Are you Focused?

February 12, 2013Brian Aaby Leave a comment

This last weekend I was privileged to partner with two of my good friends in ministry. Rob Townshend and I tag-teamed a Jesus Focused Youth Ministry (JFYM) Forum in Rutland, VT! We “partnered” in a sense with another great friends of ours, Barry St. Clair (though Barry was hanging out in Georgia)! Barry was supposed to be in Connecticut leading another JFYM forum simultaneously… that got a little disrupted!

By now, we have ALL heard about the NE Storm! It was quite the doozy, but fortunately for me, I was smack-dab in the center of the donut hole that didn’t get hit hard. In Rutland we had about 6-8 inches of snow, whereas 15 miles in any direction received anywhere from 1 to 3 feet of snow! AMAZING!

Storms disrupt in many ways, don’t they? There were 63 people from a couple different states and several different cities/counties that were signed up with their leadership teams from a variety of churches. Well, given that the storm hit on Friday and Saturday we were blown away that 36 people were able to make it to the all-day Saturday event!

Of course storms are not always physical. The very nature of this JFYM Forum is to call those in ministry back to a calling that is storm-resistant (I can’t say storm-proof, because I believe we are supposed to be effected by the storms of life). The JFYM Forums focus on 6 main areas of our ministry life, they look at ministry from an inside out approach. The six core principles we facilitated wonderful discussions on:

Growing deep with Jesus
Passionate prayer
Building leaders
Discipling those in our care
Knowing, growing and reaching our culture
Creating opportunities to reach the lost

I thoroughly loved the unity in the room from the 5 different churches and people groups represented. There were a few high school students and several approaching their 70’s. We had some who would consider themselves ultra-conservatives and others who called themselves charismatics! But all of us agreed on the one name that brought us together and the one focus we wanted to have as we scattered: Jesus!

Are you Jesus focused in your ministry? Start with praying for the desire for personal growth, let that extend in and through every aspect of your personal and ministry life! It will lead to ministry fruit if you take an inside out approach!

Grace,
Brian

An Open Letter to Senior Pastors

January 31, 2013Brian Aaby 4 Comments

NOTE: The below letter is not specific to any one pastor or a specific situation, rather, it stems from years of being a youth and associate pastor, a lay person in the church and now an elder.

Senior Pastors,

I admire you. You have chosen and been called to such a challenging position. Thank you. Though Hallmark likely created it, Pastor Appreciation Month is not often recognized the way that it should be and you’re not appreciated nearly enough.

You pour many hours into the Scriptures preparing your weekly messages but because you seek to meet the needs of your flock your study time is often cut short. You’re called upon to counsel, you’re asked to perform weddings and you’re expected to attend way too many fellowship lunches. You need to be at too many meetings and the one that you miss will NOT go unnoticed. I don’t envy your position, but I’m thankful you’re in it.

I hope you sense the sincerity of my above words. 99% of the Sr./Lead Pastors I have dealt with in my roles fit the above descriptions and I believe you need to hear more words of encouragement because your job is extremely difficult. I have a different form of encouragement for you as well… an encouragement to consider doing a few things I believe will help you and the people you care for. These suggestions may seem elementary, but please examine your leadership style and ask yourself and/or others if these things are true of you.

Collaborate: Your leadership is needed, but ownership in the values and convictions for the church will rarely come from your decree, rather by the discoveries of your leadership team (staff, elders, lay volunteers, etc.). Don’t tell them the direction, collaborate on the values and then lead them in the collective vision.

Develop: Steward your staff and your lay leadership well. The Rich Young Ruler walked away sad because he could not give away his riches to others in need. I believe a number of pastors would walk away sad if Jesus asked you to give away some of your gifted people (staff/leaders). Take the time (and allow your other pastors to take the time) to develop others under you with full knowledge that God may call them to be pastors, leaders and influencers to others elsewhere.

Get Unchurched: You spend 99% of your time with people who are or who think they are Christians. Many under your care have no idea how to bring Jesus into an everyday conversation. It won’t matter what you tell your people to say until they know that you’re being intentional about it too! I challenge you to fall in love with the lost, not just fall in love with the idea of the lost!

Again, I’m thankful for you and believe in you. My simple hope is that you’ll believe in us (your staff, your leaders and your congregants) a little more. Believe that we have good ideas and let us give them. Believe that we can be developed and give us the chance to mess up a bit and then catch us as we stumble. And last, believe in us enough to do life with us. Join us and set the example when it comes to loving and spending time with people who don’t yet know Jesus!

Grace,

Brian

Theology, Relief Pitching and Porn

January 29, 2013January 29, 2013Brian Aaby 1 Comment

Is this guy really going to blog about theology, pitching and porn?

Yep.

Let me start with the given. Many Christians would say they want to be more like Jesus! We sing it on Sunday, we ask for it in our prayers and we study how to do it in God’s Word. The process of becoming more like Jesus is called sanctification (theology reference, check).

Let me move to another (yet hidden) given. Many Christians are engaging in sexual activities that are directly affecting their spiritual activity and effectiveness. They’re looking at porn. They’re reading filth. They’re flirting with disaster and an adulterous affair may be in their future. Real relationships are getting rocked as unrighteousness runs rampant (Porn reference, check).

I received a text early on Sunday morning from our Lead Pastor. He was sick and asked me to come in out of the bullpen and provide some relief (Pitching reference, check). I was honored!

I decided to preach through 1 Thessalonians because it is chock-full spiritual morsels! I believe it is one of the most practical books in all the Scriptures as it provides a relational context of how we are to do “real relationships” with one another! From the foundation of a relationship with God through Jesus in chapter one, Paul touches on pretty much every sort of relationship throughout the letter (God, family, friends, mentor, romance, unchurched, idol and lost).

However, chapter four really caught my attention. Paul schools us in Theology 101 and teaches through the principles of justification (being declared righteous), sanctification (being made more like Jesus) and glorification (with Jesus in heaven). But get this, Paul makes a direct link between this theological triple play and purity.

Paul essentially tells the people that our sexuality and the sexual distractions play a large role in our sanctification process. What we do or don’t look at and act upon in the area of purity will directly relate to our ability to be more like Jesus. In other words, if we say (or sing) that we want to be more like Jesus we really ought to pay special attention to this specific area!

Books, films, music, TV, billboards, emails, websites and life are all throwing sex and sexuality at us from every angle. The simple, yet direct instruction I gave on Sunday was this: Stop it! Stop engaging in it. If you’ve trusted in Christ and are having an affair stop! If you love Jesus and are looking at porn, quit it! If you’re watching that or reading this and it’s causing you to lust, stop it!

But please hear this: his grace is enough! You’re not defined by those things that you must stop. If you’ve trusted in Jesus you’re now declared righteous. But as a child of the most High God, seek the help that you need. You can’t do it on your own. The world tells you to run, shun and shame, but God has sent the Rescuer, who is running to you and has already bore your shame. He desires for you to enter into real relationship with brothers or sisters who can help! Call that friend. Ask that pastor. Seek out the relative who is waiting to help you.

For the sake of your family. For the benefit of your marriage. For the betterment of your family and for the increase in the kingdom, make sexual purity part of the sanctifying work of Christ in your life!

Grace,

Brian

The Stuff of 2013

January 1, 2013January 1, 2013Brian Aaby 2 Comments

2013…

A new look for the blog (have done this the last couple years).
Weigh less at the end of the year than I did at the beginning (accomplished that in 2012).
Blog more in 2013 than in 2012.
Publish a few books (a few of my own and few from others).
Share meals, not just yard conversations, with neighbors.
Log more miles on my bike than I did in 2012.
13 pre-planned dates with Elisabeth (a gift I gave her at Christmas).
Park my car in the garage all year (clear the clutter).
Do one major house or yard project (likely our deck).
Get to at least one new state or country.
Read all of the Bible (it’s been a couple years since I did this in a year).
Solo-date each month with each of my kids.
Talk to and about Jesus. A lot.

Grace,

Brian

Five Questions That May Change Your Ministry

December 19, 2012December 19, 2012Brian Aaby 1 Comment

I had the privilege of coaching a few years of high school basketball and soccer. Having grown up playing many sports, I hated halftime, it just meant time away from the competition (though I did love the orange-wedges during soccer games). But as a coach, I LOVED halftime. Not only did it provide a breather for the athletes, it gave me the opportunity to encourage and make necessary adjustments to the game-plan if needed.

As a youth pastor, I LOVED Christmas break for similar reasons. During the two week break from regular programming, I took the time to individually encourage the team (leadership team, parents, students), but I also used the time to assess the game-plan and ask some key questions.

In this post I’d like to provide you five questions that perhaps you can ask yourself… be warned, if you take the questions seriously, you just may change your ministry (and this may not be a bad thing).

If were on medical leave for two months, what would happen to the ministry?
If the way I modeled peer outreach (how you reach out to the unchurched in your age bracket) were the only example students were following, what would your student ministry look like?
If you could not repeat a single camp, retreat, mission or event from 2012 what would we do differently in 2013?
If you could not use electronic/social media in 2013, how could your ministry improve?
If you were not allowed to publicly teach (preach, give the “talk,” etc.) or lead the Bible Study, but could disciple those students, leaders and parents who were, what would the ministry look like in 2013?

My prayer for 2013 is that “youth ministry” in the US gets more personal, more creative, more relational and that students, leaders and parents discover their gifts, talents and skills and are given the opportunity to exercise these attributes! Maybe 2013 needs to be a year of risk?

Get ready, the second half is about to begin!

Grace,

Brian

Get Out Of Our Pews! Reflections After Tragedies

December 14, 2012Brian Aaby 2 Comments

As if it were yesterday, I remember taking a geography test of the 50 states. I remember struggling with some of midwest and most definitely with the New England states. Which one is Vermont and which is Connecticut? Even so, I was still among the first students done and our third grade teacher always encouraged us to, read, work on other classwork or put our heads down and rest if we were ever waiting for others to finish tests and quizzes. I wasn’t a reader, I didn’t like schoolwork, so I ALWAYS chose head-down and quite honestly, there were times I fell asleep!

In my wildest nightmare I cannot imagine being awakened by the sound of gunshots.

I can’t help but think that some young boy or girl at Sandy Hook Elementary had his or her sweet daydreams interrupted by the evil reality of bullets flying through the air seeking to put to death all hope. How are we to respond?

Unfortunately schools, malls and movie theaters are no longer the safe-havens we once thought they were.

If this were not Newtown, CT, but was my own community, how would I respond? If I found out my neighbor had a son or daughter wounded, or even worse, killed, how would I respond?

I hate to say this, but I wonder if I’d even know? Of course I’d know about the incident, but would I know that my neighbor was directly affected? And even if I found out they were victims of this violence, what would I do?

Without relationship would I even choose to invest?

Sure, I’d pray for them, but without relationship, would they even know that I wanted to pray with them?

Christians, it’s time for us to get out of our pews (or nice padded Sunday seats that most of us experience at our weekly gatherings). It’s time for us to know, love and do life with our neighbors. It’s time to invest in their trials and celebrate their triumphs! The good news should be active.

Brothers and sisters in Christ, the early church was founded by the early believers gathering together (just as we do); they would meet together, study the teachings together, break bread together and pray together… as a result God added to their number daily those who were placing their trust in Jesus. Scripture tells us that they had favor with ALL THE PEOPLE. This means that though they gathered and prioritized these four elements, they didn’t just gather, they dispersed. They met the needs of others (Acts 2:42-47 and Acts 4:32-37).

Have we forgotten to disperse? Have we neglected to meet the (physical, spiritual, emotional and relational) needs of others?

Are we prioritizing our gatherings like church, Bible studies, youth group and small group but forgetting to disperse? Have we forgotten to be the church because we’re too busy gathering as the church? The good news is meant to be active!

How will we have favor with all the people if we don’t prioritize dispersing?

It’s time for us to wake-up and invest in relationships with our neighbors, teammates, classmates and co-workers (churched and unchurched). Our pride and fear of rejection should not prevent us from applying God’s highest commands to love him and love others. In real relationship, our neighbors will know where we stand with Jesus and even if they choose not to believe, it won’t be because they never heard or saw our love for God and our love for others!

Knowing our neighbors will certainly not prevent all tragedies. But maybe, just maybe, personal investment in our neighbors will lead to less loneliness? If nothing else, the investment in these relationships will lead to knowing how to step in in the midst of these tragedies.

It’s time for us to get out of our pews!

Grace,
Brian

13 Things To Consider for 2013

December 4, 2012December 4, 2012Brian Aaby 1 Comment

I’m not a new year’s resolution type-a-guy. I’m not against them, to be honest, I just put off thinking about them until December 31 and by then I’d just be making a resolution on a whim.

Instead of a resolution, I created 13 considerations to think about between now and the New Year. Perhaps a few of things will become more than areas I just consider, but truly become things I commit to.

I invite you to the journey… make some assessments and see if any of these considerations for 2013 are ones you want to embrace.

Who is a person I did not spend much (if any) time with in 2012 that I’d like to reconnect with in 2013?
What are some ways I’d like to cut back on online social networking and step forward in-person socializing?
What are some (new) ways I can serve, encourage, pray for and bless my wife?
What is a possession I will give away (or sell) in 2013 in order to bless someone else?
What is one specific and meaningful date I can plan for each one of my kids?
Knowing we are one year closer to Jesus’ return, who are three people that I’d like pray for, care for and (hopefully see opportunity) to share the gospel with?
What is something I want to do this year that most people would be surprised by?
What is a segment or book of the Bible I don’t know as well as I’d like that I will take steps to know more?
What restaurant have I not been to that I will go to in 2013?
What are three areas of my life that I currently see as areas in need of strengthening?
Who are three people in my life that I see as “strong or experienced” in the above mentioned areas that I can have a coffee/meal with for a one-time (or more) mentoring time?
What book (among the scores that have been suggested) have I not read yet that I will FINALLY read?
Who is one person (outside of my family) that I will specifically make it my goal to bless and encourage for the entire 2013 year?

Any other questions you’d like to share that could cause us all to think? Which of the above list sparked some deep thoughts for you?

Grace,

Brian

What Is Your Mission…Trip?

November 20, 2012November 20, 2012Brian Aaby 1 Comment

Are most mission trips actual mission trips or are they service trips, road trips or simply tourism-plus trips?

Is it word-confusion? Maybe it’s just a matter of semantics?

Perhaps it’s a “po-tay-toe or po-tah-toe” deal?

Mission is certainly not a faith-specific word, however, I do believe the original mission Jesus called the first-century believers to was certainly a mission of faith-making!

Plain and simple: I believe that a mission trip should, primarily, be for the purpose of disciple-making.

Before I am dismissed as a Bible-thumping, evangelism-freak, please understand that I firmly believe that we must show the character qualities of Jesus as we share the words of Jesus (especially as they relate to eternal life). A mission trip should have the end-game or ultimate goal of more people trusting Jesus for salvation.

This does not mean that every trip will be evangelistic in nature, however, I do believe a bridge to the great commission should be able to be made, explained and trained! Unfortunately, I get the sense that very few mission trip participants are making the connection (to the eternal) or receiving training.

Youthmark distributed Pray21 books to all participants at the National Youth Workers Convention (NYWC) and did a giveaway of an iPad mini at the Verge booth. In the few hours I spent at Verge I asked any/all who came by to register for the iPad a few missions oriented questions. Youth Leaders were very quick to give the answer to the “where do you go?” and “what they did” but only a couple were able to answer “how did you prepare the students?” I see this as a missed opportunity!

Service based Mission Trips are not my enemy, I’ve done them, enjoyed them and have seen great outcomes. But I believe they become truly missional when we make the tie to the evangelism/discipleship that will take place because of our service. For instance, we took a week to prepare a camp (physically) for a summer of hosting camps. We painted cabins, deep cleaned bathrooms, raked grass clippings and prayed over nearly every foot of the camp knowing that we were preparing the harvest field. In our prep and debrief of the daily duties we were able to motivate our group because of the hope of the eternal life-change that would take place on those grounds. Our service-sacrifice freed up others for the relational-investment they would make in the lives of students all summer. Even though we knew we were not likely going to have evangelism opportunities, we trained students in evangelism so they could relate to and pray for those who would have the opportunity at that camp. But our evangelism training leading into the trip had much more to do with Mission51- the 51 weeks of life outside the one-week trip! Our primary mission is not the trip, it’s our own campus, club, community and church!

Where is your mission… trip? Are you failing to connect the social justice acts you do with the eternal justification Jesus makes available for us?

Continue to do great things for Jesus, but make the connection to (and tell of) the great things He said as well! As recipients of His great grace, let’s look to share that message with all!

Grace,

Brian

P.S. In perusing the mission trips available at NYWC I was pleasantly surprised that a few were focused on more that just the trip and had a strong evangelism connection. I’d invite you to check out Verge and Youth Missions International as two of my favorites!

BRIANAABY.COM

Some thoughts about: God, family, ministry & coffee.

Category Faith Foundations/Bible Study

Are you Focused?

An Open Letter to Senior Pastors

Theology, Relief Pitching and Porn

Five Questions That May Change Your Ministry

Get Out Of Our Pews! Reflections After Tragedies

13 Things To Consider for 2013

What Is Your Mission…Trip?