Debut: Feeling Friendly

Feeling Friendly!

I’ve started a new category!  Woo-hoo! Because weekends are often the time where I am not necessarily feeling the urge to do blogging and regular readership seems to ebb and flow (one weekend I’ll double my readership and the next it seems it is cut by two-thirds), I figured most of my “Feeling Friendly” posts would take place on the weekend.

Here’s the rules.  Essentially I am going to highlight some of my friends and how they may be able to influence you and your ministries.  Two things that I would ask in return:

1. If you’re a person/ministry that I highlight, I’d ask that you look for opportunities to push people toward this blog and/or Youthmark.

2. If you’re a reader, that you would seriously look at those I’m highlighting because I am going to be picky on who I highlight.  I really am going to believe in those that I list!

Today’s “Feeling Friendly” is a great one to start with.  David May is a friend of mine from a former church.  David sort of became my personal sound guy.  Weeks that I was preaching, had one of our youth teams leading worship and whenever we had our once-a-month merge service I wanted Dave to handle the ambiance (sound, lighting, staging, etc.).

He is an excellent sound-guy who works efficiently and effectively.  His business, Impulse Audio is the business I turn to for Youthmark needs.  If you’re a church, ministry or even a family looking for audio or visual changes, upgrades, assessments, etc. I can’t think of a better first call.  Here’s Dave’s February offer:

So its February and traditionally the slowest month of the year… so I want to give back to the community. Impulse Audio would like to donate 2 hours of labor to troubleshoot, repair, access or align any audio or video system in a scholastic or worship facility.

No strings attached at all. All that I ask is that you be flexible with my available hours and pass the word to others.
Dave May

206-650-0075

How’s that for an offer?  It’s free!

Grace,
Brian

Quick Notes and Updates

Every now and then it’s fun to do some quick thoughts and updates; things that may not warrant a full post; so here they are:

  • Youthmark now has a twitter account, follow us @Youthmark
  • Of course, you can also follow me @brianaaby
  • Updated my “speaking opps” page.  Praying for those opportunities and looking for others!
  • Really digging the College Group at Faith (teaching Sunday mornings).
  • Finishing the work on the 2011 RoadGrip, HomeBase and Merge!
  • This marks the earliest that these books have been completed (because we have offered spring break trips); this is a GREAT feeling (I feel “almost caught up”).
  • Halle is getting baptized this Sunday (this will get a post later), but we’re so excited by her step of faith!
  • Halle and Audrey are both in the church musical coming up; if interested in seeing a show, let me know!
  • Audrey lost her first “upper” tooth last night.  Very exciting, now she whistles while she speaks.
  • Will is about 44% potty trained.
  • Because of gracious friends, carry-over balance on cards from last year and being more creative in my “rent” I have literally only purchased one cup of coffee with 2011 funds. This is huge blessing!
  • If you haven’t seen my wife’s blog in some time, go check it out, she’s been posting more regularly.
  • Please pray this weekend for my friends at Dare 2 Share, they have a 500o person conference in Ohio!  Like Youthmark, they seek to equip students for THE Cause (what Youthmark labels “Mission51“).  Praise God for D2S!
  • Looking forward to debuting a new feature on my blog (perhaps even over the weekend…hmm…stay tuned).

Hope you have a Super-Weekend!

Grace,
Brian

Three-For-Thursday: Superbowl Commercials

Many-a-year I have been to and/or hosted a Superbowl Party with youth groups.  It’s always a mixed bag when it comes to Youth and Superbowl  Events.  You hope for a good game but you also hope for great commercials.  Of course, some of those commercials are a little too PG-13, R and unfortunately NC-17 rated.

Hopefully, my best commercial “3-fer” is G or PG at worst.

As we prepare for the 2 million dollar every 30 second phenomenon this Sunday, I’d like to list three ads I’ve enjoyed over the years.  I’ll admit , several “adult beverage” commercials have had me howling, but for the sake of this list, I’ll stick with the non-potentially controversial ads.

1. When I grow up:

2. Tabasco: 

3. Michael and Larry: 

There are many others that have had me laughing over the years, but these ones I felt represented some creative thought, randomness and were probably effective as well.

Shoot me links as comments to the ones you think have been the best clean-ones!

Grace,

Brian

SMS: Consistency Breeds Consistency

Excuse my grotesqueness for a second…

The other day I had a “blemish” (okay, zit) on the side of my nose.  Fortunately it wasn’t one of the Rudolph-type pimples, rather it was a bit hidden on the side. Really, if I must have one, I much prefer it playing hide-n-seek on the side instead of camping out on the peak.

No matter where it was, I was very aware; every conversation I had with others I was mindful of their eyes.  I watched to see where they were looking.  It was obvious to me, but probably not so much to others.

For Youth Leaders I think attendance at youth group is often their zit.  They feel like it is an obvious blemish that others are noticing.  When asked how youth group is going, most will answer with some sort of numeration involved:

  • “Its’ going well, a few less people than we’d like, but going well…”
  • “Awesome, we had 18 new kids last night, it’s going so great bro!”
  • “We had 43 yesterday!” (I don’t know if 43 is up or down, but that was the answer as to ‘how youth group is going?’)
A great attendance night is followed up with celebration and a great mood.  A poorly attended event may lead to a week-long panic that his/her job may be lost.
Numbers do matter, because numbers represent people and the lives we’re trying to minister to.  However, attendance at an event, class or program shouldn’t be the measure of relationship or the definition of your job.  I understand the pressure to see things grow, namely programs, but this cannot be the only measuring stick.  But because I know it is a measurement, I’d like todays SMS to address some simple things that can work to perhaps bring back some consistency to your possible downward trend in attendance (especially as we eventually move toward the traditional “senior fall out” of the spring), but more importantly, bring some better clarity as to your role as one who is in relationship with teens.
  1. Affirm Those Who Are In Attendance. “Where is everyone?” is about the worst thing a Youth Pastor, Small Group Leader or Pastor can say to those in attendance… Am I not anyone? Those who are at your meeting, event or ministry need to be celebrated and affirmed for being there.  Count it a blessing that you have the opportunity to be in relationship with the flock who is there rather than concentrating on and being consumed in thought by those who are not.  It is obvious to those there.
  2. Quick Communication To The Absent. A timely text message (not mass text) to an individual may be exactly what is needed.  “Hey Jordan, sorry we missed you tonight, hope all is well, look forward to seeing you Friday at the game.”  10-15 texts, emails or FB messages immediately after an event may go a long way to a student feeling missed.  Remember, many students are internally asking the question “will people notice if I’m not there?”  Make sure you do notice.  In addition, use  the name; students can sniff out a mass text!
  3. Maintain A Safe Distance. We have all had students who simply don’t want to be chased.  Be careful that in your pursuit of relationship you don’t look like a freak, “that guy” or “that gal” who won’t lay off.  However, consistency in the life of a teen is key.  If you maintain consistent communication with teens and your relationship with them isn’t dependent upon their attendance at youth group then they won’t feel chased, they’ll feel pursued.  I believe these similar words have a very different feel.

Knowing that the world is telling students mixed messages, one minute a teen feels valued and the next they feel like the person who wasn’t asked to prom, we have the opportunity to consistently be in relationship with these wonderful students.  Remember, you’re not alone, it is not up to you to make a student feel valued, your team is vital to this.  Each person on your youth ministry team can/should be pursuing his or her flock. Beside that, you don’t have all the time in the world.  Taking five to 15 minutes a week just to communicate consistently with that missing volunteer, absent teen or seldom seen parent could go a long way toward growth in your community (regardless of event population).  Don’t be consumed and add to your busyness, be freed up for relationship (speaking of busyness; next week I’ll conclude the “Margins” series, check those two posts out here: part 1 and part 2).

May the attendance blemish no longer define our week!

Grace,
Brian

My Life Be Like… Costa Rica

Last week I posted on Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday about my recent Costa Rica Trip.  That last one is a CONTEST, so be sure to check that out you may just win!  As a wrap-up, I decided to post a quick and fun three minute video I created for Mac, Anthony and Erick; the “band of brothers” who got to hang out together all week.  It gives you a pretty good overview of our time together, the places we encountered and the people who were a great blessing.

Will you please pray for CR?  While you’re at it, pray for Youthmark and the “one month window” I blogged about on Friday as well!

Grace,
Brian

(CONTEST) W.A.I.T: Costa Rica Road Rules

The driving in Costa Rica is not quite as bad as India, but there were a number of times I wondered if I wasn’t going to be enjoying the discomfort of a Costa Rican hospital.  To make matters worse, we encountered the following picture a number of times.  So rather than getting angry about it, I thought I’d just shoot a picture of it and then let you all make up some fun “What Am I Thinking” quotes.

Circumstance: We were driving down a fairly steep grade and passed two guys on their bikes, both looking down at their cell phones, I was able to grab my iPhone, get it to photo and stick my hand out the window and shoot as quickly as possible, the hombre looked up just as I shot the pic.

Give me your thought, caption or comment.  I’ll narrow down the list to those “in the running” and then crown a Costa Rica WAIT King or Queen.  The winner gets a souvenir from Costa Rica.

No worries if your comment doesn’t post right away, I will need to approve you if you haven’t commented in some time or never at all.

Grace,
Brian

***************** In The Running ******************

tech support says left hand on bar as well ??? ~Aaron

Oye, por lo menos estoy texteando en bici, no en el coche como ese gringo loquito! ~Calia

Who says men cannot multitask? Peddling, Steering, Texting and Posing for the Camera. ~Dusty Buchmann

Listen, at least I’m texting on a bike, not in a car like that crazy gringo. ~ That Guy

**************** The Winner ***************

Way to go “That Guy”… that one just cracked me up.  Sure wish I could understand Spanish, because Calia would have possibly won!

One Month Window!

January 28 to February 28 is what I would consider our one-month window! Over the next month we’re praying that God provides many “Harvest Workers” for the fields he is preparing throughout the U.S.A, Canada, Mexico and Costa Rica.

Just last night I received this instant message from a college Freshman in Oregon:

“Brian, are you doing a spring retreat again?  That training and all the prep for and the actual mission to Alaska completely changed the direction of my life, I want to help at this years retreat if I can so that others get it too!

Many Youth Pastors have already chosen a mission trip, but the sad reality is that most groups don’t do much with training these teams.  To me, “sign-up and show-up” mission trips must stop, these are nothing more than “Christian Experiences.”  I believe the real blessing in mission is the “get it” moment when students (and adults) realize that mission is not just there and not just here–mission is anywhere!

Regardless of whether a team has a mission in mind; we want teams trained for Mission51.  Will you do Youthmark a big favor?  Help us get the word out about Mission51–training for the 51 weeks beyond the mission.  If you know of a youth group doing a mission ask the Youth Pastor what he or she is doing to get the team ready for after the trip.  Reaching our own Jerusalem is part of the mandate.  In fact, I’d argue that God did not release the Apostles to “anywhere” (read: uttermost) until they were effective at reaching Jerusalem.

We’ve released a quick three-minute video that explains Youthmark Mission Ventures and the Mission51 training.  It can be found at the Youthmark homepage here or on Youtube below.

Spread the word, we’re hoping to see a large increase in the number of teams using some training books, attending one of our Together, Spring Retreats or getting copies of Merge for after their mission experience.  Of course, we still want many Youthmark teams as well, the full benefit of all the training at the most affordable prices for a mission.

We’d love it if you would send emails with links to this blog or Youthmark.com, post on Facebook, do whatever you can; get the word out, let’s use this one-month window where Youth Pastors are making big decisions to spark Mission51!  Will you?

Grace,

Brian

Three-For-Thursday: 1000 Word Pictures

I just returned from a six day Scout/Speaking trip to Costa Rica.  This summer Youthmark will have a few teams headed to Central America.  I was honored to have my friends Anthony (C.O.O. of Hope Partners International) and Mac (Lake Sawyer Christian Youth Pastor) with me on this trip.  I will post a few blog entries about this trip, but for today, I will give you the top “Pictures that tell you 1000 or more words.”   These will begin to give you a glimpse of a few of the things we were able to see and experience.

1. Costa Rican Christian Television! No make-up, no big-hair and unfortunately, no Carmen!  Oh well!  On Tuesday we were in studio for a 30 minute television show.  We were asked many questions about Youth Ministry.  It looks like Youthmark may be playing a key-role in a national Youth Leaders Conference in 2011. The guy on my right is Ronald, he was the talk-show host.

2. Blessings! It seems each day we were gone for many hours; but the longest day was Monday, we drove to a coastal town where we met Fernando. Several months ago this Christian leader discovered he had cancer, the doctors now give him just a few months to live.  We visited him in the morning and discovered he and his wife are sleeping on the floor (with a 1970’s mattress on the ground).  He is in great pain (especially his back).  We left spent the rest of the day visiting many others, driving hours away.  But Fernando stayed on our minds. On the way back we stopped and got an Orthopedic mattress and surprised them by returning and presenting him with the mattress.  In a quiet moment several minutes after we gave the gift, I found Fernando overwhelmed and crying on his new bed, praising God.  He said, “God is so good to me, I can’t believe how good He is to me…I believe God will heal me, I will continue to serve Him.”    I promised Fernando that we would have many back in the states praying for him.  Would you please lift up Fernando right now?

It was reported to us the next day that he had a VERY good night sleep!

3. Church! Many of you know I am a BIG fan of the book of Acts.  This trip to Costa Rica felt very “early-church” to me.  On Sunday we got to experience two church services.  I was asked on Saturday evening to preach on Sunday morning at a church about 90 minutes away.  What an honor!  The worship was pure and genuine.  We were so blessed by this humble setting.  An 11  by 45 foot room is what I’d guess.  In the afternoon I was asked to preach the message again at our second church back in San Jose, during worship I was led to change up my message, Erick confirmed that each message was the right one for the two different congregations.  The second house-church was truly that, 30 people gathered in a 14 by 14 room.  I thoroughly enjoyed how  well they loved each other and devoted themselves to the things of Acts 2:42-47.  After church we shared life, watching the Costa Rican National Football (soccer) team play on TV.

I can’t wait to share more.  God is at work in Costa Rica.  I am happy that He is blessing several from the US to join Him there this summer.

Grace,
Brian

I’ve Seen It All… Almost.

Today, I returned from an incredible six-days in Costa Rica.  God taught me much, maybe too much.  I was consistently blown away by evidence of His grace and proof of man’s depravity.

One moment I was laughing with friends Mac, Erick and Anthony and the next we were silent as we pondered the reality that that girl we just passed was just used by a man so that she could support her drug addiction.  I experienced such genuine worship with people I had never met, was fed by a family who probably spent one-weeks wages just to feed the four of us touring (and they wouldn’t have it any other way) and was in awe of God for the beauty of the surrounding mountains, beaches and people.  God used us to bless others, but I was far more blessed by others.

I will process this trip for many days.  In reality, it has once again driven me further down the path of Mission51.  I firmly believe that we MUST train Christians to reach their own home-town. God used us to bless the Costa Rican people, but because we don’t know the culture, the language and the needs we are most effective in encouragement.  However, I watched native CR blievers, reach out and speak into the lives of non-believing nationals.  So it is with us; teens trained to reach their own campus, club, community and even their own church!

We are hoping that many others will join us not just in Costa Rica, but in places like Rockaway Beach, OR; Council, ID; Tijuana, Mexico; Vulcan, Alberta, Canada, Native reservations in AZ and inner city Seattle to name a few.  We need your prayers, God will send people out for one week, but 51 weeks at home is where the REAL mission is!  At Youthmark I simply want to provide training for Mission51, how cool is it that at times he wants us to see other stuff?  I know I haven’t “seen it all” yet, but this week I saw a lot more, now I get to apply it at home!  Speaking of home; oh how happy I am to be snuggling my family once again!

Grace,
Brian

SMS: The “Like” Button

Every now and then I will read a status update from one of my friends on Facebook that is really good.  I may even hit the “like” button on it, it’s that good! Whether it’s an update about the persons day, a link to a fantastic blog-post or a quick quip that had me at hello,  I “like” it and want the person to know.  It got me thinking; what if Christians carried around “Like” buttons and started practicing this in person more often?

I’ve now entered my 20th year of working in Youth Ministry.  I certainly “like” this.  I really enjoy working with teens, parents/families of teens and all the other people who are on the team influencing youth.  But it is often a world where “like” buttons are not pushed often enough or for the right reason.

We often “like” the little things in life.  We like things that are often just the first layer of the person.  We honor humor, appearance and ability.  This is not wrong at all; but these attributes are only the skin (and sometimes the cover) to the soul. I wonder what it would look like in youth ministry if we took the time to “like” the soul of the other person?

Whether you’re a parent in youth ministry,  serving as volunteer on a team, or maybe even a student, this blog is for you.  If you’re an elder at church with a youth group, a principal at a school that has a campus club (Young Life, Youth For Christ, Fellowship of Christian Athletes, etc.) or if you’re a grandparent of a child who goes to a Student Ministry group, this post is for you as well. Soul encouragement is needed, let’s move beyond the surface and begin to bless one another with real “likes.”  I’ll give three quick snapshots.

To Parents/Families: Take the time to speak into the lives of those influencing your teen.  Please understand that though the Youth Pastor may receive a paycheck for what he or she does, that X amount of money isn’t the reason they are doing it.  The value of a changed life, reproduced soul and influenced family is the real payment.  Knowing that what he or she does is bringing glory to God is certainly payment enough, but please don’t let it stop there-you have the opportunity to give them the cherry-on top and the affirmation/reminder that God is at work in his or her life.  Think about the scores of others, the volunteers in student ministry who don’t get the monetary reminder of a job well done, these shepherds will be fueled by your encouragement.  But again, don’t just say “thanks,” speak into their lives.  Let them know what you “like” and why.  Don’t just compliment about how they are leading your family member, notice the attributes of their soul.

Students: Take the time to compliment, encourage and bless your best disciplers. For many, this is not your Youth Pastor or even your small group leader, my prayer is that it is your family (and even more pointedly, your parents)!  Of course, you should bless the socks off your other influencers as well; but I’d encourage you to honor your parents/family behind their backs, but in addition, speak into their lives at home.  Remind your Dad of the great things God is teaching you through the way he lives his life.  Tell your Mom the wonderful things you see the Lord doing in her life.  Don’t just say “thank you” for the way they provide, give your parents permission to lead you even better!  I know that some come from difficult situations where this isn’t possible; but you’re not exempt, the spiritual parents in your life will be so blessed by your words, emails, texts and wall posts.

Youth Pastors/Leaders: We are typically great at “liking” the surface things.  Because our influence comes in one hour chunks a few times a week, we don’t often have a lot of time to speak more deeply.  When we go to watch the game we compliment after, “good game.”  When we hear the student give a testimony at church we often follow up with “great job, you did awesome.”  Again, this isn’t wrong; but what if we dove in deeper?  The parents of teens in your group are influencing the way you have or will parent; take the time to speak blessing into those lives, go beyond thanking, give examples of why and how you were influenced.  Your teammates in youth ministry could stand to be blessed as well.  Whether it is a co-leader, another Youth Pastor across town or the parachurch guy/gal at the school; speak deep with real “likes.”

Of course I could go on, but instead, let’s just move on to action.  Let’s fan into flame the gifts the Holy Spirit has given.  I read in 1 John the consistent reminder for the believers to love each other, then the outsiders will know us.  I see in Acts that the early church met with one another “constantly” and loved each other so well that those outside the church came to know Christ.  I see in 1 Thessalonians that Paul wanted to “live among” the people so that the Gospel and life could be shared.  Our call is to love, encourage and bless the body by not just liking, but loving.

My “like” button is in hand, I pray that I’ll be able to “like” the soul of those around me so well, that they truly do sense my love for them, not just my “like” for what they do.  The student ministry world will be rocked, the church will move forward and those lost may even be found!

Grace,

Brian