Category Student Ministry Stuff (SMS)

SMS: “Student Leader” a Dangerous Title (pt. 1)

Brian Aaby 7 Comments

I was at the mid-season of my youth-pastorate career, I had just arrived at my new church; my first Sunday was going to begin my assessment of the youth ministry.  The volunteer team was to lead all the normally scheduled events so that the new Associate Pastor could see what he was inheriting.  Conventional wisdom advises assessing a new ministry for a few weeks, not making changes for several months and getting your entire team on board so that eventual changes are owned by everyone.

So here I was, my first Sunday at the new church…

Staff prayer… check.

Sunday School… check.

“Student Leader” Lunch… chuck!

Not a typo… I wanted to chuck that baby out the window right away.

Let me start by saying I am not a fan of the title “Student Leader.” I had come in to this new position with that bias already in place.  But everything I saw that day confirmed that conclusion.

Understanding that the vast majority of the readers of this article have a “student leader team” I know I may be swimming up against a white-water wall not worth treading. However, maybe, just maybe, it will cause a few to think about handing out the title “student leader” just because you feel you need to have a student leader team.

I also understand a “counterpoint” can be made for about every argument I can give to not having a student leader team; with that said, I’m very open to those discussions, this is not a hill to die on nor is it something worth splitting those last few youth-pastor hairs over.

Let me state the obvious… there IS such a thing as a STUDENT LEADER.  Even as I write this I look back on my years of pastoring and can identify scores of students who were truly gifted as leaders in my groups.  They were the ones who easily could draw, inspire and move a group of their peers in a godly direction.  And better yet, they did this without the title of Student Leader.

Let me state the not-so-obvious… student leadership is more effective without the title! I believe there are inherent problems with giving the title of student leader and further believe that not giving the title creates a better atmosphere for your group.  Let me quickly give three reasons why I believe a student leader title is dangerous.

  1. “I’ve Arrived”: The Student Leader often feels he or she has arrived. Title is power.  I have seen this too often, when a student is given the title of “leader” and they see that as a power position rather than a service position.  This was the case in the church I described above. The youth group of 150 or so had a student leadership meeting of about 40 students.  Pizza was served, students sat in cliques and argued about what the next event was going to be and when it would take place.  They referred to “the kids” in the group and which event would be the most fun.  In my first three months at this church, the events would typically draw 50% of the student leadership team in attendance with anywhere from five to ten others at the event.
  2. “Burn Out”: The Student Leader often burns out early.  Student government, cheer, club or athletic team captain–it seems that students are bombarded with the challenge to strive for leadership. With the title comes expectation to perform.  “As a leaders you’re expected to do this, that and the other.”  I am not saying that we should get rid of all titles, but I think we often create performance-based spirituality that can lead to burn out (emotional and spiritual) when we give students titles.  In addition, students who are given such titles in their younger years (freshman/sophomore) are often so burned out by the time they are seniors that not only are they no longer leaders, they are often completely gone from the youth group.
  3. “In The Minors”: The rest of the group often feels like they’re in the minor league of the group (it breeds unhealthy spiritual competition).  When students hear “student leadership” what comes to their minds?  I have asked this question and in the youth ministry sphere, the person who comes to mind for a teen is the student with a guitar and/or a good voice, or the boisterous upfront peer (the one most likely to lead games, be in the skit, or rally her team to a dodgeball victory).  What about the servant leader? The private prayer warrior? The guy who is looking out for the loner who walks through the door or the kid who likes doing all the menial administrative tasks with you leading into youth group night?  These students are just as valuable as the upfront and boisterous, but are often made to feel that they are in the minors compared to the teen who wears the Major League badge of Student Leader.

Instead of Student Leaders, shouldn’t we be affirming students in their areas of gifts and strength?  Student leadership will be raised and judged by the quality of student and his or her giftedness and not in title.  If he is a student leader, you will know because others follow him based on skills or example.  If she is a leader, you’ll know not because of the title, but by her actions.

Jesus didn’t name his disciples as “leaders,” he actually called them to be “followers” (Mark 8:34-35).  Let’s lead by being the best followers of Christ and call others to follow Him (and us) closely and make a sharp turn toward the cross!

Stay tuned (or take heart, for those who do have a SL team), next week I’ll speak to the practical ways you can use students in your ministry while avoiding the possible pitfalls I listed above!

Grace,

Brian

Three-For-Thursday & SMS: Hindsight for Personal Care

Brian Aaby 3 Comments

We were graciously gifted an XM Satellite radio subscription a couple years ago, typically I am listening to ESPN radio, the DP show and occasionally “The Message.” That is, unless my kids are in the car.  When they get in the car the request line is open, and the request is always, “Daddy, can we listen to Radio Disney?”

The request is pretty much always granted.

Just the other day while taking my kids on a daddy/kid date, we left our house 6:30 for our picnic.  As the car started and the channel changed to Disney there was a song playing that my kids had obviously heard before, Selena Gomez “A Year Without Rain.” They grooved and moved to the beat and sang out the chorus like I may do an old Mili Vanilli Classic (I’m kidding…I promise!).

We enjoyed our time at the park munching down the pizza (thank you Little Caesars for the $5 date) and playing on the monkey bars, fishy bounce, slides and swings.  Then we were back in the car by 7:20.  Guess what was on Radio Disney?  Yep, Selena Gomez “A Year Without Rain.”

Now I know why my kids know this song.  They hear it three to five times a day even though they only have the radio on for 10 minutes.

What does this have to do with a 3-for-Thursday and/or an SMS Post?

As I have struggled to find time to post this week, I have had a number of conversations with Youth Leaders who have reminded me of some of the repetitive messages I wish I would have heard as often as my kids hear a popular song on Radio Disney.  Repetition etches something into memory.  Today’s “three” create a list of three things I wish I would have heard more often in my ministry yesteryears. Three messages I hope the younger generation of the Youth Leader family can not just memorize but live out.

  1. Have an Outside Mentor. We are called to make disciples, but keep in mind, this means you were “made” and you were made to be discipled to so that you can make disciples.  After becoming a Youth Pastor (or even as volunteer youth leader) it is easy to just pour in to others.  Just a few years ago (after 16 years of Youth Ministry) I finally sought out someone who would intentionally look out for me and mentor me (even at a distance).  I suggest you find someone who is outside your immediate sphere, someone specifically outside of your church and perhaps even out of your ministry circles.  Think about it this way; a person who commutes from the suburbs to downtown for work will turn on the radio to hear from “Chopper Dave” who identifies the traffic patterns, warns of blockage and identifies the best routes.  Why not have a “Chopper Dave” in your life? Seek out a person with whom you can be completely honest and is able to identify patterns and warn of upcoming hazzards.
  2. Take Your Day Off! I remember one summer that I worked something like 58 days straight without a day off.  I just knew that the Senior Pastor would notice the incredible work being done.  I was convinced that the elders would be blown away by my work ethic and give me that much deserved raise.  The reality is, it was a great summer, much was done and kids did grow a lot… but I was the only one celebrating the 58 days straight.  Sr. Pastor didn’t notice.  Elders were completely unaware and my pay check didn’t change at all. What scared me the most was at the end of that streak and the kick-off of our fall programming (and maintaining a crazy fall schedule) I went to the National Youth Workers Convention, took their advice and skipped a seminar or two to intentionally have down time.  I had NO idea how to take down time.  My mind was so accustomed to being busy, always thinking that I literally didn’t know what to do for “down time.”  So, young leader (even if you’re unmarried), take time to yourself.  This call is a lot easier to remember if you listened to the first piece of advice above (mentor).
  3. Stick to Your Primary Position/Job/Calling. This could also be titled “learn to say no.”  If you need to be at the elder meeting, go.  If you must be part of that committee, do it. If it is required for you to lead four different ministry teams, so be it. If you are required to preach once a month, then you better do it.  However, too often, I see Youth Pastors (eh-hem, I saw myself) doing these things voluntarily.  Here’s something novel, if your primary calling is to be the Youth Pastor, do that.  Work well with students, staff and parents as your numbers 1-3 priorities (and these priorities should be about equal).  Again, I see YP’s doing what I often did–trying to have a voice at the table, sit on that board or try to be in front of the people as much as possible– this actually leads to not being able to fulfill your primary calling.  Again, sometimes these things are required (but may be something you can negotiate out of your position description).

Each of these three should certainly be better developed, I have a lot to say, but I am going to stick to my own advice here and call it a post. I have much to do and blogging is not my primary calling!  However, I will try to post a few more times about these important matters, because after all, repetition could mean that others will commit it to memory! If you’re interested in talking about any of these in a comment or would like to hear more about any of these specifics, don’t hesitate to contact me!

Grace,
Brian

SMS: The Hopper

Brian Aaby 3 Comments

This blog post is really a request for future blog posts, read below and see if you can help…

It has seemed the clock has been moving at a faster pace and that the calendar pages turn even quicker these days.  I hate to use the overused word “busy” because it seems everyone uses it; so I’ll just say that my days have been filled and I’ve found little margin to do a lot of writing for the blog.  That’s okay, this is not my number one priority.  With that said, I love doing it, but there are times when I know the SMS post is going to require more of me than I can give at that time, thus, THE REQUEST…

Right now I have about seven different Student Ministry Stuff (SMS) Post titles ready to be written; however, most of them are subjects that I know will need a bit of development.  My hope is that you can help me come up with even more subjects for the hopper (those waiting to be written).  Right now I have subjects like: Youth Leaders and Campus Investment; Youth Pastors and How to Spend Your Working Hours; When Saying “Yes” is Saying “No” (and vice versa); The Rookie years of Youth Pastoring (age 20-24); The “Experienced” Years of Youth Pastoring (age 25-28); The Veteran Years  of Youth Pastoring (Age 29+).

What are some other subjects you’d suggest I tackle in the weeks to come and/or which ones of the above would you most like to see me tackle?

Looking forward to finishing up a few major projects so that I can develop some of these SMS thoughts!

Grace,
Brian

“All In”

Brian Aaby Leave a comment

I remember laughing the first time I saw a live Poker Tournament being televised on ESPN.  I mean, c’mon, seriously, who would watch Poker on TV, isn’t that like watching paint-dry, or worse, viewing a bowling match?

Well, they had me at “the river card.”  I don’t know why, but Texas Hold ‘Em had me hooked as I watched some guy with the last name of “Moneymaker”  win millions of dollars… SIDENOTE:  Chris Moneymaker is his real name.

Well, here we are, seven years after viewing my first ever “Main Event” and having seen many people go “All In” on TV, I am speaking this weekend where the retreat theme is “All In.”  It’s a fantastic theme to build around.  Jesus own words explain the theme well, “if anyone wants to come after me, he must deny himself, pick up his cross and follow me.”  In other words: if we want to be followers of Jesus, we must go all in.”

  • Stephen, he’s a guy who went all in… I love when he, in Acts 7, rebukes the Sanhedrin and says, “you stiff necked people…You always resist the Holy Spirit.”
  • Peter was a gambler with his tongue, he sometimes went all in (cutting off a dudes ear) sometimes for the wrong things; but ultimately, was the one who went all in in speaking up after Jesus ascended.
  • The Ethiopian in Acts 8, all in.
  • Priscilla and Aquila, a couple we read about in the early days of the church… they were all in.

In the post-apostolic age we read of and see many others (and know many more) who are all in for the Gospel.  Are you?

What does it mean to be all in?

This weekend we’re going to explore that with the students from Lake Sawyer Christian.

I think Paul gives us a great hint at part of what it means to be all in; Romans 1:16 says, “I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes.”  I believe it, am growing in boldness to proclaim it and try to live in light of it for His glory and so that others may know Him!

Going all in!

Grace,
Brian

SMS & Three-For-Thursday: Combos Worth Trying

Brian Aaby 1 Comment

You’ve heard of steak & eggs; Pork chops and applesauce and a myriad of other combos that at first don’t seem like they should go together, but in reality are great fits.

I have some unique food combos I really enjoy, like, Pepperoni Pizza with Tapatio Mexican hot sauce on it.  Or the one that turns many heads, mustard on my french fries (I LOVE it)!

So, it’s Thursday, which means I typically post a “Three-For-Thursday” list.  However, it is also getting to be late in the week and I have yet to post my normally early-in-the-week, “Student Ministry Stuff” (SMS) post.  So here we go, another combo worth trying.

Today the Three-For-Thursday/SMS post is about three combos worth trying in Student Ministry.

  1. Retreats or Missions with other Churches: I’m talking about intentionally doing a camp, retreat or mission trip with other churches in your immediate area (not necessarily talking about a Conference Center pre-programmed mass-camp, though this certainly isn’t a bad thing).  Perhaps out of your network you can get three or four of the Youth Pastors to plan a retreat together.  Obviously there is a lot to consider because of theological i-dotting and t-crossing differences between the churches, but let’s be honest, most students do not find themselves in heated debates over dispensational or covenantal theology (I know some adults who should learn a lot from these students).  The advantages of doing a combo retreat on occasion (notice I am not saying to do this all the time) far outweigh the negatives, especially when you’re hand selecting your partners.  Students who get to fellowship, worship and grow together at a camp, will then see each other on their campuses, in their clubs on their fields and within the community.  I’ve done many-a-mission and camp with my youth pastorate family; it’s been so fun to see the gifts/strengths augment the weaknesses as the body came together in leadership!
  2. The Sacred and Secular! The word “secular” can have such a negative connotation; “oh my, you listen to SECULAR music?”  Hmm, yep.  And guess what, I’m not a satan worshipper.  I realize, the majority of people reading this blog would never take issue with secular music (keeping in mind, that yes, there is bad stuff that should be avoided), however, music is not really the point of this point.  My suggestion really is trying to answer the question of how we can take the Gospel out of the four walls of the church.  First, I believe that YOU need to model the Sacred/Secular combo.  I suggest for you paid youth workers to maintain a secular presence (be on campus, office at coffee shops, coach at a school, get a p/t job in a secular setting).  Next, I’d ask, how can you get your group into a secular setting?  One of my favorite ways I have done this was something we did when I served as an Associate Pastor in Phoenix. We’d rent out Seattle’s Best Coffee for the two hours after their official “close” time on Saturday, essentially keeping them open until 10:0o PM instead of 8:00 PM.  Because it was officially a “private party” we were able to do mini-concerts and our students would pack the place out & bring non-Christian friends.  I arranged for SBC to offer 1/2 price drinks to everyone and then we suggested everyone tip a buck to the baristas (literally in two hours the baristas would often walk out with $50 each).  People from the public would come in seeing that SBC was hopping, our Christian kids would engage them.  Baristas were blessed by great tips and the students would sing their hearts out and testify about their faith in Christ.  If you’re interested in this idea, please contact me, I can tell you how I arranged this with the coffee shop… believe me, this was a HUGE ministry opportunity, where we did see salvation take place!
  3. Mission Trips and Missional Life (What Youthmark calls “Mission51”). Okay, so this could be seen as a cheap plug, but I will unashamedly speak about the idea of Mission51 (living on mission not just on a trip, but the other 51 weeks as well)!  Don’t know why it happened/happens, but the church does a great job of glorifying the mission trip and typically does a poor job of emphasizing “our own Jerusalem.”   Missions has been seen as “over there” instead of “everywhere, including over there.”  Years ago, I decided to combine our mission trip training with our every-week Sunday School.  I know that not every student is going to go on our mission trip, but if I believe the training for the mission trip is important, then it better be something I am doing for everyone in our group, not just the mission team.   This is something at Youthmark that we have made a HUGE improvement for this coming year.  Our new 2011 training package does WAY better in streamlining the the training process to include the Youth Group (and even the parents) in the process, not just the mission team, because, after all, we are all on Mission!  I can’t wait to preview these materials in about a month!

Hope the combos I offered stir up some thoughts for you, one thing I can guarantee, these combos are WAY better than Orange Juice after brushing your teeth!

Grace,
Brian

SMS: An Open Letter To Parents

Brian Aaby 2 Comments

Dear Parents of Teens,

I can’t pretend to speak for all Youth Leaders, but having been involved with Student Ministries for nearly two complete decades (16 years of which I was a Youth Pastor),  I think I speak for most when I say our friendship, and our partnership (between parents and youth leaders) ought to be stronger.  After all, we have something in common, we both love your kid!

My hope in writing this “open letter” is that I can lend my voice to what I hope can become a vibrant relationship in your local student ministry setting(s).  I am of the firm belief that the student ministry landscape could change dramatically if parents and leaders prioritized relationship and partnership with one another.  I’m not suggesting you become best friends with your son’s small group leader or that you look to take the Youth Pastor on your family vacation, but I will give you (the parent) some practical suggestions as to how to be proactive in this needed relationship.

Unfortunately many Youth Leaders (paid or volunteer) are intimidated by parents; it may be because so many youth leaders are young and figure they are perceived (deserved or undeserved) as being unwise, full of energy, flakey, exuberant and sometimes a threat to the parent/child relationship.  The reality is, many young youth leaders are unwise, exuberant and the like, and just like your child needs a mentor, so do many most, of us. Even older youth leaders are often intimidated by parents, they don’t want to step on toes, get in the way or be perceived as trying to do something that is intended for the parent/child relationship.  But, that’s our problem (as youth leaders), we need to get over these perceptions and do the work of relating to parents for the sake of the kids!

But, this letter is written to you, parent.  So, if I may, I’d love to give you a few suggestions as to how this relationship may improve or get even stronger (because I do want to recognize, there are MANY great relationships out there too).

  1. Pray for them (and let them know you’re praying for them).  In Matthew 9, Jesus tells His disciples to ask the Lord of the harvest for harvest workers.  Well, these youth leaders are an answer to prayer!  Though they aren’t perfect, they are striving for Godliness and are seeking to influence your child for Christ.  Praise God for them and constantly lift them up in your prayers.  What would it look like for YOU to gather other parents once or twice a year just for the purpose of praying for the Youth Staff (paid and volunteer)?  How encouraging would it be to the youth leader or team to know that they were being covered corporately and as individuals?
  2. Give to them.  A note of encouragement in the mail, on a facebook wall or strategically placed on a youth leaders front door will often propel that leader in ways unimaginable.  Giving may even mean something physical.  Dinner.  A coffee card.  A paid-for date-night (even with babysitting!!!!).  Your small gift may be the exact encouragement he or she needed to get over the hump after a season of discouragement in the ministry. Side Note: Don’t ever underestimate the power of two words “thank” and “you.”  These words are often forgotten and these youth leaders who labored all weekend at the retreat, all week on the mission or all year at small group are worthy of you going out of your way to give them those precious words, “thank you.”
  3. Ask of them. You parent, can be, should be and are the “expert” when it comes to your teen (at least we hope that you’re striving for that deep relationship), however, youth leaders are often pretty darn wise when it comes to knowing teens as a whole.  So, let’s let this tension exist, leaders should become experts in teenagedom and parents can be experts about their teens.  Therefore, we need to learn from one another.  So, ask your son or daughter’s leader about teens, even ask about your own child.  Be mindful that these leaders (young or old) are building trust with your child and need to guard that trust, but I think you’ll find more often than not, they may have insights that will prove very helpful to you understanding teens (and even your own son or daughter) more.  Ultimately in asking of them, you’re relating to them and becoming more of a unified team.

As parents begin to pray for, give to and ask of the current flock of youth leaders, I believe not only with the Lord be glorified, but we’ll see better discipleship take place.  We’ll see lost students (and lost parents) be found as we see the church functioning as Christ instructed.

So parents I end with this… thank you for doing what you do and the efforts you make with your kids.  Your job is often THE MOST thankless job in the world.  I am going to pray for you more faithfully, thank you more frequently and seek your wisdom more often!

Grace,

Brian

Three-For-Thursday: Unique Ministry/Business Partners

Brian Aaby 2 Comments

In 16 years as a Youth Pastor and now a couple years as President of Youthmark, I have received scores of calls asking “do you have a _______ connection?”  You fill in the blank: T-shirt, graphics, computer, camp, speaker, band, etc.

The longer you stay in youth ministry the more phone calls like this you will receive.  Now that I’ve been in the field for nearly 20 years, I get these types of calls/texts/emails weekly.

So, I thought I’d give you three of my favorite “connections” that you could think about using if you find you have a need.  Call it a free plug for them, but, I’d rather call it a wise move for you.

It was extremely difficult to narrow the list to just three, so I decided to make my list specific to the unique needs we have at Youthmark (so these could be good for others who have a business, or be a great connection for those ministry).

  1. Graphic Design: We use a couple different graphic designers at Youthmark.  One is more connected through the publishing ventures with Spire; I really like this one too, however, I am especially thrilled whenever I get to work with Peter Beringer and PeterB Designs (peterbdesigns.com).  Peter is based in Colorado Springs and is a gifted designer.  If you’re looking for new logos, icons, a t-shirt design, book or album cover, or something as simple as new business cards, you ought to get in touch with PeterB Designs.  For those familiar with Youthmark’s merch, the very popular “Live and Love Loudly” and “Mission51” designs came from PeterB Designs.  Contact information is on the website (as well as samples of his work).  Peter is a great friend, he served with me in youth ministry for years and will give you very competitive (read: more than fair) rates.
  2. Apparel: The two most common calls I get from Youth Pastors when it comes to referrals are: “Do you know of any churches hiring” and “do you have a t-shirt guy?”  We can deal with the first question in an SMS blog-post later, but I am proud to say that I do have a great t-shirt guy.  For the last couple years I have been contracting with Norwest Graphics (norwestgraphics.com).  They are based in South Seattle (but can ship, so no matter where you are you’ll get a good deal).  Kevin Padon is the owner; I would suggest that if you’re looking to do a shirt, sweatshirt or something else with him that you mention I suggested you contact him… I think it will lead to a good quote!  It is “who you know” in some industries.  They can do a design for you or you can submit your own artwork.  Again, those familiar with Youthmark apparel, the quality hooded sweatshirts and t-shirts have come from our connection with Norwest.
  3. Audio/Visual: This has become a pretty big area of need for me since starting Youthmark and I have NO expertise in this area.  Besides knowing the minimum about a sound board and how to plug a computer into a video projector I walked into the event side of Youthmark pretty blindly.  Fortunately, I have a friend in Impulse Audio (which also does video).  David May is the owner of this business and he works so well with his clients.  Dave has gotten me really great deals on my video projector and several small components needed for our business.  If you have sound or video needs for your small business, non-profit or church, Impulse Audio Inc. should be a place you check out. Contact: David at dave[at]impulseaudiovideo[dot]com; 206.650.0075.

It’s been a pleasure to work with each of these three businesses as they have played a critical role in the success of Youthmark thus far.  I hope they can help you in your business, personal life and/or ministries!

Grace,
Brian

SMS: Killing Sunday School?

Brian Aaby 10 Comments

Want To Kill Your Sunday School Program?

Before your Christian Education Committee organizes a blog-ban or a book-burning bonfire in my honor (or before you invite me to a celebration bar-b-cue on my behalf) let me explain…

Busy students don’t need more, they often need better.  Sometimes less is more.

Again, this is not a call to kill Sunday School, in fact, it may be that you need to really put some great effort into improving it.  It could be that you actually need to kill your mid-week program in order to offer deeper connection and community through small groups? Or perhaps your small groups are so small they can’t even be measured, maybe it is time to retire these?  Bottom line, as I have examined the Student Ministry landscape, a lot of Youth Leaders are struggling with student-commitment levels, and we may be part of the problem.  Rather than just blaming the likes of parents, clubs, sports, school, facebook, gaming and premature dating, I’d suggest we look to be part of the solution.

One key find in my research is that Youth Ministry programs that concentrate on two of the major three elements are typically finding a greater percentage of student participation than those offering all three.

What are the Majors?

Sunday School, Youth Group (mid-week) and Small Groups seem to be the most common elements that make up a Student Ministry program (so these are the three I call “majors).

In my quick study for this post with 10 youth ministry leaders, I found that 90% who were offering all three wanted to get rid of Sunday School.  The other church does not offer mid-week “youth group.”

“A Dead Horse Can’t Race”

One person (who asked not to be named) said, “I’m under a lot of pressure from people to ‘educate’ our students about Christianity, but the Sunday School model is not working… it’s like trying to get a dead horse to race in the Kentucky Derby.”

I faced a similar situation in my last Youth Pastorate.  We were offering all three majors. However, upon my arrival it was evident that students were very inconsistent in attendance at all three.  Instead of making the ask that everyone (including an overworked youth staff) make the commitment to be at everything, we decided to place our largest emphasis on two elements.  Though it wasn’t the most popular decision, I placed our emphasis on Sunday School and on mid-week small groups (and developing my leadership team to disciple students).

Our Sunday School Program (we called “The Gathering”) had a group discipleship emphasis (essentially it was “church for teens”).  Our small groups were grade/gender specific discipleship groups that had an emphasis on accountability, sharing, praying together and studying the Bible so that we could live out our faith.  Our mid-week program was our “outreach” time where the Christian students could freely bring their unchurched friends so those who have not heard the Gospel could be presented the Good News.

Christian Entertainment Industry

In the years I served at this specific church our small groups grew dramatically (as did our youth staff).  Our Sunday School grew even more.  However, our mid-week program needed to be killed.  We shut it down, it had become a gathering of Christians (the same kids who were at Sunday School and in our small groups). Our students were not inviting non-Christian friends to come and hear the Gospel. I felt we were simply entertaining the masses.  We’d have students say, “it seems like the messages are always the same, it’s always about the cross, we’re bored, we need to go deeper” (keep in mind the purpose of the mid-week program was to present the Gospel to the lost).  Any time a staff member did change up his or her message and went “deep” we were bound to have someone say, “see, this is why I can’t bring my unchurched friend, that message would have been over his head and would have offended him.”

What Would It Look Like?

Dream a little.  What would it look like for you to help students, family and staff by placing an emphasis on two of the majors (you decide which two) and see if you may not be able to still accomplish the major goals of your program?  For the sake of suggestion, here is what I could see happen if you cancelled any one of the majors:

  1. Mid-Week Youth Group. Students are busy with sports, clubs, family commitments and homework.  In fact, many students are already involved with para-church youth groups (FCA, Athletes-in-Action, Young Life, Youth For Christ, etc.), what if you supported them and pushed them to be involved with these things as their outreach outlet?  Being free on a weeknight might allow you more contact time, allow you to go to a small group with other adults, or give you valuable time to raise your family.
  2. Small Groups. If you are one who struggles to recruit adult leaders getting rid of your small group ministry may free you up to pour into individual students rather than coaching leaders who really aren’t ready to be leading (or free you up for a season to get leaders ready to lead).
  3. Sunday School. Not having a Sunday morning traditional Sunday School would often allow students the opportunity to serve in the children’s ministry program, music program, attend service with family, or (if offered) participate in an adult Sunday School class.

Of course there are many other tweaks and possibilities.  I have seen Youth Groups successfully transition to Sunday mornings being the time for student small groups (or even outreach).  I have seen groups make their mid-week Youth Group a time for outreach to be followed by an hour of small group for those who want to go deeper. You need to take into account what will work best for your group, your leaders and the parents of your teens.  The answer may be to simply re-focus each of these elements or even to add something new.

For those who are struggling with the low or inconsistent attendance; to those of you who are contemplating making a “major” change, let me conclude by saying, don’t do this on your own.  Dream, scheme and pray with others about these decisions.  The key is to get better by possibly offering less.

Be free, let’s go kill it!

Grace,

Brian

Three-For-Thursday: Bang for the Small Bucks

Brian Aaby 3 Comments

The idea of creating a personal cost saving list came to me a long time ago, but I never got around to creating the post. Now that the Top 5 Tuesday has been reformatted, changed days and lost a couple points to become Three-For-Thursday I believe NOW is the time to go for it on the most bang for the buck idea.   No special reasoning for NOW, just because…

So, today we’ll look at the best ways that I have tried to save some cash in small ways.  These can obviously be adapted for your setting.

Side note to those in ministry: Over the years I have also seen many ministry cost-saving moves that have lacked integrity.  Be sure you are checking copyright laws before borrowing, ripping and using materials owned by others (music, books, video curriculum).  Even intellectual properties or things you heard should be credited to the original author (too often I hear an opening illustration that I KNOW didn’t happen to the person speaking because I heard the same detailed illustration earlier that week in a podcast).

So, here you go, three small cost-saving (and I believe integrity intact) tips for you.

  1. The Coffee Shop (and the free refill)! Many are amazed that I am able to “office” out of my local coffee shops.  Well, part of the reason I do this has to do my desire to build relationship within the community I live/work.  However, part of it also has to do with the “low rent” aspect.  I have a small office at my house, but with three little ones and an endless list of stuff that I can/should be doing for the house, yard, etc. it is often hard to concentrate on work while at home.  So, I head offsite to my caffeine-laden office.  An office-space that costs me less than $100/month.  Think about it this way, my most common drink is a 20 oz (hot or cold) sugar-free hazelnut drip coffee with a half inch of non-fat milk.  My second most common drink is a large iced-tea (unsweetened, no added water, of course).  Both of these drinks cost me less than $3.  The beauty of these drinks, they both typically come with free refills as well (even at the Mothership, as long as you have a registered Starbucks card).  So here’s the strategy for me laid out in an example: I will go to a nearby Starbucks in the morning and order my iced drink, perhaps get a couple hours of work in and as I leave for lunch I will refill (but not drink it).  I arrive at home for lunch, place said drink in the fridge, then eat lunch, workout, shower and then head out for a new Starbucks with the refilled drink in hand (therefore, no need to order another drink).
  2. Sharing Fast Food (especially fries)! I discovered years ago when preparing for a Youth Staff dinner that I was providing that the $.99 menu can be a Youth Pastor’s best friend.  However, I made the mistake of ordering about double the amount that I needed.  Knowing that I eat a couple small burgers, large fries and a large drink, I knew that not everyone would eat like me, so I ordered about 1.5 sandwiches per person, an order of small fries for everyone and then went to a grocery store to get two liter bottles of Coke.  When I arrived at the church I emptied all the fries into a large bowl and the sandwiches onto a tray.  It was hilarious to see how much was left over.  Literally half the fries were left, because when people put fries on a plate on their own they only grab a handful to fill the space left.  Everyone pretty much grabbed just the one sandwich as well.  So… some of the time when we go out for fast food now, we don’t even order anything for Will (my 2 year old son), he eats bits of everybody else’s food, and I won’t order fries for myself, knowing that I can finish off the leftovers from the kids.  A $25 outing for fast food for our family has easily changed to $15-$17.
  3. Date-Night Exchange. Okay, so this one is just a theory that we have not yet practiced, but want to.  We want to serve others in our life-situation (small kids, small budget) by providing free babysitting for the parents who need a date.  And selfishly, we’d love the reciprocal as well.  Some folk have the benefit of free babysitting from family, friends, neighbors (in fact we have this to some extent), but those “regulars” need a break too.  We’d love to serve a couple by providing babysitting just so they can get the much needed one to three hour break.  I know that for Elisabeth and me, sometimes that hour and half to grab a coffee, dessert and/or walk goes a long way for the reset sanctity button, but we have a hard time justifying spending $20 on babysitting just to get away for a couple hours together.  Though we do love blessing young adult babysitters from time to time (and this is a great choice), there are times where it would be more beneficial for all to do the free-route and bless our kids with a play date as well!  Anyone game?

There ya go, three more for this Thursday. Time for me to get my refill so I can go home to eat lunch before heading back to work… You have any cost-savings pointers?

Grace,
Brian

SMS: Take a Break!

Brian Aaby 3 Comments

We all want a break, right?  In fact, a popular advertising campaign used to tell us we all deserved one.  Well, I agree, and I have a radical proposition for you: your entire ministry deserves a break.  Today.  It’s an art I don’t see practiced as much as I think it should: taking an intentional break from your youth ministry.  But I believe the benefits are far-reaching on both personal and corporate levels.

This is really a post for Youth Leaders and their volunteer teams, but I think parents and students would be wise to read and support this wild and crazy philosophy!  Here is my theory: Youth Ministry “Program” as we call it should not be a 52 week program.  Like a school calendar, I believe there needs to be some natural breaks in our programmatic year.  Most Youth Ministries get a Sunday morning off for Easter and maybe one because of a congregational meeting or other schedule conflict. On top of this, an occasional mid-week program is cancelled because of weather, a missions night or some other rare phenomenon.  I challenge you, on top of these few breaks you should take the last 2-3 weeks of the summer (August) off from ALL regular (and even irregular) youth ministry events.  I am not saying “take a vacation,” I am saying, take an intentional youth ministry program break.

Go ahead! Shut off the lights to the Youth Room! Lock the doors to your small group meeting room/house! Cancel two Sunday morning gatherings (aka “Sunday School”) and keep the Youth Program Calendar clear from about August 20 to Labor Day (or some other 12-15 day stretch before you “kick off” your fall programming).  Again, let me reiterate, this is NOT A VACATION.  In fact, if you’re smart, you’ll take your vacation at a different time of the year so that you feel you’re truly getting a break from everything then.  Take note in regard to my above challenge, I didn’t talk about taking a break from relationship: the bottom line, this may be your best time for relationship!  This is about creating space for a number of things to happen.  Here is why I believe you should do this:

  1. It Gives Your Team The Rest They Need/Deserve. Many Youth Pastors/Directors have been blessed with a faithful volunteer team.  Giving everyone the last couple weeks of the summer off from everything will give these volunteers the down time they need to rest; perhaps they’ll have a rare-Sunday morning sleep in (because they miss Sunday school, they may just come to the later service, if at all)?  The Wednesday night break may give that husband and wife duo an added date-night or the mommy-volunteer the opportunity to tuck her younger kids in on an evening when she would typically be serving the teen kids of other parents.  These little blessings go a long way in the life of a volunteer leader.
  2. It Creates A Need. Food, clothing, shelter… for that matter, air.  These are the things that we all take for granted. Admittedly, these things are far more important than a Youth Group night, however we don’t often recognize something until it goes missing.  Taking a two to three week break from Youth Ministry program will actually create the want/desire/need again.  Students, staff and even chauffeur/parents will come back with great anticipation when you kick-off your fall programming because they will have missed what went missing, which leads to the last point…
  3. It Tills the Soil For Change. I believe that youth ministry programming needs to constantly be evolving.  Stagnancy is toxic.  Recently, in Hawaii, we were advised to not swim in a fresh-water stream that led to the ocean because of a parasite that lives in all of these streams; the cause–stagnant water.  Stagnancy (non-change, no current, etc.) happens in ministry as well.  It is really easy to say (and believe) that you (the Youth Leader) want to see change take place in your program, it is another thing to make change happen (for some reason the church really doesn’t like change)–side note to the church: read Acts!!! change happened.  I believe the Youth Leader might find that this two to three week break gives him/her the time to think through creative ways to make the changes that are necessary.  Kicking off the new program year gives the opportunity to implement change (perhaps as simple as adding/subtracting 15 minutes or as complex as changing the night and times completely).  The break gives the Leader opportunity to build individual buy-in and ownership with students, parents and/or leaders while enjoying a cup of Coffee or a lunch together.  Keeping things fresh in ministry breeds fresh soil for seeds to be planted and new life to begin.

Over ALL of this is a spiritual emphasis.  This (break) can easily be justified as Biblical.  May a break from the norm draw us all in to a place of prayer, deeper study, soul searching and renew a vigor for the ministry that Jesus has called us to!

If a break is not what you have on your calendar already, it may be too late to try this year, but then again, maybe this was exactly the encouragement you needed to implement what you feel you need? Understand that proper communication is needed in order to have even a “break” be successful.  You will most likely hear some concerns (some might call them “complaints”), or even prayer requests (Lord, will Pastor Joe please come to the realization that he made the mistake of canceling something my kids need).  But, I think in time, everyone will see how much this little break is a blessing for the staff, a need-creator and an excellent opportunity to get creative and implement some needed change.

Again, I’d be happy to converse with anyone who would like to go deeper on this subject or seek some advice on how to make a it a great break… Facebook (search: Brian Aaby) or email me brian[at]youthmark[dot]com.

So I say, take a break! Amen?

Grace,

Brian