Category Random/Rant

SMS: An Open Letter to Parents

Brian Aaby 1 Comment

Dear Student Ministry Parents,

Hi! Let me introduce myself, my name is Brian Aaby, I have been involved with Youth Ministry for about 20 years, 16 as a Youth Pastor and now I serve as the President of Student Ministry related organization (Youthmark). I want to write this letter to you, parents of students involved in Youth Ministries across the country, just to give you a quick heads-up.

A few weeks ago I walked in to a very familiar setting, the coffee shop that some of my best friends meet in each week. This group of friends represents 5-8 different churches each week (depending on who is able to attend). I love this youth ministry network, but on this particular day, I grieved for this group!  They had the look.

It was early June, too early for the look, but I saw it nonetheless.

Parents, you know the look, because you often have the look.  Metaphorically (or perhaps for real), your feet are sore from all the running around at your job. Your legs are cramping from lifting your own load and carrying the burdens of your family and friends. Your back is tight from the stress the economy has placed on your budget. Your brain feels fried from the bombardment of questions that need to be answered by anyone and everyone. Your hands are calloused due to the constant cleaning, straightening and fixing of everything in your house. And unfortunately, it’s not just your hands that feel calloused, but your heart too. Sometimes you feel unloved, under appreciated and certainly unnoticed.

Yeah, you know that look. Tired. Weary. Questioning.

Yet, like you, most of these youth pastors in my networks (and around the nation), will keep going, because it is their passion, their calling and their love: Your children! They do it not for the money (’cause rarely is there much), they do it not because they couldn’t make it in other careers (unfortunately, we have too many good Youth Pastors leaving because they no longer can afford to be in youth ministry) and they do it not because they NEED the affirmation (because, as mentioned above, it’s just not always there).  They do it because they love to see LIFE!

Youth Pastors (and I’ll expand it to Youth Leaders, many of whom are you–parents), live in the lifestyle of Youth Ministry because they love to see lives changed. They long to see Jesus change hearts. They live to see your students reach out to others with the gospel of Jesus. They pray, plan and produce, so that your children can learn, love and lead!

Parents, youth pastors need to do much more to include you, inform you and appreciate you, NO DOUBT. But as a former youth pastor, I so appreciated when parents went out of their way to draw me in. Youth ministry was such a balancing act, I wanted to pour into students, develop a volunteer team, look good in the eyes of the elders and THEN try to keep parents happy. It was an endless cycle and one that I had NO CLUE about when I was in my lower to mid 20’s (the age of most youth pastors).

That look in June is dangerous, because the summer season hadn’t even begun. Mission trips, camps (i.e. “time away from family”) VBS, fall planning, filling the pulpit for the vacationing senior pastor, weekly studies & programs and all the impromptu events haven’t even happened yet. It’s a look I expect to see in mid-August, not in June. But it is something YOU CAN HELP! You can help GIVE LIFE so that in turn, youth leaders can do the same. Here are a few quick suggestions:

  • Prayer partnership. How cool would it be to have a couple/family take a month to love on and pray for the Youth Pastor (or other pastors for that matter)? 12 couples committed to taking a month… wow! A weekly phone call, a text check-in and an occasional note just reminding them that you’re praying for him/her.
  • Be the last parent to leave. After the mission trip, retreat or camp, as the parking lot empties, the Youth Pastor always remains to pick up the leftover sleeping bag, suitcases and the lone-sock. Yep, there is always a single sock that somehow makes it way out into the parking lot.  What if you volunteered to stick around and clean out the van and let him/her get home to his/her family?
  • Date Night. We longed for this (still do). A night in which a trusted family volunteered to come to our house and watch our kids (even for an hour or two) so that we (as a couple) could reunite. The 10 days of the mission trip being away from my wife/kids was very hard, but then to try to re-engage in the midst of chaos at home made it feel like the 10 days extended to 30 (she needed a break, I wanted a break, etc.). Your willingness just to give these youth ministry couples even two hours will lead to a healthier marriage and ministry.
  • The Simple “Thank You.”  This is by far the least costly, but often the most-rewarding. A specific thank you from a  parent (and student) is often the Gatorade of the youth ministry marathon. It tastes great and refuels.
There are so many more that I can think of and plan to implement even now as a recipient of a great Children’s Ministry at our church. I want to be aware of the look in every ministry.
Parents, thank you for allowing youth leaders to have influence in the lives of your students. We count it an honor to impact lives  (and be impacted by you and your family as well) and the more healthy we are as youth ministers the better impact we can have. We know it goes both ways and we truly do desire to improve the relationship with parents!
My hope is that this open letter will lead to even one step toward unity in the body (1 Cor. 12). I long to see our youth pastor network feeling refreshed because of the refuge they have not just in each other, but in the parents in their ministries. My prayer is that even one parent will read this and respond with an action. I long to see that look even less! Love well. Others will know us by our love!
Grace,
Brian

Spiritual 100five50

Brian Aaby Leave a comment

I’m kicking it up a notch and adding the “Spiritual” side to the 100five50!

As you may have read over the weekend, I am kicking off a challenge tomorrow (Tuesday). This is the third year I’ve participated in an approximate 100 day exercise in which I implement some lifestyle changes that help my overall health (and body shape). Because of my own propensity to rebel or tweak the system I decided to create a system with tweaking allowed.  Therefore, the 100five50 has wiggle room all the way.

For the first couple years of doing this I’ve experienced some great success. The first year summer (Memorial Day to Labor Day) went really well, I felt great, lost a lot of weight (about 40 pounds) and really felt good about the disciplines in my life. Last summer, I struggled in the eating discipline side of things (I was bike riding so much that my appetite never seemed to be satisfied), but overall it went well.

Not that it needs to be more challenging, but I’m not one who normally separates the sacred and the secular; so I wanted to add a little element of spiritual discipline to my challenge. You may choose to ONLY do the spiritual challenge, or perhaps ONLY the physical challenge. Or you can join me for BOTH.

The Physical 100five50 is a challenge for 100 days (approximate days between Memorial Day and Labor Day). During those 100 days I will exercise about five days a week (roughly 30 minutes cardio, starting simple with walks and eventually moving toward biking, swimming, etc.) and attempt to eat 50% less carbs (instead of ever counting, I just cut in half each carb item I normally would eat; open face sandwich rather than full, 1/2 cup of rice instead of full cup, etc.).

The Spiritual 100five50 will last those same days. I am going to read through the entire Bible (using BibleGateway and their partnership with Biblein90Days) I plan to follow the plan they have with the slight modification that I’ll give myself 100 Days. In addition I plan to pray specifically at least five minutes each day for an non-Christian in my life. Last I plan on putting my money where my mouth (and prayer) is. Though it isn’t much, I will use the summer to plan a personal $50 personal outreach activity. I won’t define this one yet, but the goal would be to save change (coins) and by the end of the 100 days have at least $50 to spend on doing something with/for a non-Christian so that that person has a need met, a blessing of some sort or an event to go to with me (with the hope of building relationship so the Gospel is shared).

So there you have it. I’m praying this 100five50 be a summer-soul-shaping (and body shaping) challenge! A few have emailed, texted or messaged “I’m in” for the physical. But now I ask you about the spiritual?  If you’re in on either, please let me know. I’d love to know who else is doing the challenge(s)!

Grace,
Brian

P.S. I have a date-night tonight with Elisabeth where I plan to eat 50% MORE carbs than normal!

It’s Back! 100five50 Challenge… You in?

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Two summers ago I created my own “lifestyle health system.” I don’t like the word “diet” because it sounds too dramatic, drastic and like something that won’t last. Instead, this little system I created is more a discipline where light exercise and smarter eating are the key features.

On Tuesday, May 30, I will begin my third 100five50 Challenge. I want to know who else is interested (comment, text or email brian[at]youthmark[dot]com)?

Why 100five50?

  • 100: The approximate number of days between the day after Memorial Day and the day before Labor Day.
  • Five: The number of days per week I want to average getting 30 minutes of cardio exercise (start easy with walks).
  • Fifty: The percentage amount I cut my carbs for that time period.
Knowing that I am a “buck the trend” guy some of the time the third principle is the hardest one for me to uphold. Because I am not a calorie or carb counter, this is the one that is hardest to judge. The way that I go about doing this is to keep in mind what I normally would eat with carbs and cut that in half. So, if I normally have a full baked potato, I just do a half. Full bowl of cereal is now cut in half; a cup of rice become a 1/2 cup and yes, even my quick pantry peak that results in a handful of chips is now just a half-handful.

I loved this because I love carbs and I still get ’em!  At first you’ll still feel hungry, so be sure to add some fruit or nuts to help you feel a bit more full rather than loading up more carbs.  And the exercise side was VERY easy to establish. I started by just taking walks and listened to music, sermons or even walked and watched a movie on my iPod (more listened to it). Eventually I started light bike riding and by the end of the summer I was riding very aggressively and getting in full workouts! Start easy!

Two years I started at about 245 pounds and got well under 210. I remained there for a long time because it really was a lifestyle change. It slowly crept up to about 225, but the good news, I think there has just been once or twice I got back to 230 even though I have been COMPLETELY undisciplined the last few months (not watching carbs, not getting exercise).
I’m looking forward to the start on Tuesday, but wanted to give enough warning over the weekend so we all can enjoy the last couple days before kicking in. 

I’d love the accountability, no need to disclose weight or anything else, just let me know you’re in so we can pray for each other! However, I will name my goal: 205, but more importantly feeling very healthy/fit!

On Sunday or Monday I am going to introduce the 100five50 Spiritual challenge that goes with this! Stay tuned!

Grace,
Brian

A New Affiliation: Adelphia Bible School

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Statistics are what you want them to be. Perhaps you’ve heard 80% of 18 year olds who have grown up in the church will leave the faith within the first year after high school. Or maybe you’ve heard that the average Youth Pastor length of stay at a church is less than two years. We’ve all heard that 50% of marriages will end in divorce. For every stat, we can probably find a differing statistic  to prove the original stat to be “off.”

Regardless of the validity of the above numbers, I know that those numbers can’t be THAT off. The stats alarm me.

A couple months ago I was approached by a friend who talked to me about a new Bible School starting at the Lake Retreat Campus (Ravensdale, WA) in the fall of 2011.  Several conversations took place and they eventually asked me to serve as a consultant to the school as they get started. I am very excited about this partnership I have with Adelphia.

IN SHORT, WHAT IS ADELPHIA BIBLE SCHOOL?

  • Now, Not Just Later: It is a one-year Bible School for young-adults (primarily, though there is no high-end age limit). At the heart of ABS, is a desire for Mission51! The school hasn’t set out to be a place to get away to to gain a lot of knowledge for one year so that you have a foundation for life.  Though this will happen, the goal is to live it out NOW, not just later (Mission51)!
  • Community and COMMUNITY: Each weekday morning (M-F) for the 24-week experience (three, eight week terms) the students will learn from a new teacher each week (profs, docs and best-practice people from a variety of fields). This community will learn together each morning. Two evenings a week students will again gather for practical life skills discussions (finances, missional mindset, marriage & family, etc.) Then EACH afternoon the students are “off” so they can engage the COMMUNITY at large by intentionally engaging the 3 C’s!
  1. Campuses: Some students will work ahead on their college degree by taking classes in the afternoon at Green River, Highline, Bellevue, online or other. In addition to getting credits toward a degree, we will be sending out MISSIONARIES to these schools so that we’re not getting away from culture, rather, we are engaging it!
  2. Cities: Some students will be missionaries through off-campus jobs. The greater Four-Corners Region (Kent, Covington, Black Diamond and Maple Valley) is home to hundreds of small businesses and we want to see the ABS students taking on afternoon/evening/weekend jobs so they can intentionally be in the culture and sharing Christ through word and deed!
  3. Churches/Cohorts: Many students will choose to be part of a Cohort and serve through a local church. These Apprentice positions at churches will get students the exposure many need to decide whether or not a pursuit of vocational ministry is a fit. In addition, students will be intentionally trained by wonderful, proven leaders in their ministry field. Cohort Tracks are being explored for each of the following (and more): Youth Ministry, Children’s Ministry, Worship/Music Ministries, Missions & Church Planting and Career Work Force (a unique cohort geared for those who desire to work in a secular field but have long-term impact for Christ in that field).

I have been asked to serve not just as a teacher (Elisabeth and I are going to teach a week on Biblical Purity and Relationships) but also been asked to give voice to the establishment of the Cohorts! I think both student, teacher and churches are going to be so blessed through these Cohorts!

Besides the 22 weeks of teaching the Community at Adelphia will go through, the students will be challenged through the first term to discern which of the three offered two-week mission trips they feel led to participate in for their last two weeks of their Adelphia experience! Again, I am excited because Youthmark will be training the students for these missions!

There are so many other things I could mention about Adelphia (FREE iPad2 for every student, on-campus work-study jobs, lakefront property/views, Fireside Cafe, etc.) but this post is already getting too long!

Besides looking at the webpage (adelphiaschool.com) I invite you to contact me  (brian AT adelphiaschool DOT com) about the school. I’d be happy to talk to you, your students or even speak at your Youth Group or church about Adelphia (we are looking for great mentors for these Cohorts/Apprenticeship as well).

As Adelphia equips students who are engaging the culture, I do believe we’ll see many of those beginning “stats” change. Young Adults who are committed to the mission-at-large will stay engaged longer and stronger! I’m excited to be a part of this!

Grace,

Brian

Check out the promo video for Adelphia here.

Steering the Titanic!

Brian Aaby 1 Comment

Last week I was in “The O.C.” Orange County California is a fun place to visit and it was even more fun to be there as an invitee to the Youth Ministry Executive Council (YMEC). There were about 45 people gathered, the Presidents/Leaders in Student Ministries of the major church (denomination) and parachurch organizations.  I was honored to be representing Youthmark at this gathering.

I knew and had interacted with well over half the people before and was blessed to spend some quality time in conversation with many of these familiar faces. I also enjoyed the new relationships and hearing different perspectives and strategies from others in Youth Ministry.

YMEC was done differently this year; a change I couldn’t have been more pleased with. Through the use of “Open Space Technology” many conversations were birthed. Instead of inviting a speaker to “speak at” the participants, we the participants were invited to speak into a variety of subjects and then see what rose to the top in our conversations.

I was very excited to see personal evangelism surface as an area that we, national leaders, better be emphasizing. It was very interesting to me that in most conversations, including these at YMEC, most people are very quick to give a head-nod of agreement that we (church/parachurch) should be emphasizing evangelism, but when it comes down to it it isn’t much more than a verbal recognition. Well, I felt the tide began to turn at YMEC. The voices that were speaking seemed to give it a little momentum and I actually felt like the proverbial Titanic could get turned around before it strikes a rock and sinks.

My friend Greg Stier described the moment I believe this started to take place in a recent blog post of his (read that here). Friends of mine like Greg, Mark Moder, Bo Boshers, Chuck Klein and Mark Matlock seemed to keep the ball rolling for the last half hour of the conversation, so much so that I literally was getting a little teary eyed thinking that if (and please pray) we really want to get serious about seeing the church, parachurch and individual call to evangelism taken seriously then we had better seriously take His call to prayer seriously!

I am praying for these three things right now.

1. Praying that my personal prayer life would grow tenfold and that a major component of those prayers would be for other orgs and churches as well as the lost!

2. I’m praying for unity to continue among these denomination and organizational leaders (and am willing to play my part in keeping the conversation going).

3. Praying that we (adults, leaders, parents, pastors, elders, etc.) all would understand that if we want to see evangelize/make disciples then we had better model it ourselves.

I’m willing to risk and be obedient to the call. I hope you are too. Let’s change the course the Titanic is on!

Grace,
Brian

Specific Prayer Partners!

Brian Aaby 1 Comment

Hey Friends!

We have these really cool blogs going on over at youthmark.com.  Just yesterday I shot an email to all the participating youth groups for the 2011 YMV’s. In that email I stated that the biggest mistake that Youth Pastors admit to after a YMV experience is not soliciting prayer early enough or often enough! Even now, only about 1/3 of the teams are blogging, let’s pray them onto here!

I don’t want to make that same mistake of not soliciting prayer!

This blog post is a unique one, it is a call for prayer (right now) but beyond that a call for prayer-partnership for those who would like to carry us through any of the areas listed below. If you want to “partner” please comment on this post. I will then be able to email you anything specifically because email addresses can be seen by me for anyone who comments.

Here are the things I am looking for prayer partners:

  1. San Diego area Spring Retreat (April 15/16)
  2. Denver area Spring Retreat (April 29/30)
  3. Seattle area Spring Retreat #1 (May 6/7)
  4. Seattle area Spring Retreat #2 (May 13/14)
  5. Portland area Spring Retreat (May 20/21)
  6. Prayer partners for Joe Poppino (worship leader)
  7. Prayer partners for The Admission (the band launching out of these retreats and co-leading with Joe)
  8. Prayer partners for the 40 or so Youth Groups training through the spring for Mission51 (and a mission trip this summer)
  9. Prayer partners for me specifically and the teaching done at these retreats
  10. Prayer partner for my family specifically and the great times I have with them before and between each of the training times!

Would love to see all 10 of these areas “partnered” and perhaps even more than one parter on each!  Any takers?

Grace,
Brian

Consistency? Nah!

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The last few weeks have been swamped. No doubt about it. A number of times I have wanted to sit down to blog, but not once did the inspiration or amount of time needed to blog strike. For most of the nearly three years I have blogged I have been consistent; that all went away the last couple weeks. Well, I guess I did become consistent — consistently not posting!

I finally am making the time on my way home from Houston, via Denver from our “pseudo” First Spring Retreat. We didn’t market to Texas this year, therefore we weren’t offering a retreat in the area, however, our friends at NorthWest Bible Church of Spring, TX still wanted the Youthmark training for Mission51 and their trip so they volunteered be the “test” team. It was fantastic. I will be sure to post about it sometime this week!

On top of the craziness of preparing for the Youthmark “Together” Spring Tour, I have taken on a consulting role with an organization that has taken up some time as well. In time, I’ll be posting about this as well.

Then, factor in a couple weeks ago when I had the privilege of playing “Full-Time-Single-Parent” for serveral days, the busyness stacked up. I now know how Elisabeth feels when I am away for Youthmark and/or speaking opportunities. We had some airline miles available and decided it was a good time for Elisabeth to get away and have some down time with her parents. She enjoyed about 4 days down in SoCal and especially enjoyed the rest (sleeping in!). I’m glad she had this opportunity, she’s a great Mommy and Wife, I’m thankful she got to play the role of “full-time-for-a-few-days-daughter” in Southern California.

I’ll look to get back into the groove of some regular blogging; I think I once titled a post “consistency breeds consistency,” well, I’ll try to live by that when it comes to some blogging again!

Grace,

Brian

 

Wowzers!

Brian Aaby Leave a comment

Much on my plate.

Shall return for a couple posts at some point this week.  But for today, please pray.

Off to Young Life where I have the honor of sharing the Great News of Jesus tonight!

Grace,
Brian

Mid-Week News and Notes

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Have a few posts permeating in my mind, but don’t quite have the time to get it fully done, so today I’ll hit ya up with a few bits and pieces from the last few days…

  • WordPress, which hosts this blog was down most of yesterday, or at least mine was down; first time since I started blogging that this has happened. Props to WP; they’ve been very reliable.
  • Got up at 3:50 AM yesterday (Tuesday) was out of my house at 4:20 AM and returned at 1:20 AM this morning. Drove to Albany Oregon to “booth” at the IFCA Regional event. Good connections with some Pastors. Crazy to do that all in one day, but couldn’t leave Monday because I was speaking at Young Life Monday night and needed to be back this morning for a few commitments.
  • Absolutely STOKED about our Spring Tour Together. I have loved all of our spring retreats and the training materials, but there’s something about the content/layout and format that just has me extra jazzed this year.
  • I don’t think that I ever blogged about this, but many of you know through Facebook and such that my oldest, Halle, had a fall in February. You can read the story on Elisabeth’s blog here.  Anyway, long story-short; hit her chin on a window sill, bit through her tongue (5 stitches on top, 2 beneath) and through her lip (3 stitches) and chipped a couple teeth. Those chips (which we couldn’t find) were eventually found embedded in her lip (X-ray)… so then oral surgery was required. Today the dentist fixed her teeth.  Okay… so here’s the whopper, the bills are just starting to come in and of course insurance will cover a lot (though we need to meet our deductible first), but get this, our estimate is that we’ll get billed for over 10k… that’s an expensive fall.
  • Was honored to preach last week at my home church, Faith. Summed up the themes from Malachi 1-2 thus far, while pointing toward our application of how we can/shoul love, honor and be influencers for the Lord. Check it out here if you want to podcast it.
  • Got to see my college roommate, Darryl, yesterday in Salem on my way back up. Such a great stop! Very encouraging.
  • Still 3-4 churches making final decisions on missions this summer; please pray that they register a team with Youthmark!  We want to see as many as possible trained for Mission51!
  • My NCAA bracket… mmm. Enough said.
  • Will is potty-trained (‘not at night, but by day! Woo hoo!)
  • Anyone know how to fix a TiVo? We can’t afford the $200+ they want to charge.

Grace,
Brian

Feeling Friendly: IGNITION

Brian Aaby 1 Comment

A couple weeks ago the men at my church had a “Hockey Night.” Seattle has its own Minor League team, the Seattle Thunderbirds. Blessed by a friend who hooked me up with a ticket I made the five mile trek to the arena in Kent. It was a blast to cheer on the T-birds with about 80 guys from church and about 5000 from the greater Seattle community.

A couple things stood out to me about the game itself:

  • 5000+ were screaming to our hearts delight for high schoolers. The average age of the players is probably 17.
  • These same fans cheered even louder when these same 17 years olds stopped skating and started fighting.

Yep, there we were, rising up to cheer on a fist fight between two not-even young adults. Only in hockey!

What if we cheered on high school students who were fighting for a different cause?  What if we were celebrating the fight it is to be a young man or woman of God in todays society? Well, we have that opportunity.

My “Feeling Friendly” this weekend is for the IGNITION conference taking place March 25-16 at Faith Church in Kent, WA. Described as “Serious Fun” this conference is really unlike others. The subject matter for this conference is “The Bible.” The purpose of the conference is to equip students who already know and love Jesus with the tools and information they can use to dig even deeper in the Scriptures and Application. The “fun” will show up in the events they have planned, the times with friends, meals and the exciting worship (think concert-like setting). The “serious” will show up in the content; creating an atmosphere where real questions are not just asked but honestly addressed (elective classes, main session speaker, etc.). I think it is going to be quite exciting to see a couple hundred teens praising God in song and digging deep in His Word!

I’m excited to be a part of it, speaking in the electives, but also representing Youthmark.

If you are a Youth Pastor, Youth Leader, Parent of a teen or a Student, IGNITION is something you ought to “seriously” look into! Check out the Facebook page here or the website here.

I’ll stand up and cheer for this fight!

Grace,

Brian