SMS: Talk About Things You Love

If you have spent more than 10 minutes with me in the last two years you’ve probably heard me ask (and then answer) the rhetorical question, “why aren’t are young people sharing their faith?

I give three reasons:

  1. They fear rejection (of the family member or friend with whom they would share).
  2. They feel like they don’t know the right words to say (“I’d screw it up and say the wrong thing).
  3. They haven’t had it modeled (those that have gone before them, yes, including us, in youth ministry).

These are the things we’re trying to tackle at Youthmark! I believe that we can better equip students (and adults) with a relational approach to loving, caring and sharing with those who do not yet know Jesus.  I think teens will grow in knowledge and confidence that will lead to a loving relational boldness (w/o crossing the line of being “in your face”).  In doing this, I think one more key element must not be ignored… We must model it!

For my Student Ministry Stuff (SMS) post this week I would like to relationally and boldly (w/o crossing the line of being “in your face”) challenge you Mr. and Mrs. Adult Youth Leader to talk about the things you love!

This post comes from my experiences over the last week to ten days.  On top of hosting three lunches for Youthmark Mission Ventures and our Mission51 strategy, I was in and out of many-a-coffee-shop while trying to meet writing deadlines (speaking of, should I really be blogging right now?)… In this recent time period I have had at least five opportunities to share Jesus one-on-one as a result of people overhearing me talk about things that I love.

People Want To Love What You Love

While standing in line in Nashville, Elisabeth was overheard talking to her mom about different restaurants in the area.  We were hungry and didn’t know where we wanted to go. We’re obviously not locals, y’all, but the gal in front of my family was.  She gladly talked about the places she loves to eat.  We hit one (or two) of them up.  We wanted to love the restaurants she loved.  We were happy to take her recommendation.

While speaking to Youth Leaders in Portland our bus-gal (is that what you call a female who “busses” tables?) overheard a lot of our presentation as she walked around clearing plates and refilling glasses.  After the lunch and all the patrons had cleared, she said, “so, you obviously love kids and church-stuff, what is it that you do?”

Being overheard talking about the things that I love will open up doors to talk to others about the things that I love.

Are you talking about things you love, like Jesus?… students?… ministry?… church?… Scripture?…your marriage?… your Family?… even in public in such a way that people will ask you follow-up questions?

People Want to Be Part of the Conversation

While getting a refill on my coffee the other day I was asked by my Barista, whom I thought to be a Christian, “what are you doing today?”  I said, “just finishing and editing a book.”  The conversation continued, “what’s the book about, if you don’t mind me asking?”  Having told her that I was writing a book about Paul’s missionary journeys in the book of Acts we continued to have a 10 minute conversation talking about different things she and her husband are learning in their study of the book of Colossians.  During this conversation another Barista joined in and asked a number of questions about the Bible, places I was writing about, the bible study her coworker was a part of and how it matters to us now.

The first gal is certainly a strong believer, but the second Barista did not know this about her… yet.  I am thankful that an overheard conversation can lead to a possible relational evangelism opportunity between two Baristas!

Are you answering questions in such a way that invites further conversation with people about things of the Lord?  Are you looking for teammates, understanding it might not always be you that gets so share Jesus?

People Need For You To Speak Up When The Door Has Been Opened

I started each of my YMV/M:51 lunches with a short look at the beginning of Mark 2; the passage which describes Jesus healing the man lowered from the room to Jesus.  At the end of four or five minutes I would ask the Youth Leaders to engage one another with a specific question I asked.  During this several minute break, our waiter, who probably should have been circling the room getting orders, instead asked me… “hey, you ever read The Shack?”

I have not read The Shack, but do know enough about it to keep the conversation flowing. It was clear that this waiter did not know the Lord, but had a baseline understanding of God’s love for him in light of what he had read in the book.  It was a short conversation, but one in which I was able to share a little bit about Jesus and the free gift of grace He offers us in the midst of all the life throws at us.

The waiter continued to listen (and did do a great job serving us).  I had a short follow-up conversation with him as well.  It was very evident to me that he was open to the Gospel.  He was asking the leading questions.  He was seeking!

Are you listening to the questions being asked of you in such a way that you may see the door way open to share about Christ? It is very easy to just answer a question, but perhaps the question being asked is an open door for much more to be shared.

Are You Talking About The Things You Love?

It is easy for me to talk about my favorite team, a recent trip, my family… these things often do lead to entry points into relationship which then could lead to spiritual conversations.

However… I love Jesus.  I love the things that Jesus loves.  And I recently discovered that talking about Him out loud leads to these relational conversations even quicker!  Not saying that I’m going to start strategically speaking a little louder or a little more often… just saying that as my confidence grows, as I’ve gotten to know how to share the story more, as I’ve become a little more bold, I want to speak about Jesus more!  Perhaps my perspective is just changing, but it sure seems God is taking me to the places where people are seeking.

Let’s talk about the things we love (and in so doing begin to model to our students that relational, conversational, non-confrontational evangelism is actually a lot easier than we thought)!

Grace,
Brian

OSF x 3 and some other stuff

Some might think I would be tired of the Old Spaghetti Factory.  With three Youthmark Mission Venture lunches in the last week (four if you include the one Kirk did in Coos Bay, OR), I have had my fill of Spaghetti and Marinara.  Here’s a quick recap of those lunches and the great folk I got to hang out with.

Portland. Kirk and I hosted about 30 folk at the OSF in Portland.  This group was fun and energetic.  Upon arrival the management had already set up our room with two very  long tables of about 14-16 each.  Well, this years promotional lunch is better suited for tables of 4-6 to promt better discussion.  So, after some re-arranging we welcomed the group of Youth Leaders.  The movement of the tables was very wise, the 5-6 tables had lively discussion.  My prayer is that many of these leaders, who seemed to really grasp the Mission51 concept, will jump on board and do a YMV this year!

Tukwila. Last year the Tukwila (Southcenter) OSF played host to 56 youth leaders in the greater Seattle area.  Tukwila served as our one marketing lunch for the region.  My decision this year was to break into three lunches in the hopes we would draw more than the 56 from 2009.  Hosting lunches in Lynnwood (23), Lacey (19) and Tukwila (31) was a good decision.  I really enjoyed the Tukwila lunch in a different way than any of the other lunches.  Almost everyone at the Southcenter OSF had been previously exposed to the YMV/M:51 strategy. In many ways it felt like family around the table!  My prayer for this group is that my “home” area, while teaming with Youthmark can become the true catalysts in leading their students toward something greater than a mission trip; namely raising up students who are reaching their campus, club, community and church for Jesus.

Nashville. The National Youth Workers Convention was taking place in Nashville this last weekend.  With the encouragement of my friends at YMToday.com (and Center for Youth Ministry Training), I did a last-minute marketing lunch to Nashville.  It was a joy to see the South, participate in the NYWC, meet many new ministry organizational leaders and spend great time with my wife (and my in-laws who joined us).  The Nashville OSF played host to 35 for lunch on Saturday.  Because Youthmark is a little more known in the West I literally felt the pressure of making this lunch a meet and greet and mission/training presentation in one.  On top of this, it came during the lunch break of the convention, which meant I had about 75% of the normal time and about 150% of the normal information I would give.  Though I look back and wish I would have presented a little differently, it was a GREAT learning experience and I had wonderful conversations with youth leaders from all across the South and East.  I’m praying that the door is open and that we gain momentum even this year with some churches in the South!

I’ll try to write later about some of the organizational leaders I got to meet with while in Nashville.  It was a fantastic time for Youthmark in that regard.

When it was all said and done, the week filled with three OSF lunches obviously was not enough.  Sunday night, Elisabeth’s parents and the Aaby couple decided to hit up the Spaghetti Factory one more time for dinner!  Kudos OSF, your creamy pesto salad dressing continues to score!

Grace,

Brian

Whatatotallycrazyandbusybutgoodweek!

This week seemed like a month.

Yet it seemed like a day.

Been too busy to post regularly, but I’ve had soooo much to post about.

It is crazy to think that it was only 6 days ago I was at Faith watching six people get baptized and proclaim their love for Jesus.  Seriously, that feels like it was four weeks ago.

It is hard to believe that in this last week Youthmark hosted three lunches with nearly 100 Youth Leaders/Pastors in attendance.

I can’t believe that I’ve been in the last 8 days or so I’ve been in SoCal, Seattle, Portland, Seattle and Nashville.

Each lunch seemed like it was literally just this afternoon…

The week has flown by, but seemed so long.

It has been a crazy, wonderful, busy week.  Though I’ve loved every lunch, every conversation with youth leaders, every opportunity to share Jesus (which I had 3 or 4 witness opps this last week)… I look back on this last week and not just because it was her birthday, but the highlight of this crazy end-of-the-week time has really been the time I’ve gotten with my beautiful bride, Elisabeth!  I love you Babe!

Grace,
Brian

SMS: The Most Important Things!

A couple years ago I began praying this prayer: “Lord, will you free me up to do the things you’ve most gifted me to do and the things for which I have the most passion?”

In fact, I remember it was November of 2007 I began to pray that prayer.  Though my job has changed (was a Vocational Youth Pastor then), this prayer continues to be my prayer.  Some may find it strange that I continue to pray that prayer even though I am leading an organization and more specifically, one that I started.

No, I am not looking to leave Youthmark. I simply want to continue to pray that prayer.  I believe that God has gifted me in specific ways and given me passion in specific areas, I simply want to obey Him and be used for Him.  I hope you have a similar response (and prayer).

What Would That Look Like?

If God ultimately answered that prayer, I would be freed up to write and speak.

I’d like to continue to shepherd Youth Pastors, Leaders, Parents and Teens.  I believe the most important things I could write and speak about would be along the lines of:

  • disciplEship: I’d like to see the “E” put back in this word.  I believe that many churches (and Christians) have prioritized Bible study, fellowship groups, potlucks, worship and sometimes service projects.  We’ve taught the younger generation to prioritize Youth Group, accountability partnerships, lock-ins and fundraising.  These are all things that can and sometimes should be prioritized, but what about our neighbor?  What about our co-worker?  What about our unsaved friends?  Lord, will you free me up to write and speak, but most importantly, free me up to live and speak out your love and grace to those who do not know you.
  • relational evangelism: I’d love to help students, parents, pastors, leaders… well, Christians, understand that practical, relational evangelism IS our most practical way to worship Jesus day in and day out.  To me, this is our spiritual act of worship. First, I love mission trips, but let’s be honest, it’s a lot easier to share your faith on a mission trip than it is in our own Jerusalem.  The fear-factor of being rejected  “over there” (“there” being defined as anywhere outside our own home-area) is minimized.  Being rejected for sharing Christ “there” doesn’t hurt as much as a loved-one, best friend or even a stranger rejecting you in your own town.  It should hurt everywhere! In fact, Paul describes his “fear and trembling” he had in 1 Corinthians 2.  On his mission trip to Corinth, he admits to the fear of rejection, only his fear was “fear for rejection.”  He feared that those he related with and shared the great news to, would ultimately reject that grace.  He feared for their (eternal) lives (not his).  I want to help others understand that relational evangelism (by serving, loving and sharing) is good anywhere!  I want to write and speak and live in such a way that helps others to see their neighbor, co-worker, relative and the uttermost as people who need to hear about Christ! This effort needs to be renewed, it’s not just about memorization, wrote answers and laws.  It’s about practical training that every Christian understand his/her responsibility and calling. Lord, please free me up to write and speak more effectively so that we learn to relationally and lovingly share the Gospel with all!
  • practice makes (others) perfect. I want to help people understand Scripture in such a way that they/we practice what we read.  Ultimately as we get to know the Word of God and trust in the Spirit of God we can apply the things we are learning in Scripture.  As we “practice” these things we will play a role in the lives of others.  Our motivation/call to “love God and love others” plays out in meeting the needs within the four walls and extends to the four corners!  Practicing Scripture means loving the lost.  Not just loving them by telling them they need the Gospel, but loving them by showing them how the Gospel is lived out.  To me this means meeting practical needs of others (here and abroad).  I believe in social justice causes. This comes from knowing Scripture and practicing what we read.  Meeting physical needs opens up opportunities to share the spiritual answer.  In the end, when God calls His children to Himself, they will be made perfect by the blood of the Lamb!  Our practice, could lead to Him making them perfect! Lord, would you free me up to write and speak to others about Your Word.  Your Word and Your Spirit will transform your people and ultimately reach more people with the Gospel!

You being “freed up” may look a little different than what it looks like for me.  My hope is that you’ll see the priority and emphasis as the result of my prayer is simply to glorify Him with the things He has gifted us to do!  May you be freed up to do that which is most important to Him!

Grace,

Brian

 

Just About Right.

This Sunday.

A little extra sleep.

Back to my home church after two weeks away scouting and speaking.

A total celebration in church today, the way that church should be.  Worship through fellowship, song, testimonies, prayer,  the Word and baptisms.

Family time eating lunch, watching the Hawks and a 15 minute halftime nap.

Hawks win.  No, Hawks dominate.

Coffee shop, studying the Word and writing in the hopes that God will use the written words to equip and motivate the reader to share about Him!

This Sunday is just about right!

Grace,
Brian

The Growing Gap!

Last night was a big-night at the Aaby home.  Audrey lost her second tooth in just about as many weeks!  They’re flying out faster than our bank account the Tooth Fairy’s account can handle!

Two down, many to go!

My sister is proud too!

Way to go AAA!

Grace,
Brian

Three-For-Thursday: Sadness in Seattle

If you’re not from Seattle, this post will not mean that much, but for those of us in the great Northwest and specifically the Seattle area, this post may hit home.  In light of the big news yesterday/today, I thought I’d create a ‘3-for’ that listed my top three sad days in Seattle Sports news from my perspective.

  1. The Passing of Dave Niehaus. As Buzz and I were on the freeway heading out of San Diego from our YMV lunch and a great day and half in the San Diego area Buzz received a text, “Did you hear about Dave Niehaus?”  We immediately got online (love you iPhone) and discovered Dave Niehaus had passed.  Dave Niehaus is the voice of summer in Seattle. I grew up listening to Dave’s poetic voice and overdramatized pop-fly calls, “Swung on and belted” could mean a “Grand Salami” or may have been a “can of corn” (especially as Dave grew older his judgement on such fly-balls grew a little less discerning).  We, the Seattle fans, would show much grace in these situations, in fact, we will grow to miss that more than we would have ever admitted before his untimely death.  In his death, I realize more that his name and voice are more important to Seattle than the names of Steve Largent, Ken Griffey Jr., Edgar Martinez, Gary Payton or any other famous Seattle sports-figure. I am literally teary-eyed as I type and think about turning on the radio early in the spring knowing it will not be Dave’s voice I will hear.
  2. Sonics leave. Though I’d only go to a couple games a year and a handful at most, I miss the buzz of having an NBA team.  The other night the “Fake Sonics” game from Awkwardhoma City to play against the Porland Trailblazers.  That used to be our rivalry.  Now it was nothing different than a regular season NBA game.  No hype in PDX about that game.  It was a sad day when Mr. Starbucks (Howard Schultz) sold the Sonics to an OKC businessman.  We knew how the script was going to be manipulated and how the city was going to be blamed for not providing a new $500 million arena.
  3. Washington Husky Football disciplined. The power-house that was the Washington Football program has not yet recovered from yesteryear.  When the Husky-program self-disciplined and subsequently was disciplined by the Pac-10, they began a downturn that they have yet to recover from.  Yes, there have been some glory days since, but there have not been glory years yet.  Losing Don James (the “Dog-Father”) as the face of UW Football was a much greater loss than we could have known then.  Interesting to look at now in light of the things programs have and are getting away with now compared to the accusations and smaller infractions we self-disciplined our own program for.

Because I call this blog “Three-for-Thursday” I listed three items today.  But if it were any other day the list would not include numbers 2 and 3.  I do believe losing the Sonics was huge.  I also believe that the Husky team being discplined put us on a down-turn that we’ve yet to recover from.  But those two items, to me, do not compare to the  loss of Dave Niehaus as our voice in the NW!  The economic down turn for our region in losing the Sonics and temporarily losing the Husky football prominence is far greater than losing one voice, but I will say this, for today, I’d easily trade the Sonics and 10-15 years of inconsistent Husky football play for one more call of Edgar’s Double and Griffey’s slide into home.  My-oh-My Dave, you will be missed!  Thank you for being our voice.

Grace,

Brian

Sunny San Marcos!

Tuesday afternoon Buzz Huget and I flew in to sunny Long Beach CA.  We immediately drove to In-N-Out Burger (was there any doubt that this would be our first SoCal meal?).  After a great burger we drove south to Escondido!  What a great time with the Clarks, honestly, Jerusha blessed us with probably the best pork-chops I’ve ever eaten! After dinner Buzz, Alon (newest Youthmark staffer) and I had some great discussions; local Youth Pastor and new friend, Wes Trevor joined us for some down-time.

On Wednesday we hosted 22 folk at the Old Spaghetti Factory in San Marcos for our YMV Preview lunch and presented our mission trips and the Mission51 strategy!  I really felt this group of YP’s was engaged in the discussion of how to take this beyond the one-week mission experience!  I look forward to seeing the fruit from this region!

Please be in prayer for Alon as he follows up with this great group of leaders and as he now expands to the other regions of San Diego county!

What a blessing of a trip!

Grace,
Brian

SMS: Multi-Group Events

  • Peanut Butter slathered on celery.
  • Nacho Cheese Doritos dipped in hot mustard.
  • French Fries dipped in a Wendy’s Frosty
  • Baptists, Nazarenes and Methodists dipped in a Covenant Church All-Nighter.

Odd combinations.  But ones that work really well for me.

Some churches and youth leaders are very open to doing cross-church and cross denominational events.  Others are not.  Some are open to it because they have experienced great success in the past.  I know plenty who are against the idea of doing events as a network because they’ve been burned, ignored or “had to do it all myself”  in the past.

Our Student Ministry Stuff (SMS) post today gives some practical advice on how and why larger group events/cross denominational events can work well.  In addition it should point out a few of the warning signs to avoid.

My perspective on this subject is somewhat shaped by my regional background.  In the northwest corner of the United States are a few of the most unchurched states.  We don’t do professional church very well. In my area a church is considered “big” if you have over 400 people in attendance.  A “mega” church in the northwest is a church over 1000.  Denominationalism does exists, but to a much lesser degree as I have seen it in the mountains, south and southwest. As a whole, the Youth Pastors I have dealt with in the NW are not overly concerned with theological i-dotting and t-crossing when it comes to reaching the lost students.  This is not always the case and certainly isn’t always the case when it comes to the rest of the church leadership (in other words, there are certainly some “boards” who tell their YP’s not to do events with that church because of specific stands and non-stands).

I am an advocate for teamwork, unity and multi-group/church effort, especially when it comes to reaching those who do not know Jesus.  I do believe we are better together; I’d like to see better efforts made together to reach our campuses, clubs, community and even our churches for Christ.  I really don’t care about the size of church (interesting of the “big church” often gets finger(s) pointed at them, sometimes rightfully so for thinking they have it together and sometimes wrongfully just because “they’re big).  I am simply an advocate for the Christian Community understand that we can be better together! Here’s how I think multi-church events can work better.

Relationship: I believe the best group events flow out of the relationships represented in the leadership.  Group events rarely work well when the the people leading them are not committed to each other first.  As humans (read: sinners) we’re prone to hide and blame (especially when things go wrong or difficulties arise).  When the cross-denominational leaders are first and foremost committed to the Lord and to each other and the long-term relationship it seems an agenda for an event flows out of their united hearts. As Youth Leaders get to know one another and acquaintance relationships move to Gospel-centric friendships the trust-level grows and the success level of a given event seems to rise up as well.  Bottom line: Look to do events with others as a result of the relationship not to forge a relationship.

Ownership: The best group events are the ones where ownership aspects are given to each participating group.  Recently while traveling I heard, “I don’t know why other churches don’t join us for our worship nights?  We have a great band, great sound and lighting equipment, our Youth Pastor knocked it out of the park with his message and the testimony from the homecoming queen, she goes to our church, was amazing.”  I have personally attended worship nights at other churches to check it out, at times it has felt like more of an effort to sheep-steal than “group worship night.”  I’ve seen camps, retreats, youth rally’s and worship nights work really well for group situations –the common denominator has always been “group ownership.”  I’ve seen many camps, retreats, missions, youth rally’s and worship nights fall flat as well; the common denominator in these settings has typically been single-church ownership. Take the “worship night” example.  Church A has the great worship band, equipment, setting, etc.–let them head up the event and host the event.  Church B can provide the person giving the testimony while Church C does the “upfront” skit, game or artwork.  Church D has a very talented keyboardist and soloist who provide the background music during an alter call?  Guess what, church E, which is much smaller, decided to participate by simply bringing the large Igloo containers full of Tang!  Well, we now had 5 churches participating and each had ownership. The same can be done with camps, rally’s or missions… transportation, speaking, worship, shirt-design, games, etc. can all be divided so that ownership is created!  Bottom line: You may have a GREAT event in mind but if you’re the only one who owns the event your group is probably the only group that will attend the event.

Simplicity: Know the primary purpose of any group setting and keep it simple and focussed. Understand that theological bents may prevent you from doing some events (dances, worship concerts where “tongues” is encouraged, even communion and baptism could be issues that bring theological division).  Doing an “overnighter” where the purpose is to bring unchurched friends into a setting where the unbeliever can see Christians have a lot fun together is a simple purpose.  In this setting the leadership should decide together if and who will be speaking and what the message will be (I will always suggest the Gospel be the focus).  I’ve seen groups get in trouble when they’ve tried to take on “training” events in cross-denominational settings.  Who is the speaker?  What theology will he or she bring?  What is their view on the end-times?  Keeping things simple and focussed with a single purpose of “outreach,” “encouragement,” “worship” or “service” has seemed to bring about more success than more complex purposes.  Bottom Line: If you’re aiming at nothing, you’re bound to hit it.  Know the primary purpose of a group event and be clear in communicating that purpose before, during and after.

Keeping group events simple, giving ownership to each group involved flowing out of already existing relationships of the leadership should lead to greater unity in the larger Christian community.  As I read 1 Corinthians 12 and see how the Lord has formed the body to work together I am greatly encouraged and see how we, even cross denominationally, can better glorify Jesus as we are freed up to do that which he has equipped and gifted us to do!

Grace,

Brian

600 Club!

Blog post #600!

A lot has happened in the last 2 and half years, I am happy to say that a lot of my life (and Youthmark’s life) has been recorded in this online journal format.

Just a fun little survey to find out what you like best about the blog… So, if there is anything you’re particularly fond of, pick it (multiple selections are possible).

Thanks for stopping by, I hope you continue to stop by! Here’s to the next 600 posts.

Grace,
Brian