In just a couple weeks I will be guest speaking at a Parent of Teens Sunday School class. I’m thankful for the opportunity to meet with a great group of eager parents. In preparation I am re-reading Barry St. Clair’s Parent Fuel. The Pastor of this class has eluded to a question asked in the book, “How do we connect with a disconnected generation ?” So much we see teens who have isolated themselves from parents, through media or peers. Conversely, we see parents who have isolated themselves from their teens, thinking they’ve lost the ability to relate with them anymore, or that they just selfishly want to live their lives without interference.
Here is where you come in. Regardless of age, you probably have an opinion; pick one (or a few) of the following questions to answer. I will use some/all of these answers in my presentation.*
1. How do parents connect with their teen? What are the keys?
2. How do parents reconnect if they’ve lost connection for a period of time?
3. How do parents rightly discipline and still retain the relationship?
4. What are the major contributing factors to broken relationships between teen and parent?
5. What do you fear the most for the next generation of teens (those 5-10 right now)?
If you don’t mind, please list your status (students, parent of 3 teens, parent of grown children, etc.) and age (yes, you can be very vague if you’d like…i.e. “Fifties”).
Thanks for your help, I look forward to hearing from you.
Grace,
Brian
*I will not use specific names.
BRIANAABY.COM 
Parent of three 1/2 boys, 17, 20, 23, 25 one is a step young adult.
5. Will be few church options.
4. Misunderstandings and new technology.
3. Consisitency.
2. Stay home long enough and they will
might come by.
1. Just do it! HONESTY
former “kid” and mini-adult who is living at home to finish off paying bills and such and therefore, has to get along with her parents (and does, thankfully). 24.
1. How do parents connect with their teen? What are the keys?
-talk, shoot the breeze. the more you can talk about unimportant things, the easier it is to talk about the important. And make sure to try to talk not only one on one, but sometimes without looking them in the eye (driving, doing something). I saw a study on this and have noticed since that my best talks with my Dad (and various male friends throughout the years) are usually in the car.
2. How do parents reconnect if they’ve lost connection for a period of time?
-just do things together. Share themselves, tell stories. Take the pressure off and try to just BE together.
3. How do parents rightly discipline and still retain the relationship?
Make sure the kid knows they hate having to punish them but that they will if they must. I think every family’s different on this and that’s probably good.
4. What are the major contributing factors to broken relationships between teen and parent?
-unspoken expectations. Or where everyone always tries to guess at what’s needed or wanted. being forthright is really handy and saves the family much stress, even 20 or 30 years down the road.
5. What do you fear the most for the next generation of teens (those 5-10 right now)?
-That they’re going to be too privileged and mostly, that their parents will push themselves to the health and financial brink just to make sure their kid is “well educated”. Sometimes kids just need to play outside and not have a schedule all day long. Self-sufficiency.
Also, all parents should read “Generations” by Strauss and Howe, in my humble opinion. 🙂
(P.S. Brian, this book is a small obsession of mine. While not everything is dead on, it has some REALLY interesting thoughts. Boeing is even using it for management training now. I definitely recommend.)