I Sat Next To “That Guy.” You Should Too!

Two of my kids were recently down for the count with the bug. Because I am part of the leadership for our college-age group and because my wife is an amazing servant/mommy she volunteered to stay home and I made the trek to church with just my eldest daughter in tow. After a great time with the young adults I made my way into the church service…

Early that morning I had tweeted: “Many will attempt the ‘Love God’ part this am in our churches, but let’s also apply the ‘Love others’ portion! Risk a little & be real.”

… I walked into the auditorium with a sense of anticipation, with a desire to be obedient to the very thing God had placed on my heart, to love others.

As a solo-attender that day I could sit with another family, perhaps someone from my small group? I could look for a new family and go out of my way to make them feel welcome. Instead, I sat by a  40-something single man. A man I don’t know well, but have had some interactions with.

“Can I sit here?” I asked.

“Yes, please do!” He responded with an unsuspecting smile as he moved his Bible off of the seat he was sure would be unoccupied.

We worshipped together. We laughed at the same sermon-appropriate jokes from our Pastor. I skipped to different passages on my iPad while taking notes. He seemed more content reading the Scriptures off the the projected screens as we listened to our Pastor.

We were good kids, we didn’t talk during the sermon.

As the service concluded he turned to me and rocked my world with his words.

“Brian, thank you for sitting with me. You just raised my status a few points… I normally just sit alone.”

9477_kp_16My perspective changed. I don’t know what it is like to be 40 something and single. This man does most things on his own. He eats most meals alone, shows up to small group alone and returns back home, alone. He longs for relationship (just as I do). But the difference, I can at least cover-up any look of loneliness by being with my family.

I just sat with him. Nothing more, nothing less. This “raised his status?”

It certainly didn’t have to be a 40-something single, there are any number of others that feel lonely. I know many teens struggling with their identity and sense of belonging. Young married couples without kids may feel different (and alone). I am sure several families come to church with the feeling of “lack of connection.” What about the widow or widower? And yes, even the church staff/pastors struggle– it seems everyone knows their name, but very few feel known.

Loving others’ this day meant sitting next to a single man. Today, not in church, the circumstance has changed, but the command from Jesus remains the same. Whether in church, in my Christian circle or out in my community, I desire to be more present and more aware. Today I will risk and look to love God and love others.

Grace,
Brian

 

Mission51: Real Life

Oh man I’m gettin’ a little giddy. The Mission51 Retreat season is only a couple months away!

In the last two or three years I’ve sensed a renewal in the hearts of many I’ve interacted with. It seems a lot of people are awakening to the spiritual needs of friends and loved ones, but then quickly get frustrated (or defeated) by their inability to share the truth with these loved ones.

It’s as if they’re saying “I know I am a Christian, I love Jesus, I know that I was saved by grace through faith… but I have no idea how to share that with others in a way that is not trite, not cheesy and is non-confrontational.”

I believe at the core, soft-hearted, passionate believers are asking, “how do I share the gospel in real life?”

RealLifeConceptSmallThis is our theme for the 2013 Mission51 Spring Retreat.

With the changes we’ve made and the partnerships we now have the Mission51 Retreat is now completely open to the masses! Any youth group is now open to sign up for the Mission51 Retreat and not just those groups affiliated with a missions trip.  In addition to it being open to all, we’ve got some unique new things happening (see the video below).

We’ve even made it possible for groups to handle the registration online (click here).

Please take a minute and a half now and see the preview video for the Real Life Mission51 Retreat and spread the word to others in and around: Southern California, Northern California, Oregon, Washington, Colorado and the New England States!

Grace,
Brian

 

Go Undercover To Help Us Discover!

Your input my just be the key to meeting some key needs… stay tuned.

1265955_87966114Channel surfing last week I happened upon a mini-marathon of Undercover Boss. Each episode features an executive from a big corporation who goes undercover and does “regular” jobs for his or her own company. They work with the normal (and often underpaid) workforce. Through the one hour show you get to know the stories of those fueling the machine.

I DVR’d the marathon and have watched four of the episodes over the last 10 days. Though no-tear has fallen, I admit that all four have gotten me to well-up. As the executives discover the real stories (work related and personal) of their lesser known teammates they become emotionally involved and want to help! Sometimes we just don’t yet know the stories! Here’s where you come in…

My organization, Youthmark, wants to know the stories and help meet the needs. We have some Christian schools who partner with us and use our curriculum to help train students for Mission51 (the 51 weeks beyond a mission trip). We want students to understand that mission is not just a trip. However, it is often a mission trip that will help enlighten them to the needs in their own hometown.

We have two teams that are specifically looking to respond to an area of need in late February (Feb. 24-March 1). You may just help us place them!

P1030532The “Disaster Response” teams have been training and raising funds to be sent anywhere in the contiguous 48, but we have intentionally held off on naming the “send to” place until about six weeks prior to the trip. The team knows their entry point is typically going to be through manual/physical labor, but their hope is to also meet not just physical needs, but emotional and spiritual needs too.

Do you know a specific area of need?

One Disaster Response team last year was sent to Hildebran, NC. Just a few days before the six-week deadline a tornado struck Hildebran. I contacted a Hildebran church and we put together the trip. It was such a hit that one of the participants returned, informed her Youth Pastor (at her Phoenix church) about the need and four months later a church from Arizona arrived in North Carolina for a youth-group mission trip!

751367_72386938Perhaps you know of a church/community that has been decimated by Hurricane Sandy? Maybe you know of an area damaged by flooding, fire or some other natural disaster?

Personally, I want these students from this specific school to return to their own hometown ready to listen to the stories around them and begin to meet those needs! Please let me know if you have ideas! Leave a comment or click here!

Grace,
Brian

The Stuff of 2013

Happy-new-year-2013-green-isolated-white-background2013…

  1. A new look for the blog (have done this the last couple years).
  2. Weigh less at the end of the year than I did at the beginning (accomplished that in 2012).
  3. Blog more in 2013 than in 2012.
  4. Publish a few books (a few of my own and few from others).
  5. Share meals, not just yard conversations, with neighbors.
  6. Log more miles on my bike than I did in 2012.
  7. 13 pre-planned dates with Elisabeth (a gift I gave her at Christmas).
  8. Park my car in the garage all year (clear the clutter).
  9. Do one major house or yard project (likely our deck).
  10. Get to at least one new state or country.
  11. Read all of the Bible (it’s been a couple years since I did this in a year).
  12. Solo-date each month with each of my kids.
  13. Talk to and about Jesus. A lot.

Grace,

Brian

Real Relationships

557539_10151163765247077_561781203_nHad a great time speaking at a 5-Church Retreat in Western WA December 27-29! Theme was “Blessed to Be a Blessing” and I developed the theme by looking at Real Relationships.

  • Real Relationship With God (1 Thessalonians 1)
  • Real Relationships with Parents (1 Thess 2)
  • Real Relationships with Friends (1 Thess 3)
  • Real Dating Relationships w/ Purity in mind  (1 Thess 4)
  • Really Relating with the Lost and Idle (1 Thess 5)

My prayer for this great group is that they would understand that Jesus’ goal is redemption in each of these relationships and that because they’ve been blessed they can be a blessing in and through each of these areas!

Loved speaking this week! If you or your group is interested in having me speak, I’m looking to fill up the 2013 calendar. March through May is booked, but a few weekends in the winter are still open and then many opportunities open for June and beyond! For more info click the speaking page above or here.

Grace,

Brian

(CONTEST) Aaby Christmas Letter Aab-Lib!

For all who have done Mad-Libs, be prepared for the Aab-Libs!

Be warned, this may take 5-10 minutes, but hey, it’s Christmas break, you have the time! These usually produce some hilarity, so let’s see what happens as you help us form our Christmas letter made specifically for you!

Four Quick Instructions.

  • You’ll need to have a piece of paper or an open word document.
  • Go through the numbered list below and give your creative words for each specific word-type (just like Mad-Libs).
  • Copy the story below and add your words that correspond with the numbers in the story (obviously, erase the numbers).
  • Insert this as a “comment” and it’ll post.  Be patient if it doesn’t post as a comment right away, in some cases I’ll need to approve you as a commenter.

After some time I’ll list those that cracked me up the most and then pick a winner based off those.  The winner gets a great White-Elephant gift to give away next year.

DO NOT READ THE STORY FIRST!!! Fill in these words first (note: it is usually obvious to read the ones that people read ahead first).

  1. Exclamation
  2. A holiday
  3. Something eatable
  4. Liquid
  5. Verb
  6. Name
  7. Number
  8. Name
  9. Something That Makes Noise
  10. A Sport
  11. Noun
  12. Body Part
  13. Name
  14. Activity
  15. Food
  16. Mode of Transportation
  17. Something women talk about
  18. Geographical Location
  19. City, State or Country
  20. Emotion ending with “ness”

************* Now Here is the Christmas Letter **************

Aab-Libs

(1)! What a year! Our hope is that this letter will only serve as an invitation to stay in touch all the more in 2013! Perhaps you’d like to come to our (2) party? Feel free to bring some (3) and (4) to drink!

So that we don’t actually have to (5) at the party, let me bring you up to speed on our 2012. Our oldest daughter (6), is now (7) years old, she is two years older than our second daughter (8), who really loves to play the (9). We enrolled the girls in (10) classes this year. We are constantly reminding them to not practice in the (11) as it scuffs up the walls. Man, that is not a sport for me, if I were to try it I’d probably strain my (12).

Our son, (13), loves his family, (14) and (15)! He is a quick-learner and pretty coordinated. At some point in 2013 I am sure he’ll be riding his (16) without training-wheels!

Elisabeth and I are doing well! From time to time Elisabeth gets to speak to women at churches about what the Bible says about (17). My organization, Youthmark is doing well and I’ve gotten to travel all the way from (18) to (19) this last year!

I hope 2013 brings you much (20)!

The Aabys

********

Have fun!

Grace,
Brian

******In the Running ******

*I chose to pick my favorite lines from the Aab-Libs to be in the Running…

“Our son, Tinker Bell, loves his family, driving and panang curry!” AlonAlon

“Elisabeth gets to speak to women at churches about what the Bible says about Brian Aaby.” AlonAlon

“Feel free to bring some strawberries and hand sanitizer to drink!” Will

“I am sure he’ll be riding his time-machine without training-wheels!” Will

“Elisabeth gets to speak to women at churches about what the Bible says about nail polish.” Audrey

“Feel free to bring some moldy cheese and toilet water to drink!” Halle

“Holy buckets!” mrsmommyaaby

“Our son, Lars, loves his family, antiquing and hummus!… I am sure he’ll be riding his zip line without training-wheels!” mrsmommyaaby

“I hope 2013 brings you much compulsiveness!” mrsmommyaaby

“Feel free to bring some fudge and paint to drink!” lessonsfromlizzie

“From time to time Elisabeth gets to speak to women at churches about what the Bible says about feminism.” lessonsfromlizzie

*****The Winner*****

I loved them all, but I have to say the line that caught me off-guard the most and made me laugh the most was Alon’s line about Elisabeth teaching about what the Bible says about me! Way to go Alon, you get a white-elephant gift for Christmas 2013, I’ll bring it down to you on my next SoCal trip!

 

 

 

Get Out Of Our Pews! Reflections After Tragedies

As if it were yesterday, I remember taking a geography test of the 50 states. I remember struggling with some of midwest and most definitely with the New England states. Which one is Vermont and which is Connecticut? Even so, I was still among the first students done and our third grade teacher always encouraged us to, read, work on other classwork or put our heads down and rest if we were ever waiting for others to finish tests and quizzes. I wasn’t a reader, I didn’t like schoolwork, so I ALWAYS chose head-down and quite honestly, there were times I fell asleep!

In my wildest nightmare I cannot imagine being awakened by the sound of gunshots.

I can’t help but think that some young boy or girl at Sandy Hook Elementary had his or her sweet daydreams interrupted by the evil reality of bullets flying through the air seeking to put to death all hope. How are we to respond?

Unfortunately schools, malls and movie theaters are no longer the safe-havens we once thought they were.

If this were not Newtown, CT, but was my own community, how would I respond? If I found out my neighbor had a son or daughter wounded, or even worse, killed, how would I respond? 

I hate to say this, but I wonder if I’d even know? Of course I’d know about the incident, but would I know that my neighbor was directly affected? And even if I found out they were victims of this violence, what would I do?

Without relationship would I even choose to invest?

Sure, I’d pray for them, but without relationship, would they even know that I wanted to pray with them?

Christians, it’s time for us to get out of our pews (or nice padded Sunday seats that most of us experience at our weekly gatherings). It’s time for us to know, love and do life with our neighbors. It’s time to invest in their trials and celebrate their triumphs! The good news should be active.

Brothers and sisters in Christ, the early church was founded by the early believers gathering together (just as we do); they would meet together, study the teachings together, break bread together and pray together… as a result God added to their number daily those who were placing their trust in Jesus. Scripture tells us that they had favor with ALL THE PEOPLE. This means that though they gathered and prioritized these four elements, they didn’t just gather, they dispersed. They met the needs of others (Acts 2:42-47 and Acts 4:32-37).

Have we forgotten to disperse? Have we neglected to meet the (physical, spiritual, emotional and relational) needs of others?

Are we prioritizing our gatherings like church, Bible studies, youth group and small group but forgetting to disperse? Have we forgotten to be the church because we’re too busy gathering as the church? The good news is meant to be active!

How will we have favor with all the people if we don’t prioritize dispersing?

It’s time for us to wake-up and invest in relationships with our neighbors, teammates, classmates and co-workers (churched and unchurched). Our pride and fear of rejection should not prevent us from applying God’s highest commands to love him and love others. In real relationship, our neighbors will know where we stand with Jesus and even if they choose not to believe, it won’t be because they never heard or saw our love for God and our love for others!

Knowing our neighbors will certainly not prevent all tragedies. But maybe, just maybe, personal investment in our neighbors will lead to less loneliness? If nothing else, the investment in these relationships will lead to knowing how to step in in the midst of these tragedies.

It’s time for us to get out of our pews!

Grace,
Brian

Christmas Break Youth Ministry Ideas

Christmas vacation in youth ministry has its challenges… on one hand it’s time away from school for students, which provides an amazing opportunity for youth ministry leaders to invest relationally in students. However, Christmas screams “family” and not only do we want our students to invest time in their families, leadership should be doing the same.

So, how should a youth ministry schedule the Christmas break? How can you protect the family (yours and theirs) yet still invest in the program and people during a time when some simply have the time to be invested in? Here is a short list of some ideas.

Show-Up Events:

92690_2489Simply let people know that “I’ll be there if you want to join me.” Be clear that these are NOT youth group events and not chaperoned, but any are welcome (including families)

  1. Shopping Spree and Food Court Madness (name the time you’ll be at the food court and students/families can plan their shopping time).
  2. Pick-A-Flick Matinee (name the theater and movie time for a “family-safe” film)
  3. Coffee Talk (name the time/shop you’ll be at for anyone who wants to join for a coffee-talk).
  4. Late Night Appetizers (many sit-down restaurants offer 1/2 off appetizers after 9pm, let the students know the time and place and you’re bound to have a great turnout!).

Service-Events:

83307_2859These will likely require a release form and a little shepherding, but not much planning.

  1. De-Lighting (right around the New Year, gather students, walk a prominently lit-up neighborhood and serve your neighbors by helping to take down their outdoor lights.
  2. Food Banks or Soup Kitchens (many community services are looking for volunteers during this crazy time, get your group signed up for a couple hour shift and you’ll be doing relationships and service with very little planning required).

I loved Christmas break as a Youth Pastor, I would typically do a few events like the ones above and took advantage of the time away from regular program to do the administrative stuff that would sustain the upcoming spring programming. And who could forget, I’d also use the time to prepare for “National Associate Pastor Preaching Sunday” (seriously, does any Senior Pastor preach the week between Christmas and New Year?).

Have some other ideas for events youth leaders can do that are simple yet highly relational? Spread the love by commenting!

Grace,
Brian

Stoked About These Soon-To-Be-Relased Books

Ahh! The sense of anticipation is rising!

Move_leader_guide_cover2Within the next day or two I’ll have the Leader Guide. And within a few weeks we’ll have the new Mission Prep Workbook in stock!

Move_Cover

Merry Christmas to Youthmark!

I’ll post about about this soon, but no matter what type of a mission trip you and your group go on, you should consider training the group for more than just a mission trip! Our line of Mission Prep, on trip and follow-up guides will help your group know that Mission is much more than a trip! Mission51!

Grace,

Brian

13 Things To Consider for 2013

I’m not a new year’s resolution type-a-guy. I’m not against them, to be honest, I just put off thinking about them until December 31 and by then I’d just be making a resolution on a whim.

Instead of a resolution, I created 13 considerations to think about between now and the New Year. Perhaps a few of things will become more than areas I just consider, but truly become things I commit to.

I invite you to the journey… make some assessments and see if any of these considerations for 2013 are ones you want to embrace.

  1. Who is a person I did not spend much (if any) time with in 2012 that I’d like to reconnect with in 2013?
  2. What are some ways I’d like to cut back on online social networking and step forward in-person socializing?
  3. What are some (new) ways I can serve, encourage, pray for and bless my wife?
  4. What is a possession I will give away (or sell) in 2013 in order to bless someone else?
  5. What is one specific and meaningful date I can plan for each one of my kids?
  6. Knowing we are one year closer to Jesus’ return, who are three people that I’d like pray for, care for and (hopefully see opportunity) to share the gospel with?
  7. What is something I want to do this year that most people would be surprised by?
  8. What is a segment or book of the Bible I don’t know as well as I’d like that I will take steps to know more?
  9. What restaurant have I not been to that I will go to in 2013?
  10. What are three areas of my life that I currently see as areas in need of strengthening?
  11. Who are three people in my life that I see as “strong or experienced” in the above mentioned areas that I can have a coffee/meal with for a one-time (or more) mentoring time?
  12. What book (among the scores that have been suggested) have I not read yet that I will FINALLY read?
  13. Who is one person (outside of my family) that I will specifically make it my goal to bless and encourage for the entire 2013 year?

Any other questions you’d like to share that could cause us all to think? Which of the above list sparked some deep thoughts for you?

Grace,

Brian