SMS: Break

This is the official SMS (Student Ministry Stuff) for this Christmas/New Year break.

When given the opportunity to take a break, have down time or be go on a vacation.  Do so.

brianaaby.com is officially on a break, taking down time or on a vacation for the better part of this week.

The regularly scheduled SMS, Three-For-Thursday and other stuff will return next week (however, a CONTEST will be up tomorrow!).

Thank you.

Grace,
Brian

Christmas Gift from Youthmark

Merry Christmas from the Aaby family and Youthmark!

Since you found yourself perusing the web and came across my blog, go ahead, sit back, relax and take in a couple minutes of highlights from the Live and Love Loudly Spring Tour 2010.

A big thank you to Francisco Santana for the edit work on the video (he composed and performed the music as well).

2011 is going to be a big year for us! This year’s Spring Retreat, Together! is going to be quite the event… I’ll be leaking some of the info as the dates approach, but you won’t know what you’re going to get until you’re there!

Merry Christmas!

Grace,

Brian

Three-For-Thursday: Interns & Apprentices

As a Youth Pastor I had the privilege of working with some fantastic volunteer leaders.  The “staff,” as I called them, often felt more like our small group and/or family.  In addition to these great folk, after several years of being a YP, I took on the role of “boss” to paid employees as well.  I can only laugh now as I think of how pitiful I must have been in my first few years of leading those whom I was supposed to be grooming as these folk served as “interns.”  However, through the years (and many mistakes) I think I learned something about serving with interns (and eventually Apprentices, laughter has turned so joyous smiles.

As my Three-For-Thursday today, I’d like to highlight three (actually 4) of my former employees in the Youth Ministry Church-world.

Nathan Schlaud: Nathan served as my second “Apprentice” at Boulevard Park Church.  He moved across the country from Michigan to take this one-year risk of being an Apprentice.  It really was a perfect storm, we were working out the kinks of the now second-year Apprenticeship program we had developed (think: “Student Teacher” but for Youth Pastors-to-be) and Nathan had just recently graduated from College with a Youth Min degree but most of the churches he was interviewing with were not giving him the time-of-day because all other candidates were married, more experienced or older.  Our church and his personal circumstance, made for a great year. Nathan was a fantastic Apprentice, has become a very good friend and has grown tremendously.  He and his wife Megan are doing a great job at Grace Church leading the Jr. High through college-age students as well as handling many “associate” duties at his church.  Hard to believe he is now a “seasoned veteran” (28) in Youth Ministry and is really becoming a mentor to younger Youth Pastors now!  Proud of you brother!

Brad Hostak: Brad was my first intern at Boulevard Park.  Immediately when I arrived (in April) I was told that we would have an intern for the summer.  I was then told I would get to choose between two different college-age students who had applied.  It just so happened these two were good friends as well.  Thanks a lot church! Make me choose between friends!?!  I did the smart thing–I made a committee decide instead!  Anyway, they chose Brad; honestly, the most “raw” Youth Intern I had worked with yet.  Brad loved (still does) people! This foundation, love for God and others, proved to be a wonderful thing to build upon.  I don’t say this as a slam at all, but I honestly just didn’t think Brad had what it took to be a Youth Pastor; he was semi-shy, stuttered when speaking in front of groups, was extremely nervous up in front of groups, etc. etc. But, one could never deny is his passion for Christ and students. God did and is doing AMAZING things in Brad’s life.  He has shaped him into a great Youth Pastor.  Shyness, stuttering and nervousness all gone (okay, maybe some nerves with big crowds still?).  He and Sarah serve the Lord and the students so well at River Ridge!  I’m honored to have had Brad as an intern!

Wescott and Heather Robinson: Wes was a former student, turned college-age leader, turned intern, turned second year intern.  After we had hired him as a second-year intern at First EPC, I asked him if he’d have any issues with us hiring a female intern to work alongside him for the summer.  He was semi-hesitant and semi-excited.  When asked “how would you handle it if you felt any attraction toward said female intern?”  His immediate (emphatic) response: “I’d do nothing about it, I’m here for the students.” Well, he and Heather are now married and have two children.  Just so you know, his response “do nothing” was followed by me saying “why not?  If you had feelings, I would just want to know about so we could handle the situation appropriately.”  It was a great summer with Wescott and Heather; they served so well together  (and still do).  Wes and Heather are very good friends to the Aabys, we love them and their two daughters a ton!  I love seeing Wes grow as a man-of-God, a Pastor and as a Daddy.  His passion for the Word is so evident and he loves seeing students (and leaders) transformed by the Spirit!  Westwood is blessed to have Wes and Heather!

These four people are just a sampling of those that God has blessed me with as partners in ministry.  I’m thankful that I’ve been able to play a small role in their lives as they developed as great leaders of Youth (as well as great leaders to staff, parents and others in their sphere of influence).  I am thankful for all the interns and apprentices and the influence they have had on our lives!

Grace,
Brian

CONTEST: W.A.I.T. is that Santa?

Here ya go, a Christmas photo in need of your thoughts!  Our “W.A.I.T.” (What Am I Thinking) contest gives you the opportunity to provide a caption for the photo of choice.  Over the next couple days we’ll take your captions (through the comments).  I’ll give you my favorites in the “In The Running” section and then crown our holiday winner.  When you submit your comment it may/may not post right away, I may have to “approve” first, so no worries, it’ll come through.

The winner gets a fantastic White Elephant Gift!

Have fun with this one!

What Am I Thinking?

Grace,
Brian

**************** IN THE RUNNING *******************

How much coal will I get if I steal Santa’s wallet? ~Brad

“So when did Santa start riding on a broomstick?” ~Jan A.

I respect a man that knows when to hand over the keys. ~Terry

Great, now what do we tell Virginia? ~Ralphie

Egg nog was a bad choice… ~Parker

Jack Bauer has been here… ~Sarah H.

“No wonder Santa never brought me what I wanted…lush!” ~Nathan S.

Christmas with The Crank~ Nathan Bryce

********************* The Winner *********************

Some VERY solid entries, probably the best ones yet.  Shout out to Parker and Ralphie, almost went with those; however, I miss Jack… so Sarah H., thanks for reminding us that Jack is still on the run and that he’s taken out another poser!  A white elephant gift is on its way!

These Made Me Laugh

A couple things I came across this week in the ol’ blogosphere that gave me a good laugh.

Using WordPress gives me access to stats and such that I find interesting.  For instance, I can see the search terms people have used to somehow come across my blog; there’s always some fun ones and they probably end up in their search results based on the titles of some of my posts.  However, in the info section earlier this week I came across my own blog in Arabic!  Check it out and then pray about being the person who launches our Middle East Youthmark Offices!:

Each day as I fire up the internet, as it warms up (you’re supposed to let it warm up right?), I peruse a few other Youth Ministry related blogs; if you’re looking for a good laugh, a couple I saw this week may make you giggle too.

Mark Oestreicher’s blog (and others) posted this great digital nativity:

Jason Lamb’s blog had this great one about the stereotypes of Youth Pastors:

Have a great weekend!

Grace,
Brian

SMS: Church and Parachurch (Part 4)

Today I will conclude this four-part series essentially answering the question as to what the relationship between the church and parachurch could be.  This series is specifically dealing with how the two deal with “youth ministry” related crossover.  The first post (here) introduced the subject; the second post (here) dealt with how the parachurch may defend their ministry; the third post (here) handled the Youth Pastor (church) point of view and with this entry I will give some suggestions as to how I believe the two may better understand one another and work together well.

Network: I believe that the parachurch and Youth Pastors need to be in relationship with one another.  It sounds very elementary, but when you know the heart, passions and even the families of one another the support for one another becomes very tangible and evident.  If the relationship doesn’t exist yet, take the lead and initiate.  A one-on-one coffee, lunch or “office drop by” could do a world-of-good for beginning that relationship.  If an existing network gathering exists, make sure all churches and parachurches are consistently invited; have your network coordinator divvy out follow-up responsibilities so that the invite is given by various leaders.

Guest Speak: For the most part I believe the church should take the lead on this level.  Inviting the Parachurch leader into your setting to guest speak will give Parachurch leader the opportunity to speak to a different crowd (one that his probably predominantly “churched” and stretch his/her speaking skills).  I know that Rob, our local YL Director is an excellent communicator and can speak very well to “saved” folk just as well as he can speak to the unchruched (outreach crowd), I would guess the same is true in your area!  The Parachurch leader can/should use this opportunity to help the churched understand his/her role at the parachurch.  One very big misperception most Christian/Churched kids have is that ministries like Young Life are “Christian Clubs.”  Though they are lead by solid Christians, most club-based parachurch ministries exist to reach the lost, therefore club is not the place that challenging Bible lessons are given or Hillsong United songs are sung.  But because it is “Christian” the churched kids come to these settings and are sometimes surprised by the “party kid” they see, the lack of praise songs sung or the absence of a deep theological exhortation given and walk away saying “this wasn’t ‘Christian’ at all.”

Contact Work-Together: For the most part I believe the parachurch should take the lead on this level.  A Young Life, or YFC (etc) leader typically have a great reputation on the middle school and high school campus.  They, for the most part, are better at contact work because they are usually focussed on one campus, whereas most Youth Pastors I know have many schools represented at their church.  I would challenge the Parachurch leader to give the YP a call and invite them to go with them on a campus visit, be it a lunchtime, a ball game or a time to be “hall monitor.”  One MAJOR benefit will be for the churched and unchurched students to see the unity between the ministries/clubs as well.  In these settings look to cross-pollinate–Church leader introduce your students to the vibrant parachurch leader and parachurch leader introduce your students to the “my good friend who is a great Youth Pastor from _______ church.”

Liaison Leadership: I think it would be fantastic for churches to have a “liaison leader” who concentrates his/her leadership with the parachurch club.  Perhaps this leader is committed to one aspect of the church youth group (regular weekly meeting, Sunday School or small group) but then is committed to the Club as his/her other ministry.  Rather than being a Church leader who both goes to Youth Group and leads a small group, be a church leader who attends Youth Group and the parachurch club. The opposite can be true as well.  Perhaps as a Parachurch leader you can recruit a leader who is predominantly “outreach” driven, maybe this leader can commit to club, but also be committed to Sunday School at his/her local church.  The key to this one is that both ministries NEED to understand this liaison leader is specifically NOT going to be a full-time volunteer with either; don’t place the expectation on that leader to be at everything; allow them to be a great bridge!

Prayer Partners: Above any programmatic partnership that could exist, I believe that the church and parachurch need to be prayer partners in a much greater way.  This goes back to the first area of “networking” and relationship, but I believe that the church (especially) needs to partner with the local parachurch in a similar way we would partner with a foreign missionary.  We support them in prayer and finances, I believe the church can/should do the same for our “Jerusalem Missionaries.” As the church we have a great opportunity to support (in prayer, deed and financially) the missionaries who are called specifically to lost teens in our community.  I know that through this support and relationship that when souls are saved through the work of the Spirit at these campus based clubs that the most natural place the Parachurch leader will want the students to go is to a place that can properly nurture the young believer; where better than a place that has already prayed this teen to the point of salvation?  When was the last time your church (or even your youth group) invited your local “Jerusalem” missionary to share a quick testimony upfront?

For His glory I believe that God will continue to build His house on the rock–The Church; but a natural arm (extension) of that body is the parachurch.  I long for better relationship, one built on prayer, collaboration, partnership and sharing of ministry!  I believe this can/should/will happen!  For His glory!  Amen?

Grace,
Brian

Now that this series is complete, I solicit your thoughts, suggestions, feedback and additions!  Let’s keep the discussion going!

SMS: Church and Parachurch (Part 3)

This is the third post in my series on The Church and The Parachurch.  The basis of the series comes from question I received from a Youth Pastor friend in which he questioned whether or not our Young Life leadership was interested in getting the “saved” kids to church or not?

The first day (Tuesday) I introduced the subject and gave my background as to why I feel qualified to speak to it.  You can read that post here.

The second post (Wednesday) gave the perspective of the (club oriented) Parachurch leader answering the accusation that they are just numbers oriented, don’t get kids into churches and water down the Gospel in their clubs.  You can read that post here.

In today’s post I’ll attempt to answer from the Church leader perspective and defend the “rant” a parachurch leader may have toward church youth ministry.  In the case you didn’t read past blogs, please note that the “parachurch” ministries I am speaking about are “club” based ministries that may look/feel a lot like a “youth group” but typically are geared more toward the unchurched (Young Life, Youth For Christ, etc.).

What’s Up With The Church? What you may hear from a parachurch leader: “The Church is only concerned their numbers, keeping kids safe and in their holy huddles; we never even see Youth Pastors.”

I certainly went through seasons of partnering well with the parachurch ministries and at other times I was the one lobbing some grenades (more the former than the latter).  Like it or not and as I said in my last post, I believe that everyone should be concerned about their “numbers.”  Numbers represent people and we all (church and parachurch) should seek to be the best shepherds of our flocks.  There is a big difference between being numbers driven (just trying to get bodies into a program) and numbers-concerned (caring for the souls in attendance and trying to add more).  As a Youth Pastor I wanted to see the number of people grow in our groups; this was not a driving force, but I do believe it is a natural result of discipleship (disciples who make disciples).

My “beef” with the parachurch as a Youth Pastor had to do the local parachurch leader not understanding how busy our church-kids already were and yet it seemed they wanted our (youth group) students at their local meeting for the sake of their numbers.  On top of that they wanted our (Christian/churched) students to be “student leaders” in their club and that meant more commitments as well.  I wanted spiritual/emotional health for our students; youth group, small group, Youth For Christ, and Youth For Christ Student Leadership meant a minimum of four nights out per week, before you factored in any other social, sport or other extra curricular activity.

I’ll speak more to this tomorrow, but I do believe that besides parents the church should be doing the job of reaching/teaching and equipping teens (and all) for the work of the Gospel.  Parachurch ministries exist to come alongside the church and augment and enhance the ministry of the church, in essence it is an extension of the church.  It could be argued that if the church were doing her job, parachurch ministries wouldn’t need to exist.

However, the church is not perfect.  I was a student who trusted in Christ through the ministry of Young Life.  I would not step foot in a youth group; but jumped through the doors of a parachurch organization.

As a Youth Pastor I recognize the fact that though I am driven evangelistically we had parents in our church who have more of a “holy huddle” (HH) mentality.  Many who want their son or daughter “safe,” “in fellowship,” “memorizing Scripture” and unfortunately “not interacting with non-Christians.”  These attitudes and statements certainly can give the church and youth group a reputation of not being very “safe” or welcoming for the unchurched.  I certainly made effort to help give the “HH” students and parents a different understanding, while still trying to move forward with those who were more naturally drawn to the lost.  In seasons this was successful, in the worst of seasons I was seen as somewhat liberal for reaching out.

To give comfort to the Parachurch leader: I believe MOST of the Youth Pastors out there have a similar mindset— they want unchurched, they want young believers, they desire to reach the ‘farthest out” student, but they also feel the pressure (named or unnamed) of the HH pastor, board and/or parents.

Last, addressing the idea of “seeing us Youth Pastors more.”  I understood this to mean that the local FCA, YL or YFC leader wanted me to come to his/her ministry more often to reach the unchurched.  Believe me, I would love to.  However, like you, I am out 3-4 nights a week already!  Youth Group, Small Group, Board and Committee meetings consume our time too, so while I would love to reach-out to the unchurched or help a brand new believer at that club get discipled, it could come at too great cost, especially after I had a family.

Though not all of the “issues” can be addressed in a semi-short blog series, my hope is to draw out some very practical applications for the church and parachurch in tomorrows final post on this subject.  I do believe both ministries are vital and that the two can/should co-exist.  Again, it’s about Jesus and making Him known, if we keep that as our focus He will be glorified by this One body coming together!

Grace,
Brian

SMS: Church and Parachurch (Part 2)

Following a recent status update, a Youth Pastor friend messaged me: “So, how do you battle the trouble Young Life has with connecting teens to churches? Our local YL sees no problem and has no desire to connect teens to churches. Do you have an actual ‘Parachurch’  model working?”

Based on this and a number of conversations I’ve had over the years, I decided to take this question on in the form of a blog series.  Yesterday I introduced the matter, read that post here.

Parachurch, as defined by wikipedia:  Christian faith-based organizations that work outside of and across denominations to engage in social welfare and evangelism, usually independent of church oversight…

For the sake of my blog, I want to be specific about the kind of parachurch I am referring to.  In this series I am specifically dealing with a parachurch like “Young Life,” ones that take on a similar form of that of a youth group (a gathering of students for a programmed time of some sort).  Other organizations that could be included in such a category would be Youth For Christ, Athletes In Action, Youth Dynamics, Fellowship of Christian Athletes and several others.

With that specific type of parachurch “club” in mind, I’ll address the “What’s Up With The Parachurch?” question.

What You Might Hear From The Church (or Youth Pastor) : “The Parachurch is only concerned with numbers, keeping their students at their club and is really watered down; they never bring saved students to us.”

Let me start by saying every ministry should be concerned with “shepherding” so, if the argument is being made that a Parachurch leader is “keeping their kid,” I would hope that every leader (church or parachurch) wants to keep (shepherd) their students.  The better question/statement could be, “once a student becomes a Christian, is a parachurch ministry effective in discipling the young believer? In general I believe that the parachurch NEEDS to be more proactive with the church leadership in getting students involved with the local church.  The goal should not just be to get the student to camp and get them to say the “sinners prayer.”  As a leader in a parachurch ministry (Young Life), I believe every student coming through the doors of our ministry (or those we meet outside of the ministry) is a person with whom we hope to share the Gospel.  This student may or may not ever get to go to camp, so we look to love them then/there and enter relationship with them so this person can hear about and experience the person of Christ.

Though the parachurch I am volunteering with places a high emphasis on camp ministry (I believe Young Life does it best), the leaders who are most effective are going to be the ones who are committed to relationship now! But because they do camping ministry so well it is really easy to point toward camp and make that summer experience such an emphasis that it really can become about getting numbers to club so that we can do the ultimate push toward camp.  I completely understand this potential knock against club-based ministry.  It is something WE MUST resist and begin to see each person as a soul in need of redemption and then love them accordingly.  God may or may not want them at camp and we must emphasize relationship now!

The issue of “watering down” the Gospel has come up a number of times in discussion. One key thing I would want all church leaders to understand, our goal is to see the unchurched and unreached students at our clubs.  Though Christians are very welcome, our hope from the parachurch club side is that we have mainly non-Christians at the club (and that’s really what we want).  If a Christian student comes, we believe they should be there to bring their unchurched friends.  The audience does change the perspective of the listener.  I believe this is Biblical.  In Acts 17 alone, we read of Paul presenting the Gospel at least three different ways in three different cities, it was the EXACT same Gospel, but three different ways of presenting because of three different audiences in Thessalonica, Berea and Athens.  Whether it is our director sharing, me or another leader, we are looking for entry points to share the Gospel with these students. My presentation style does change when speaking to a primarily unchurched group; everything from the stories I tell, the length of message and the potential point of action–this does not mean that I’ve watered down the Gospel.  In fact, I would much rather love a student so well at club that my follow-up conversation at the basketball game or Dairy Queen is the place that I really get to share life with them (and the Gospel as well).

Much like the church, the parachurch is not perfect.  There is so much more I can/should write on this subject, however, due to space, I’ll keep it at this for now and take on the “What’s Up with the Church?” tomorrow or Friday.  Through that post and probably one more I hope to bring a little resolution as to how I believe we can work together better, get past some misperceptions and see the Kingdom increase so that God is most glorified.  After all, this is about Him!

Grace,
Brian

SMS: Church and Parachurch (Part 1)

On a Monday night a few weeks ago I updated my status on my Twitter and Facebook accounts; the update was something about the great time I was having hanging out with the high school students at Younglife.  I’m honored to be a volunteer for my alma mater, my third year now on the team.

Upon returning home a Youth Pastor friend of mine had sent me a Facebook message.  He questioned, “So, how do you battle the trouble younglife has with connecting teens to churches? Our local YL sees no problem and has no desire to connect teens to churches. Do you have an actual ‘Parachurch’  model working?”

Hmmm, where to go with that one? Experience and perception shapes reality, this Youth Pastor’s experience was that the YL leaders in his area want nothing to do with the church.

Each one of us will carry a different viewpoint based on our perception and experiences.  For the next few SMS posts (all this week) I would like to point out the perceived problems, from both sides and then the possible partnership and solutions that could come out of it.

Let me start by saying, I feel qualified to speak to this issue;  I am one who heard the Gospel and trusted Christ through the ministry of Younglife.  I have been involved as a volunteer leader for two different seasons and spoken many-many times as a guest speaker and volunteer leader.  I have been to YL camps  on the program side, speaking side, staffing side and as a leader of kids.  On the flip side; I got involved with a youth group my senior year in high school, then I was a Youth Pastor for 16 years and feel I know the “church” side of Youth Minstry pretty in depth as well.

I have “felt” both sides of the spectrum:

  1. I’ve been the Youth Pastor who wished the Parachurch leader (in one case YFC, another case Younglife) would better partner with us, the local church so that these brand-new Christians could grow in their faith through the local church.  In addition I’ve seen parachurch ministry done where easy-believe-ism ruled and a “come to Jesus” was presented without ever mentioning the cross.
  2. I’ve been the Younglife leader who wished the local church and the Youth Pastor would take more interest in Younglife, get his or her students to be more proactive with outreach and quit thinking that all parachurch ministries “water down” the Gospel.

I am fortunate that even my own spiritual formation came because of the ministries of both the church and parachurch.  Saved through Younglife; and then literally ignored (leadership transition led to not one person following up).  I was fortunate to be invited to a great youth group and immediately was discipled by the Youth Pastor.  I then attended a more church-oriented school (college) where “outreach” meant ministry to the down-and-out or out-of-country more then across-the-street.  I did both the church and parachurch leadership thing through my college years.  Through my years of being a Youth Pastor I have certainly had my own ups and downs in partnering with the Younglife and other orgs.  I’ve made the accusations and received them as well.

Over the next few posts (and I’ll probably post each day this week until I feel I’ve exhausted this issue) I’ll take a look at the following:

  • What’s Up With The Parachurch?
  • What’s Up With The Church?
  • What’s Could/Should Be

I am fortunate and blessed to be on both sides, to see the strengths in both sides and to know the weaknesses of both as well.  My hope is that through this series of posts a better understanding can come about so that we all understand that there isn’t “sides,” rather, one body, many parts.

Grace,
Brian

Some Cool Stuff

As I start the new week I’m  excited about the week that was.

A couple noteworthy items…

Last Wednesday our family converged on Halle and Audrey’s school to watch them both in their school spelling bee.  The First graders went first and Audrey made it through her first two practice rounds and the first two rounds of the actual bee; she unfortunately missed her word in the third round, but finished in 6th!  A couple hours later it was time for the Third graders to go at it.  I couldn’t believe some of the words Halle (and her friends were given).  One word Halle was given, I had never even heard before: “baronial.” We nervously watched and cheered her on through the first few rounds, it got way more intense as she made the top 7, then 5, then 3… all the way to the first place!  After the new year she’ll be representing all the 3rd graders at her school as she heads to the regional event!  Way to go Halle!

Late in the week I received a weekly email from YMToday.com.  I was very excited to see that they selected one of my blogs as their Featured Article.  Very cool!  Here is a link to it if you’d like to read (or re-read since it was on my blog a few weeks ago).

In addition, I did the finish work on both Anywhere: The Mission Prep Workbook and this year’s Leader’s Guide.  These are both off to the publishers for actual print/production now!  Yay!

Last, we received some brand-new registrations this last week at Youthmark, I love getting return churches, because these friends really “get” Youthmark and Mission51, but I have to say that it is really exciting to have some new folk jump on the the Youthmark train!  Welcome teams!

Here’s to a new week!

Grace,
Brian