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WAIT: Celebrating Basketball

Brian Aaby 5 Comments

In honor of the NBA playoffs captivating all of us, I decided to run a fun “Hoops” version of a “What Am I Thinking” photo contest.

You give me your best quote and/or caption for this photo (submit it as comment) and I’ll narrow down those in the running for the crown. The winner gets him or herself a new Youthmark T-shirt.

Have some fun with this one.

Grace,
Brian

***************** In The Running ******************

“Life is short.
Lick sweaty armpits as you’ll never know when you’ll have the chance again.” ~Amanda Dugan

“Fragrant Foul.” ~The Wifey

“Old Spice. Taste like victory.” ~Jacob Peterson

************* The Winner ***************

No doubt our entries were down on this one because “Fragrant Foul” just had it wrapped up early. Good job “wifey.”

SMS: Parent-Youth Pastor Relationships

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One of the more common struggles I hear about among my Youth Pastorate friends has to do with the relationship between Parents and the Youth Pastor/Leader. Because this is the case, I will continue, from time-t0-time, to write about this subject in my Student Ministry Stuff (SMS) category.

More often than not the Youth Pastors who struggle the most are the younger Youth Pastors or those who have only been in the position at their current church for a short time.  In short, this simply has to do with trust being built. I understand this more and more as a parent of young children. For instance, at the beginning of the school year when I drop off my daughters at school there is a different feeling than there is in the late Spring. We’ve gotten to know the character qualities of the teachers, we’ve heard feedback from our daughters and we have had personal interaction with the teachers. Even if a particular teacher had the best reputation among parents who have had this teacher before, we still go in cautious, hoping our child will have a great relationship with the teacher (and vice-versa). So it is with Youth Leaders; parents are rightfully skeptical, because they are the primary shepherd.

As I begin a loose series on this Parent/Youth Pastor Relationship I’ll start with the things the Youth Pastor can/should do to help build that trust (regardless of the season).  Here are some quick tips.

  1. Direct and Consistent Communication. We often think “because I told the student, the parent probably heard.” Even as I write this, I snicker, as do you, we KNOW this is not the case. Rather than throwing the student under the bus for not communicating, you, Youth Leader, make sure the parent has access to you and you to them.  Facebook, Email, text and phone calls are needed. I suggest you prioritize at least a monthly newsletter, blog post or web entry on the church website that is not just posted, but sent directly in an email. Don’t just expect the parent to find the information, deliver it to them. Use this publication to give dates/rates and the state of the ministry.
  2. Intentional Impromptus: Going along with the last one, don’t expect parents to reach out to you; for the most part, they will be coming to you when they have an issue (“suggestion”) or need your advice as a “teen expert.” However, this should not be the only context for your relationship. You can be proactive with them in settings that will not take much of your time. Approach a parent in the parking lot when they drop-off or pick-up students. Grab a moment between services to compliment the parents on something specific you see in his or her child’s life. Shoot an encouraging Facebook message to a parent, just to lift them up. Seriously, 10-15 minutes a week (total) of going out of your way, will go a long way in these relationships.
  3. Always Respect and Speak Highly Of The Biblical Role of Parenting. Though not all of our students will have great parenting taking place in their lives, the Lord has given us a great handbook for parenting in the Scriptures. The parent-teen relationship is often a strenuous one, we, Youth Leaders, can/should do our best to respect the role of parents and build it up Biblically. Don’t just believe what students say about their parents (and also the reverse is true too), but speak about the Biblical role of parenting/shepherding.  Though students may not like the way they are being parented, we can help students understand the realities of parenting.*
  4. Involve and Invite Parents. The majority of my elite leader were parents of teens. The key here, they weren’t at youth group activities to parent-his/her-teen. They were at our activities to shepherd “our” teens. As a Youth Leader we can involve parents at a variety of levels. Sometimes we do just need chaperones, but more often than not we are looking for shepherds. Develop roles to get the right team together. Those you don’t want to invite to be on the staff can be involved in a variety of other ways (driver, host home, fundraising event, parent prayer support team, etc.). The more you have involved, the better relationship and support base you will develop. Trust will be built.
There are a number of specific things I’ll develop to post about later in this series. For now, let’s let these quick tips get us thinking!
What are you waiting for? Why not shoot off a few Facebook messages right now to get the ball rolling?
Grace,
Brian
*In light of the home life of our teen, please recognize and report incidents that you know are dangerous for teens. Use discernment and be sure you are cautious in how to handle situations in which you feel a student (or parent) is in danger.

SoCal SoGood!

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I returned early Sunday morning (in time to be with my fam at church) from San Diego; the first official “Together’ training weekend took place at Oakbridge Camp in Ramona. What a weekend it was!  I was really pumped going into it and am even more pumped coming out of it. Of all the retreats we’ve done, this has the most “Mission51” appeal and training. Students and staff, I believe, really come home inspired to reach their home area!

I’m humbled and inspired by what I read from Jeff Lowry (a Youth Pastor who attended the retreat; you can follow their youthmark blog here):

This past weekends Together Retreat was stinkin’ awesome.  From the very first worship set, to the closing prayer, it is evident that God’s hand was all over the weekend. 

We learned a lot this weekend, all of us, myself included.  It’s amazing to watch young people acting on their faith and sharing the G.O.S.P.E.L..  For some of my youth, I think it was their first time to do that.  Sure it was a controlled environment, and nobody was going to get chased down and beaten for sharing their faith, but the butterflies that go along with it were the same, myself included.  I’m a youth pastor right, I should be a natural at that.  For too long, I’ve done what Brian Aaby talked about, and encouraged kids to do it, but never jumped in myself.  Ahhhh, the sweet smell of conviction.

Now on to the coincidence part.  This Sunday at church, we were going to have our regular youth service, but I felt this check in my spirit to stay in the main service.  Would you believe God spoke to us about Love.  And loving the “unloveable” and reaching out to the lost.  Amazing.  I don’t believe in coincidences, just that God wanted to confirm in our hearts the work He started at Together.

I also added 2 more mission trippers this weekend!  Total team is up to 13 now!  I am totally stoked!

Thanks Jeff! You and your group were a pleasure to hang out with this weekend! I’m praying for you mission to AZ but am even more pumped about your mission NOW in San Diego!

As you pray for Jeff and the other teams, I’d invite you to also pray for a few MAJOR details that need to be worked out for our Colorado retreat in a couple weeks!

Grace,
Brian

Divine Appointments

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God’s timing is so wonderful. Check out what happened today after you read this brief intro…

Mission51: The 51 weeks beyond the mission.

For too long we have had the idea that mission is what takes place “over there.”

When the Lord commissioned the early-believers in Matthew 28:19-20 and in Acts 1:8 to share the message of salvation he quite emphatically included everywhere!  “As you are going, make disciples… You will be my messenger in your own neighborhood, neighboring communities, to different people groups nearby and even all around the world” (Brian paraphrases of those two passages).

Today I was at my local coffee shop preparing for our “Tour” with Youthmark, training students/staff for Mission51. As I finished a brief phone call the voice of woman asked me a mundane question about the hoodie I am wearing.

A simple question about my shirt led to an hour conversation about God, the Bible, Adam and Eve, the depravity of man, family, broken families, loneliness, the cross, redemption and Jesus being all He proclaimed to be. “Betty” is a very well-read 79 year-old woman. She has real needs and desires to know the truth and has real skepticism about “religion” because she has seen how it has been used to divide, hurt and even kill. She sees and knows the hypocrisy of religion and her mistrust in the “institution” was very evident.

During this hour conversation two different friends of mine came into Starbucks (at different times) and greeted me.  Both are Lead (Senior) Pastors in the area.  Each greeted us both very warmly and didn’t mention they were pastors, they just took interest in me and Betty. After introductions and small talk I did let Betty know that these men (both under 40) are local pastors. They both don’t have the “look” of being senior pastors and both simply joined the conversation with ease.  They partnered with me in sharing a bit of the Gospel (even if it was just listening well to her story). Betty told me, “I went to McDonalds this morning and took my food out to my car, I even had a coffee from there, but for whatever reason, I decided to come over to Starbucks and get another coffee, I just didn’t want to be alone in my car… I had no idea that a simple question about your shirt would lead to such a great conversation…”

As I was preparing to to prepare students and staff for Mission51, I was participating in my Mission51!

Pray for Betty, pray she comes to trust in Jesus as the way, the truth and truly her eternal hope for life!

Grace,

Brian

Specific Prayer Partners!

Brian Aaby 1 Comment

Hey Friends!

We have these really cool blogs going on over at youthmark.com.  Just yesterday I shot an email to all the participating youth groups for the 2011 YMV’s. In that email I stated that the biggest mistake that Youth Pastors admit to after a YMV experience is not soliciting prayer early enough or often enough! Even now, only about 1/3 of the teams are blogging, let’s pray them onto here!

I don’t want to make that same mistake of not soliciting prayer!

This blog post is a unique one, it is a call for prayer (right now) but beyond that a call for prayer-partnership for those who would like to carry us through any of the areas listed below. If you want to “partner” please comment on this post. I will then be able to email you anything specifically because email addresses can be seen by me for anyone who comments.

Here are the things I am looking for prayer partners:

  1. San Diego area Spring Retreat (April 15/16)
  2. Denver area Spring Retreat (April 29/30)
  3. Seattle area Spring Retreat #1 (May 6/7)
  4. Seattle area Spring Retreat #2 (May 13/14)
  5. Portland area Spring Retreat (May 20/21)
  6. Prayer partners for Joe Poppino (worship leader)
  7. Prayer partners for The Admission (the band launching out of these retreats and co-leading with Joe)
  8. Prayer partners for the 40 or so Youth Groups training through the spring for Mission51 (and a mission trip this summer)
  9. Prayer partners for me specifically and the teaching done at these retreats
  10. Prayer partner for my family specifically and the great times I have with them before and between each of the training times!

Would love to see all 10 of these areas “partnered” and perhaps even more than one parter on each!  Any takers?

Grace,
Brian

Join Us!

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The next couple days are going to be a lot of fun. On top of putting the finishing touches on our Spring Tour,  ‘Together,” I will be speaking at the NW Ministry Conference alongside some great people!

If you are in ministry in the Northwest, I hope you’ll join this VERY AFFORDABLE conference. In fact, if you’re in Youth Ministry, you really should consider the “Speaking To Teens” additional seminar put on by Doug Fields and Duffy Robbins.

I’m excited to have Greg Stier here this year for the NW Ministry Conference as well, but most excited to have Jeramy and Jerusha Clark up here this weekend as speakers as well. Jer and I have been best buds since college and I can’t wait to have this extended time with them (they’re crashing at our place).

Here is the info for the conference, are you coming?

I’d love prayer for Friday afternoon, I’ll be training Youth Leaders for “Mission51!” Hoping they catch the vision for the 51 weeks beyond a mission trip/camp/retreat!

A little surprise feature, I’ll be on the big-screen on Friday morning as well… stay tuned!

Grace,
Brian

 

A Different Northwest

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This last weekend was an absolute blessing! Thank you NorthWest Bible Church! As I mentioned yesterday in my blog, NWBC served as the test-market for our Spring Tour. Not only was it a lot of fun, it was a huge success from my perspective. There are several little tweaks we’ll make over the next couple weeks, but for the most part the “core” is all there. On top of all this, it was great weather! Sunny and 85, truly a different NW than what I am used to in the early spring.

When it was all said and done about 40 students and leaders were exposed to this year’s “Together” tour stuff. I am VERY excited about it and think that it is the best retreat materials we’ve put together yet. It is very different than the first couple years (I aim to have the retreat look/feel different each year, while keeping things consistent enough that participants at least feel some sense of routine). My favorite “moment” of this years retreat, thus far, is going to be the Saturday afternoon short-session. I believe it will be very effective for Mission51.

One very cool element that I’m stoked about is that along with some of our own stuff we’re using Dare-2-Share’s (D2S) “G.O.S.P.E.L.” acrostic as part of our training this year. Over the last few years I’ve formed a friendship with several of the folk at D2S. Much of Youthmark’s DNA and D2S’s DNA match. At the core, we both REALLY believe that we ought to be living and sharing the greatest news with everyone! However, many Christians don’t believe they can, or are trained enough to do so. I believe the best thing we can do is help students (and adults) discover that it isn’t that hard and there are ways to easily remember the key points we should share in order to tell the compete story! The G.O.S.P.E.L. is one of those tools that I believe hits that mark (you really should check out Propaganda’s music video that captures this so well here). Rather than re-inventing the wheel, I simply asked if we could use it and share the love! They very graciously said “of course!” So thank you Greg, Debbie, Jason and all others at D2S! Students walked away having being trained in a few tools to share Jesus with their lost friends on their own campus, at their clubs, in their community and even at their own church!

I return home a blessed man to have had another weekend with my Texas friends. I can’t wait to see them on their Idaho Mission, but I’m even more pumped to hear about their mission this spring in Spring!

Grace,
Brian

Consistency? Nah!

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The last few weeks have been swamped. No doubt about it. A number of times I have wanted to sit down to blog, but not once did the inspiration or amount of time needed to blog strike. For most of the nearly three years I have blogged I have been consistent; that all went away the last couple weeks. Well, I guess I did become consistent — consistently not posting!

I finally am making the time on my way home from Houston, via Denver from our “pseudo” First Spring Retreat. We didn’t market to Texas this year, therefore we weren’t offering a retreat in the area, however, our friends at NorthWest Bible Church of Spring, TX still wanted the Youthmark training for Mission51 and their trip so they volunteered be the “test” team. It was fantastic. I will be sure to post about it sometime this week!

On top of the craziness of preparing for the Youthmark “Together” Spring Tour, I have taken on a consulting role with an organization that has taken up some time as well. In time, I’ll be posting about this as well.

Then, factor in a couple weeks ago when I had the privilege of playing “Full-Time-Single-Parent” for serveral days, the busyness stacked up. I now know how Elisabeth feels when I am away for Youthmark and/or speaking opportunities. We had some airline miles available and decided it was a good time for Elisabeth to get away and have some down time with her parents. She enjoyed about 4 days down in SoCal and especially enjoyed the rest (sleeping in!). I’m glad she had this opportunity, she’s a great Mommy and Wife, I’m thankful she got to play the role of “full-time-for-a-few-days-daughter” in Southern California.

I’ll look to get back into the groove of some regular blogging; I think I once titled a post “consistency breeds consistency,” well, I’ll try to live by that when it comes to some blogging again!

Grace,

Brian

 

Wowzers!

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Much on my plate.

Shall return for a couple posts at some point this week.  But for today, please pray.

Off to Young Life where I have the honor of sharing the Great News of Jesus tonight!

Grace,
Brian

Mid-Week News and Notes

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Have a few posts permeating in my mind, but don’t quite have the time to get it fully done, so today I’ll hit ya up with a few bits and pieces from the last few days…

  • WordPress, which hosts this blog was down most of yesterday, or at least mine was down; first time since I started blogging that this has happened. Props to WP; they’ve been very reliable.
  • Got up at 3:50 AM yesterday (Tuesday) was out of my house at 4:20 AM and returned at 1:20 AM this morning. Drove to Albany Oregon to “booth” at the IFCA Regional event. Good connections with some Pastors. Crazy to do that all in one day, but couldn’t leave Monday because I was speaking at Young Life Monday night and needed to be back this morning for a few commitments.
  • Absolutely STOKED about our Spring Tour Together. I have loved all of our spring retreats and the training materials, but there’s something about the content/layout and format that just has me extra jazzed this year.
  • I don’t think that I ever blogged about this, but many of you know through Facebook and such that my oldest, Halle, had a fall in February. You can read the story on Elisabeth’s blog here.  Anyway, long story-short; hit her chin on a window sill, bit through her tongue (5 stitches on top, 2 beneath) and through her lip (3 stitches) and chipped a couple teeth. Those chips (which we couldn’t find) were eventually found embedded in her lip (X-ray)… so then oral surgery was required. Today the dentist fixed her teeth.  Okay… so here’s the whopper, the bills are just starting to come in and of course insurance will cover a lot (though we need to meet our deductible first), but get this, our estimate is that we’ll get billed for over 10k… that’s an expensive fall.
  • Was honored to preach last week at my home church, Faith. Summed up the themes from Malachi 1-2 thus far, while pointing toward our application of how we can/shoul love, honor and be influencers for the Lord. Check it out here if you want to podcast it.
  • Got to see my college roommate, Darryl, yesterday in Salem on my way back up. Such a great stop! Very encouraging.
  • Still 3-4 churches making final decisions on missions this summer; please pray that they register a team with Youthmark!  We want to see as many as possible trained for Mission51!
  • My NCAA bracket… mmm. Enough said.
  • Will is potty-trained (‘not at night, but by day! Woo hoo!)
  • Anyone know how to fix a TiVo? We can’t afford the $200+ they want to charge.

Grace,
Brian