Category Student Ministry Stuff (SMS)

5 Christmas Party Ideas

Brian Aaby Leave a comment

As some of you may know, I have been writing for the Dare 2 Share blog as well, it’s been a lot of fun coming up with posts that specifically have to do with evangelism!

The latest post, Christmas Party Ideas, went live yesterday. I recruited the help of my good friend Mark Knight and captured him on video sharing a couple ideas.

Here’s this list of five, but you need to go to the D2S blog to read the descriptions (how’s that for a teaser?).

  1. Ugly Sweater
  2. White Elephant
  3. The Christmas Formal
  4. Two-Minute Movie
  5. Night Light Blessing

Grace,
Brian

 

The Posts With the Most

Brian Aaby Leave a comment

Every now and then over the weekend I find that I have time to go through and read some past posts from bloggers that I try to keep up with… In the off-chance that that’s what you’re doing right now, I thought I’d make it easy for you… I give a brief “subject” and then the following links take you directly to a few of the blogs that I have written that have gotten the most action of late for both this site and for the Dare 2 Share blog that I contribute to.

An Open Letter to A Departing Youth Pastor… this post has been the most read blog of any post I’ve ever written. It deals with leaving a church (or any job) well. This one was Retweeted and picked up by a few other organizations.

Holiday Red Cups… this is a post I wrote for Dare 2 Share in my “Dear Aaby” series. It is advice on how to turn a conversation into a possible opportunity to share Jesus with those who do not know Him.

What Is Your Mission… Trip?… this post encourages those in youth ministry to use your mission trip for more than just a one-week experience.

3 Areas of Neglect In Your Ministry… I’m excited by the way this post seemed to encourage many veteran youth workers to take a look at where they are spending their time and placing their efforts.

5 Youth Pastor “What Ifs”… This one was a highly read and re-tweeted  post from a few weeks ago. It deals with five questions I wonder about and if only I had done some things differently “back then.”

Any one of these a particular challenge and/or blessing? Any post you’ve read in the last few weeks from another blog you think I should be sure to read?

Happy weekend. Happy reading!

Grace,
Brian

What You May Be Neglecting In Your Ministry

Brian Aaby Leave a comment

If you were to identify two or three areas of neglect in your youth ministry what would they be right now?

Seriously, if you are involved with student ministry you ought to be asking yourself this question and rectifying the neglect.

I recently revisited a blog I wrote a couple years ago and tweaked it a bit for the Dare2Share blog. That blog went live on the site yesterday here.

In short, I make the case that I see three things that many ministries are neglecting.

1. The Campus

2. Evangelism

3. The Gospel

Some may argue that this trifecta ought to be three of the pillars of a youth ministry, yet they’re getting neglected.

But no worries, I am not one to just name the problem and hope that it goes away, check out the post, I give three suggestions for the road to redemption!

Check it out and give some feedback (here or there)!

Grace,
Brian

What Is Your Mission…Trip?

Brian Aaby 1 Comment

Are most mission trips actual mission trips or are they service trips, road trips or simply tourism-plus trips?

Is it word-confusion? Maybe it’s just a matter of semantics?

Perhaps it’s a “po-tay-toe or po-tah-toe” deal?


Mission is certainly not a faith-specific word, however, I do believe the original mission  Jesus called the first-century believers to was certainly a mission of faith-making!

Plain and simple: I believe that a mission trip should, primarily, be for the purpose of disciple-making.

Before I am dismissed as a Bible-thumping, evangelism-freak, please understand that I firmly believe that we must show the character qualities of Jesus as we share the words of Jesus (especially as they relate to eternal life). A mission trip should have the end-game or ultimate goal of more people trusting Jesus for salvation.

This does not mean that every trip will be evangelistic in nature, however, I do believe a bridge to the great commission should be able to be made, explained and trained! Unfortunately, I get the sense that very few mission trip participants are making the connection (to the eternal) or receiving training.

Youthmark distributed Pray21 books to all participants at the National Youth Workers Convention (NYWC) and did a giveaway of an iPad mini at the Verge booth. In the few  hours I spent at Verge I asked any/all who came by to register for the iPad a few missions oriented questions. Youth Leaders were very quick to give the answer to the “where do you go?” and “what they did” but only a couple were able to answer “how did you prepare the students?” I see this as a missed opportunity!

Service based Mission Trips are not my enemy, I’ve done them, enjoyed them and have seen great outcomes. But I believe they become truly missional when we make the tie to the evangelism/discipleship that will take place because of our service. For instance, we took a week to prepare a camp (physically) for a summer of hosting camps. We painted cabins, deep cleaned bathrooms, raked grass clippings and prayed over nearly every foot of the camp knowing that we were preparing the harvest field. In our prep and debrief of the daily duties we were able to motivate our group because of the hope of the eternal life-change that would take place on those grounds. Our service-sacrifice freed up others for the relational-investment they would make in the lives of students all summer. Even though we knew we were not likely going to have evangelism opportunities, we trained students in evangelism so they could relate to and pray for those who would have the opportunity at that camp. But our evangelism training leading into the trip had much more to do with Mission51- the 51 weeks of life outside the one-week trip! Our primary mission is not the trip, it’s our own campus, club, community and church!

Where is your mission… trip? Are you failing to connect the social justice acts you do with the eternal justification Jesus makes available for us?

Continue to do great things for Jesus, but make the connection to (and tell of) the great things He said as well! As recipients of His great grace, let’s look to share that message with all!

Grace,

Brian

P.S. In perusing the mission trips available at NYWC I was pleasantly surprised that a few were focused on more that just the trip and had a strong evangelism connection. I’d invite you to check out Verge and Youth Missions International as two of my favorites!

Five Youth Pastor What Ifs

Brian Aaby 1 Comment

I was a youth pastor for 16 years and for the past four years I’ve continued to work with hundreds of youth pastors through Youthmark and networking. All told, I’m two decades into this youth ministry adventure. My outlook on the student ministry culture certainly took on different perspectives during these years. From the rookie years to the “seasoned veteran” years (which, in youth ministry, takes place around your late 20’s), I have consistently looked back and wondered, “what if?”

I thought I’d jot a few of these “what ifs” down, perhaps just to encourage others. Maybe I’ll come back to some more “what ifs” later, but here are five that stand out to me right now.

1. What if I would have set a better example of peer-to-peer evangelism instead of using pastor-to-youth as my evangelism excuse? [I likely would have discovered that students have the same insecurities and fears I had and I would have begun engaging in and then training others for real-life, relational (with words) evangelism earlier].

2. What if I would have known at an earlier stage that “youth ministry” is actually student, parent, family, peer and church ministry? [I certainly would have had better volunteerism, more parent support and I likely would have felt more respected by the adults in the church rather than alienating others with the “I must prove myself to them” attitude I think I adopted].

3. What if I would have known that putting in more hours, working more days and trying to please as many as possible would NOT impress anyone other than myself? [I would have likely had a better relationship with those in authority over me instead of secretly wishing that they all would notice the hours, days and efforts so that I’d get a raise].

4. What if I would have fallen in love with coffee earlier in my youth pastorate? [I’d likely be dead from caffeine overdose… or more people would know Jesus, as the coffee shop has become one of my primary evangelism outlets]

5. What if I recruited adults to pray with our students instead of just praying for our students? [Disclaimer: I had many adults involved with our teens… but not nearly enough! This honestly is my #1 “what if?” And here is my answer: I believe that we’d see the national statistics of up to 85% of students leaving the church flipped. I believe that we’d see students and adults begin to understand the truth of 1 Corinthians 12–we are one body, many parts and all the parts are needed and I believe we’d see MANY more adults not intimidated by the teen population and vice-versa. I believe that our Sunday morning experience would look and feel way more familial and way more welcoming!]

Honestly, most of this ties into that last one. I wish I would have had someone investing in me at a deeper level. What if someone was praying with me and not just for me? I wish something like Pray21 would have been around 15, even 10 years ago. At the risk of touting product over blog content, I want to urge folks to check this thing out. Team students up with caring adults (even get the mentor for pay the $10 or so for both books) and get this praying with youth thing started!

What if?

Grace,
Brian

An Open Letter to the Departing Youth Pastor

Brian Aaby 18 Comments

[Note: It is important for the readers to know that this “open letter” is not to anyone specific. I do not know of someone preparing to leave or in the middle of this difficult process. I simply am speaking from 20 years of experience (and even my own success and/or failure in this area) and from the number of opportunities God has now given me to consult with churches who are in transition between youth pastors.] 

Departing Youth Pastor,

When you decide to leave, please do us a favor and leave well.

I totally understand that you’re leaving for any one (or combination) of a myriad of reasons. But whether you’re leaving for something bigger or better, or leaving because you’re bitter, please be aware of the wake of your departure and the damage it may cause.

Yes, I completely understand the temptation to justify your position as to why you are leaving or why you were asked to leave, but please do everyone a favor and protect the bride (the church)–even if this specific church or a few select people did some things or will do some things wrong. I get it, you want others to feel what you have felt, you want all to know how hard it was to make this decision (or to have had it made for you) and you desperately want to hear, “It just won’t be the same without you.” But I simply want to encourage you to do the hard thing and take the high road. It is the better way and you will not regret it.

Whether you’re leaving by choice or have been asked to leave, others in your care will ask “Why?” Of course, you or others have many reasons why this move is taking place. But just because there are many reasons doesn’t mean that everyone is entitled to know them. You (and others) can protect that information. Most of us are on a “need to know” basis and we don’t need to know.

Any departure is tough, you likely love the masses, and probably dislike a few. Those few may be under your skin. Don’t let that outnumbered bunch mute the amazing chorus of your many friends, and the celebration of many victories God granted in your ministry. You loved the ministry, the students, your teammates and the families. Continue to love these people well by leaving well; bless them with words of encouragement rather than looking to fuel your pride. Flee the youthful lust of self-satisfaction. It’s too easy to let Satan kill, steal and destroy the precious memories made and victories won.

Your flesh will literally want to hear things like:

“You left some big shoes to fill”

“What will I do without you?”

and the worst one, “I heard they are leaving the church because of this too.”

Oh how I cringe at that last one. But in not leaving well once, I can admit that I wanted to hear those words. I wanted for others to see it my way, even though I knew that was wrong. I wanted others to leave with me. How immature is that?

There is much more to say in this letter… perhaps I’ll write more later, but for now, please know that I understand that it is hard and you likely have been and will be sinned against at some point in this process, but I can only urge you to do what is best in the long run. Bless others on your way out with words that protect the bride, that bless the ongoing ministry and pray for the transition of the new ministry leader. You will not ever regret doing these things.

Remember, these are our eternal teammates and and our war is not to be against one another, but rather against the enemy who is looking to divide us. Look to be a good teammate!

Grace,
Brian

Oh Dear! Partnering Up For The Cause

Brian Aaby Leave a comment

For the last three months I have been a contributing author for the Dare 2 Share Blog Relational and Relentless.

It’s been a lot of fun and I’ve receive a number of comments via the blog, Twitter, Facebook, text and in person. It seems people like the little play on words I created with one series I am running there called Dear Aaby.

The latest Dear Aaby post has to do with evangelism as it relates to home school students. Most Youth Pastors I have dealt with have told me countless stories of home school students and even Christian school students feeling like relational evangelism is impossible, since they haven’t any unchurched friends.

We’d love for you to submit a Dear Aaby question here on my blog, email me (brian at youthmark dot com) but most of all I’d love to you to comment on the D2S blog and keep the discussion rolling there!

Grace,

Brian

A Guaranteed Way To See Lives Changed

Brian Aaby Leave a comment

Here’s the guarantee: Pray WITH Youth.

I have been very encouraged by the reaction to the release of Pray21! No, I don’t believe that this book is the guarantee to changed lives, but I do know that it serves as an excellent guide for Praying WITH Youth (which does change lives). Pray21 is a simple, less-than-a-month commitment between a teen and an adult mentor.

The guarantee is that Praying WITH Youth will change lives — the lives of both the teen and the mentor.

Take just a second to think of the effects it’ll have on a teen:

  • he/she will feel cared for and supported
  • he/she will discover gifts and abilities
  • he/she will learn from God’s word
  • he/she will have a sense of being a part of the greater body (not just youth group)
  • he/she will likely gain encouragement that is so desperately needed in his/her life

How about the effect it’ll have on the adults/church:

  • We will have a greater connection with the next generation
  • We will be reminded that teens are far more capable than what most think they are able to accomplish.
  • We will have a greater sense of our calling and influence
  • We will see that 1 Corinthians 12 is true (one body, many parts, all needed)
  • We will likely gain a lifelong friend

“Pray21 has made a bigger impact on our congregation than any other thing we’ve done together” Dave Lind, Senior Pastor, Calvary Bible Church, Rutland, VT

I know I want to see permanent changes in my own life and in the lives around me. Changes that lead me closer to the thoughts and actions of Jesus. Prayer is what will fuel these changes. Praying WITH a teen will change both of our lives!

So seriously, what would prevent you and your church from doing Pray21?

Grace,
Brian

More Lightbulb Moments Than Ever Before!

Brian Aaby Leave a comment

20 years ago I started my youth ministry career as a 19 year-old naive Youth Pastor at a church plant that was crazy enough to risk on a young man who was only two years into  his relationship with Jesus. One of the primary reasons I was drawn to this thing we call youth ministry was the light bulb moments in the lives of others. I love that moment when you truly see someone else get it!

  • That moment when the Gospel truly takes root
  • The time a student begins to understand how loving others actually relates to loving God
  • That time a parent gets that you showing up to a game makes a difference in the life of his or her child
  • Those moments when they get your hilarious joke when speaking (be patient, eventually it will happen!)
  • Or that time when he finally understood that tripping the girls isn’t the best form of flirtation!

Light bulb moments are what drew me into youth ministry and light bulb moments are what keep me on the path!

For the last two years I have volunteered on the college-ministry team at my church. Like most non-college towns (we are 30-45 minutes away from any major college/university) we struggle to keep a critical mass of students. In many ways I would say that we have been in maintenance-mode, faithfully serving those who have come and gone, but if I’m being honest, I’ve been waiting to see the light bulbs!

EVERYTHING has changed in the last six weeks!

Six weeks ago we shut down what we were doing and invited students to own and operate the ministry with us (adult leaders). We became a ministry that I coined “Student Led, Adult Mentored Ministry.” (I wrote about SLAMM here).

6…5…4…3…2…

Six weeks ago we (mentors) took the students out for an activity to help them understand the root of influence. Five weeks ago we prayed, plotted and planned together. Four weeks ago the first student led our Sunday morning time. Three weeks ago that same student led. Two weeks ago another young man led, just as he did yesterday. Next week a brand new student will lead! Through each of these four weeks the person leading, on his own initiative, has sought the mentoring of one of us leaders. Through each of the six weeks the gal doing the administrative aspects has been consistently seeking wisdom from her adult mentor.

It’s working!

My favorite mental picture from yesterday was the moment when Gaelan (the young man leading our time) asked us all to turn to a passage of Scripture. Almost all of us in the room immediately turned to the passage (just as we did last week), but three of the gals to my right are international students who have just recently started attending the group. And just like last week they didn’t know where to find the specific book in the Bible (after our gathering last week I mentioned this in private to Christine, one of our college gals). Sure enough, this week, Christine noticed, got out of her seat and helped the gals get to the passage and then remained with them the rest of the gathering! Relationship started!

I witnessed the light bulb moment in Christine’s life.

I know it is a small thing, perhaps a silly thing in your mind, but it was one of those light bulbs that keep my student ministry path lit!

Peer-to-peer ministry works. Let’s trust. Let’s mentor and let’s watch the Holy Spirit work  in and through these wonderful ministers!

Grace,
Brian

Tales From The Field: Student Stories

Brian Aaby Leave a comment

This next spring Youthmark will be hosting our fifth season of “Mission51 Retreats.” Though we had been known for our Mission Ventures, the area of our ministry that has always scored the highest points has been our Mission51 Retreats and our curriculum.

Like our curriculum, each Mission51 Retreat has had a different theme and creative teaching/worship elements. This year we are making our biggest leap and risking in a brand new way and I’D LIKE YOUR HELP!

Can you do one (or more) of the following?

  1.  Tell a story of a student you know who is faithful to sharing Christ in his/her Mission51 Field (the 51 weeks outside of the mission)
  2.  Have a student write (email) in his/her story of building relationship/sharing Christ at a peer level at home.
  3.  Shoot (vide) a 1-2 minute (highest rez possible) of a teen sharing his or her story of being able to build relationship and share Jesus.*

Of course, you, as a youth leader, may have some stories of your own, I am really interested in hearing your stories of peer-level sharing (not just opportunities you had with teens).

Please send emails, videos and/or video links to info@youthmark.com.

-OR- simply comment here on the blog “I have one” and I’ll contact you (by commenting I, internally, have access to your email and can contact you).

We want to use these stories and videos as part of our Mission51 Retreat!

I can’t wait to reveal the theme and sneak in a few hints as to what will take place this year… stay tuned!

Grace,

Brian

*If doing video we need video permissions given, anyone 18 or older can say “I ______ give permission for Youthmark to use this video for promotion and training purposes”.  If student is under 18, get a video of his/her parent giving permission.