problem, the “group express” (where you get your free food) was already out of hot dogs (and we would have to wait).  So, we went to the main concession, only to find out the conspiring dentists had gotten their wish and broken the Cotton Candy machine!  No Cotton Candy!?!  At this point I thought, “no dogs, no cotton candy… two innings max.” Dip-n-Dots to the rescue.  I believe the girls found their new best friend, this futuristic ice-cream treat did the trick and lasted two innings and bridged the gap to the now available warm semi-meat product (hot dogs)!  Not only did the girls enjoy the food, they actually were paying attention to the game and their special buddy “Rhubarb” (I guess the Mariner’s Moose offspring?).

Rhubarb, the Rainiers Mascott

Rhubarb, the Rainiers Mascott

Three innings turned into four, four turned into six, six turned into the full nine!  The girls didn’t want to leave.  They had a blast (and didn’t even break my bank, we stuck to the “one treat” rule).  I am so thankful for the time I get with my family.  I had a great time with my little girls!  

doesn't get much better than this!

doesn't get much better than this!we moved up for a "better view"

couldn't resist the backward cap pic!

couldn't resist the backward cap pic!

I love my Daddy-Daughter Dates!

Grace,

Brian

Non-Addictions and Needed Interruptions

Brian Aaby 3 Comments

I was reading a couple different blog posts last night, both blogs were dealing with perception; how others must view these particular bloggers.  Got me thinking… I don’t want to be driven by what people think of me, but from time to time I do want to change misperceptions.

Before you think this is going to be a deep and personal post.  It isn’t.  I just want to clear up a common misperception.  People think I am addicted to coffee.  And as I look back over my posts, and if I were an outsider looking at my life, I could see where people must think this!  After all, I am at a coffee shop EVERYDAY.  But here’s the scoop.  It is my office.  Cheap rent (typically $2 for an iced tea, plus free or cheap  refills, or $3-$4 for a latte).   So before you send me to CAFFEINE ANONYMOUS, know this, I probably drink way less coffee than you’d think, I probably get a coffee based drink twice a week and get tea the other two or three times.  

I’m “posted” at a new coffee shop (to me).  The Kona Kai Coffee shop in Kent (on 4th).  Great little place with a Hawaiian theme (and Kona coffee).    Was feeling the need for some change… a needed interruption from my normal Starbucks office places.  I am working on my sermon and some mission stuff.  I just got another needed interruption.  Jeramy Clark (best friend, besides Elisabeth of course) gave me a call and we were able to catch up for the last half hour.  I can remember a time when Jer and I would be able to talk for hours (because our schedules were so much more free).  But now, if we get a half hour every other week we both feel blessed.  So, Jeramy, thanks for that needed interruption of encouragement, laughter and prayer concerns.

If you’re feeling a little in a rut, a little too predictable or stuck in the same place, try something different today.  Call someone you haven’t talked to in awhile… perhaps you’ll get that needed interruption or you’ll be the needed interruption for another!

Grace,

Brian

The Best Mommy

Brian Aaby 5 Comments

A week or so ago our daughters did something sweet for their Mommy.  Halle and Audrey hosted “The Best Mommy Party.”  It was quite gracious of them.  I am privileged to have three great Mom’s in my life.  My own Mom is pretty special; my Mother-in-Law is pretty awesome as well.  I can make a case for both being “the best mommy” as well, but today I’ll focus my attention on the recipient of Halle and Audrey’s party.  

BMP sign #1

BMP sign #1

BMP Sign #2 "The Host's"

BMP Sign #2 "The Host's"

Elisabeth is “The Best Mommy” for many reasons and I know she isn’t seeking attention, but I’ll give it to her anyway. 

The last few weeks/months have been pretty crazy.  First, she gives birth to our very cute son, Will.  Shortly after this I make the move to Youthmark as my full-time venture.  Then I take off for six days on a baseball trip.  Upon my return, I begin working many hours on YM stuff.  At one point during this venture I take off for a couple days (short notice) to LA for some meetings. Then I have a wedding, a sermon and oh, a business I am organizing. Through all of this she maintained “Super Mom” (and Super-Wife) status in my mind.

She is an amazing woman of God.  She seeks to serve Him first and foremost. Her knowledge of Scripture and tenderness toward the Lord is not only a great example for our kids, but it is rubbing off on them and shaping their actions. “Jesus is the best in all the earth” was a recent song Audrey had made-up and was singing. Halle will often be found writing a beautiful second and/or third verse to a well known hymn or song. And just the other day I caught Will having some serious praise time.

Will in his "praise position!"

Will in his "praise position!"

Okay, so maybe I was helping him?  But nonetheless, Elisabeth’s servant’s heart and wonderful patience is an example to me.  I desire to “Daddy” as well as she is “Mommy-ing.”  She prays for, cares for and serves our family well.  I couldn’t have asked for a better partner in life.  Thank you Jesus.

But we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children. We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us. Surely you remember, brothers, our toil and hardship; we worked night and day in order not to be a burden to anyone while we preached the gospel of God to you. ~1 Thess. 2:7-9

Based on this passage, like Paul, Elisabeth is gentle, caring, loving, delightful, and giving.  She does work night and day, and in spite of any difficulty in our lives she seeks to do right by God and her family.  I am blessed to have “The Best Mommy” in my life!

Plus she’s so cute and funny!

Best Mommy and Best Wife recipient!

Best Mommy and Best Wife recipient!

My girls!

My girls!

Grace,

Brian

Back In The Saddle

Brian Aaby 1 Comment

 

Not this kind of saddle...

Not this kind of saddle...

I am sitting in my saddle at the Benson Starbucks (for those dying to know from yesterday).  I am beginning my sermon prep for preaching this Sunday at Boulevard Park.  This will be my first sermon since making Youthmark my full-time venture (though I did do a wedding on Saturday… that was certainly not a sermon).

I have the privilege of bringing a message from 1 John 3:11-21.  This is a fantastic passage, I’d really appreciate your prayers as I jump back into Pastor mode of preparing a message.  I did faithfully work ahead on some of my Youthmark items last week to make the time to do sermon prep this week.  However, one of my projects for Youthmark does require some extra attention.  Your prayers are greatly appreciated. Speaking of prayer…

Elisabeth and I have some big decisions to make in regard to our kitchen… we have been milking our old stove for all she is worth.  As of this morning we have use of one burner (the three other burners are not working, and the oven is now permanently locked because the door broke).  We need to replace the stove/range, and since we are making that change, do we go ahead and make the three or four other needed changes/updates to our kitchen?  Wisdom needed.  Thanks for your prayers.

Back to the saddle, resting in/on God’s Word! 

Grace,

Brian

The Office

Brian Aaby 1 Comment

I’m excited to go to “the office” each day.  Part of the reason I love my office has to do with me liking change. In my position my office can change each day.  One day it might be in Renton, the next in Kent and the following in Burien.  Today it is in Puyallup (South Hill to be exact).  

I came to South Hill (Cutters Point Coffee) to meet with Mike England.  He is the Youth Pastor at Graham Evangelical Covenant Church.  Mike was at Taproot Church in Normandy Park for the last couple years but has now moved to Graham and is doing a partnership with Youth For Christ.  He is most likely going to be a part of Youthmark’s Mission initiative this next summer.  We connected on this and a few other ministry happenings.  Quite the blessing to be partnered in ministry, even though the miles separate us.

I am now awaiting the arrival of Brad Hostak.  I have had the privilege of ministering with Brad over the last few years.  He interned for me, then moved to Oregon to intern for one of my good friends, Wes.  Brad has now been the Youth Pastor at a River Ridge Covenant Church in Lacey for about two years.  Brad was one of my original “clients” for Youthmark (the coaching/consulting side).  The last year has been a blast being able to help Brad in specific areas.  We’re going to connect one last time on the official side of coaching and help him prepare for the upcoming ministry year.

I am thankful for the mobility of my new job.  Who knows where tomorrow will take me.  Cutters Point has treated me well today, will it be Starbucks, Tully’s, Olympic or something else tomorrow?  We’ll see!

Brad has arrived, so gotta get back to this office work!

Grace,
Brian

 

Just caught Brad off guard!

Just caught Brad off guard!

R.I.P. Goldy

Brian Aaby 3 Comments

On May 15, 2008, Halle and I took an exciting trip to the Fairwood Pet Center.  Here, she picked out and purchased her very first (real) pet.  She chose “Goldy” the goldfish.  Besides Goldy, we picked out a fish bowl, food and a couple other needed supplies to support this little life.  Halle had saved up her birthday money (as well as her “first tooth loss” money) in order to purchase this great little fish.

On May 16, 2008, Goldy was proudly displayed at Sunshine Mountain Christian School (Kindergarten). Halle brought her new friend to “Pet Day.”  In fact, Goldy won first prize for Best Swimmer.  Halle received a keepsake award to remember the great prize!

For the last few months Halle (and quite often Daddy) fed her little fishy twice a day.  Twice a week we (okay, this was always Daddy) would change the water and clean the bowl/rocks.  The pet store employee said keeping clean water would give Goldy the best chance at a long life (even up to months or years).  

On July 26, 2008, Goldy was found “resting” at the bottom of her little bowl.  Elisabeth discovered the body and quickly came down to tell me.  We were entertaining Joe and Shelly Heider… Joe’s advice, “go get a new one before anyone notices.”  Deciding not to re-enact every sitcom I had seen growing up, we decided to go ahead and talk to Halle (who was in bed, but not yet asleep).

Elisabeth and I told Halle the news.  At first she didn’t know how to react, she made a joke about the music she was listening to.  We spoke of our options as to what to do with the little fish.  She eventually asked for us to come back in five minutes so she could decide what we should do with little Goldy.  

We waited the five minutes and returned to one of the most precious and heart-wrenching scenes of this little six-year-old life.  Halle was sitting on the end of her bed with the “Best Swimmer Award” in her hand. In the soft night light glow we saw her; she was softly crying as she read and re-read the words on the award.  We spent a few minutes talking and comforting one another.  She told us she had gone into the bathroom and had seen Goldy at the bottom of her bowl (we wondered if this was part of the reason she asked to be alone, so she could go look on her own).  This was all part of her healing process.  She even cracked a joke saying, “she looked funny, her belly just sticking straight up.”

Halle will experience joy and sorrow throughout her life, I am thankful for the way she handled this loss. I was blessed to see how tender her heart is.  We’ll miss you Goldy (but I’ll be honest, I won’t miss the cleaning of that bowl and the rocks… at least for a couple weeks before we probably get a new fish!).

Grace,
Brian