Category Student Ministry Stuff (SMS)

(SMS) Top 10 Reasons To Network (The Finale)

Brian Aaby Leave a comment

Do you have your elevator speech ready? You know, the speech you give when someone asks what you do?  Take 30 seconds to describe yourself are and what you do (the approximate length of time you have with another person in the elevator). This past weekend I gave that speech a number of times at the National Youth Workers Convention (NYWC). Don’t get me wrong, I love sharing the story of Youthmark, but, I long for the deeper conversations with trusted friends.

Though the national reunion at the NYWC provided some fantastic networking opportunities (and in-depth relationship) I was continually thankful for real-life being shared in my local networks! So, by way of transition (with focus being more on local) I’ll continue my TOP 10 Networking Benefits by giving you the countdown from five to one (10 to six are posted here).

Five: Shared Discipleship. We share students. Some of our students attend one church on Sunday with family and another one on Wednesday for Youth Group. Tag-teaming in discipleship through networks allows us to be on the same page with families and with individuals. We’ve been amazed at some of the discoveries we’ve made in network that have led to reconciliation of families, sexual abuse being reported and many positive spiritual advancements!

Four: Accountability. There are so many common struggles with relationships, sin, ministry issues and much more. At times of weakness I have been gently rebuked, uniquely encouraged or just spurred on in love and deed. Accountability isn’t always about being asked the “tough questions,” it’s nice to know I have a place I can safely go and make the “tough confessions.”

Three: Witness. You don’t often see a group of three to 10 folk gathering, laughing, talking and then praying. Our network gatherings have brought about a number of gospel opportunities with onlookers asking “who are you people?” In one situation we were able to follow up with an onlooker and lead him to a relationship with Jesus.

Two: Network Missions. On a few occasions our groups have gone out on mission trips together! This has been awesome especially in light of the philosophy that I believe in–Mission51! That is, I believe the mission trip is not the end-all, in fact, we ought to be training our students for the 51 weeks beyond the mission. Well, in a network context, these students who went out to Mexico, California, Costa Rica or Alaska together and served on a mission trip, are coming back to the same campus, clubs and community together for the mission at home! I’d love to see Youthmark do this with more networks!

One: Refuge and Prayer. Our network is safe. I am known in this tribe and I know that I am supported in prayer. If our group “errors” on one side, it’s that we want to love on each other and pray for one another more than anything else. This, of course, is not an error at all. We are trusting the Holy Spirit for great things in our own lives, ministries and geographical area; getting together to lift one another up is enough reason for a network to exist these other 9 (and others) are just the icing on top!

What have been some of your fun stories? What are the benefits that you’ve seen come out of your connections? Let’s see this virtual network influence the other national and local networks!

Grace,

Brian

(SMS) Top Ten Reasons To Network

Brian Aaby 1 Comment

I’ve been asked to be a regular contributor to youthworkers.net and provide some original content for their site. I’m excited about this opportunity and believe in what they’re doing. With that said, I’ll still bring that content over to this site as well… I’ll just let the content “debut” over on that site. Here it is at youthworkers.net.

But, if you didn’t click that, you can read part one of the Top Ten Reasons To Network below.

Student Ministry Leadership in many ways is a culture in and of itself. I love being a part of this unique and diverse tribe! I am a firm believer that we (Youth Leaders) are better together. In nearly 20 years of being “in charge” of a variety of ministries (church and parachurch) I have found great value and blessing in being connected to other youth leaders through gatherings of all sorts– local, national and virtual.

Though all three avenues of networking exist, the one that I value and push the most is the local network. Over the last 15 years of ministry, the local network has very much been a refuge, resource and sometimes a prime ministry outlet. If you’re reading this  and don’t feel connected, please consider linking up with others in your area…perhaps you will experience something similar to my top 10 reasons I network.

Ten: Events – I think the “knock,” or reason some have chosen to not network is that they feel networks are always trying to do something together. I have NOT found this to be the case. Our groups have rarely done “all group” events–our meetings rarely are driven by an agenda to “do” things together. However, we’ve seen lots of partnerships (two to three groups) take place as a result of like-mindedness discoveries (i.e. three groups doing an all-nighter together).

Nine: Food and Beverage – Not going to lie, I have eaten well and enjoyed some good coffee at network gatherings. Just calling a spade a spade, networking has given me a good chance to feast.

Eight: Camps and Retreats – Over the last few years I have seen some of the best camps and retreats be prayed up, planned out and delivered as a result of the collaborative efforts of folks in our networks. For instance, one network I am a part of has two different winter retreats, the more pentecostal churches all link up and the less charismatic churches do a different one- but many ideas are shared all together as the planning is done! It’s a sweet gig that leads to two gigs!

Seven: Social – Of course the meetings are somewhat social, but the gatherings have brought about deep friendships, some of these friendships have gone far beyond the ministry connection as we socialize together with spouses and families and “do life” together (including babysitting swapping)!

Six: Spiritual/Ministry Retreat – Youthmark has a retreat called “Glean” that is specifically for Youth Pastors and Spouses. These getaways truly serve as one part marital retreat, one part ministry enhancement and many parts social! Gleaning is an old testament principle of leaving 10% of your best crop for others in need to glean from. At these retreats we bring our best 10% and share ideas for ministry, marriage and life! I have been honored to lead a couple of these for my own networks!

Let’s hit the pause button for now as you digest, dream and think through how networking has or can benefit you. If you are not involved in a network, I think these first five give you enough reason to jump onboard, but if you are still not convinced, stay tuned and we will go live with the top five on Monday!

Grace,
Brian

Would This Really Happen?

Brian Aaby 2 Comments

Picture this:

After much prayer a dedicated, Jesus-loving family decided to move overseas to become missionaries with the hopes of sharing the gospel with any and all in this foreign land. They moved to their new community, invested in new furniture and prepared their living room for the folk they planned to be there. Missionary-man rented space in an office for dedicated times of prayer and study of the Word. While mom home-schooled the children, dad  commuted to the office where he studied evangelism and met with the three or four young missionaries he was brought in to train. The office space was conveniently located near the city center where thousands would gather daily to eat lunch in the city-park. 

Though their house was open for dinner every Tuesday and Thursday evenings, the three or four younger missionaries were the only ones to show up. Months passed. The missionaries grew close to one another and really began to understand the theological basis for evangelism and discipleship. Most Thursdays their prayer time was interrupted by the loud noises coming from the kids and families at the nearby “park nights” sponsored by the government. 

The Obvious Questions:

Why didn’t the missionaries eat lunch with the people gathered near the office?

Why didn’t the missionaries participate in the park-nights?

Why did they call themselves missionaries?

The Unfortunate Reality:

The above story looks/feels too much like what may be happening in the youth ministry realm. Many Youth Pastors/Leaders (and churches, to be quite honest) have gotten away from the most obvious mission field that is in our own backyard–The campus!

I published a post a couple weeks ago about the areas of ministry I believe many in student ministries have gotten away from. Just a few days later I flew to Kansas City to attend a Campus Alliance gathering of about 45 Youth Ministry leaders (presidents of youth ministry orgs/denominations) to tackle the subject of reaching the 67,000+ U.S. campuses (middle school/high school) with the gospel. This was a rich time of prayer, partnership and planning.

It will be worth nothing if we don’t do anything about it!

Part of the Solution, Not Just Naming the Problem:

Many have rallied around the books and movements that name and blame the church (and youth ministries) for our shortcomings/problems, but rather than just naming them, I want to see us take action to change the blame-game and get back on the actual field! This is what I am committed to. This is what Youthmark is committed to. Are you (and your ministry) going to commit yourself to sharing the ONE hope we have?

I am committing Youthmark to this alliance with other ministries who are committed to reaching the campuses of America with the good news of Jesus. We are committed to not just “living” it, but loving the people on these campuses enough to share (with Word and actions) about Jesus and his plan of redemption.

Politics can help us with some temporary changes in law and standards. Government may help the homeless for a short time. Humanitarian aid may give short-time sustainability to thousands in need after a disaster… but Christians should give long term, even eternal relief through the gospel. The gospel lived out brings physical, emotional and spiritual solution.

Youthmark is committed to what we call Mission51. Though we are short term mission sending organization, our heart beat is for training for the 51 weeks beyond the one-week venture. Where is Mission51?

Campus. Club. Community. Church.

Youth Leaders and organizations, the mission field is the campus! It is in our back yard. There are over 67,000+ of these centers around the country and you are the shepherd for those who can and should be the best missionaries in the United States! We should gather, we should train and we better release our missionaries (students) to this HUGE mission field. But they need to know they aren’t going alone! May they go with prayer, may they go prepared and may they go partnered!

I am honored to be a partner with Campus Alliance!

Grace,

Brian

What We’ve Gotten Away From…

Brian Aaby 6 Comments

I’ve been involved with in Youth Ministry for just about 20 years now. Though there have been many tweaks and occasional shifts away from the norm, the typical youth ministry program has included some form of  hang time, game time, worship time and teaching (“talk”) time. These four elements are about a predictable as my desire for breakfast, lunch, dinner and dessert!

Our youth ministry forefathers formed something that we’ve had a hard time re-inventing (and to be honest, may not be the primary area in need of an overhaul). I believe the real change in youth ministry doesn’t have anything to do with re-envisioning our mid-week programming, but an examination of some key things I believe youth pastors/leaders have gotten away from in the greater landscape of student ministry.

  1. We’ve Gotten Away From The Campus. Most youth pastors haven’t even attempted to get on the public (or private) school campus. I hear them say “the campus is closed” yet they haven’t once made an effort with the administration of the said “closed” campus. I am telling you, I have NEVER been turned down by the admin to be a volunteer on campus. Be smart, don’t look at your time on campus as a time to proselytize, rather as a time to serve the school, the teachers, the administration and to build relationship with anyone God brings you in contact with. Just being present (even just an hour a week) will pay large dividends and build major trust! It will bring a whole new ownership when attending games, musicals, concerts and award banquets.
  2. We’ve Gotten Away From Evangelism. A “discipleship-first” model is honestly the safe choice. Parents are quite happy that you’re providing a “safe” place for their child(ren) to participate in ministry. Service-based trips where we work with our hands building, cleaning, painting and serving meals are now called “mission trips.” I am a big proponent of service, it often creates an entry point into spiritual conversation, but I believe we’ve gotten away from sharing the gospel with our WORDS! I think youth missions can/should include evangelism opportunities because it is an extension of what we’re doing at home as well (what we call “Mission51” at Youthmark). I believe youth leaders (and parents) have allowed youth ministry to turn away from evangelism because we’re typically not involved with it in our own peer-community. It’s hard to teach what we’re not doing. What if evangelism and discipleship were not mutually exclusive? What if youth leaders, pastors and parents began to model discipleship that included evangelism first?
  3. We’ve Gotten Away From The Gospel! This may sound a lot like the last, but I believe student ministry as a whole has gotten away from sharing the gospel and settled for a “God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life”-message. The gospel is good news, in order to have good news, there must be bad news as well. This “bad news” is HORRIBLE news. Without Jesus there is no hope. No hope is hell (bad news)! Many of our programs talk about the bible, Jesus, prayer and accountability without talking about the “why” we need these things. A failure to share about the wonderful grace of God actually leads our followers down the path of works-righteousness. Students begin to “work” on the practices of faith without actually having grace-based faith.
I want to be part of a solution, not just point out what I see as some of the problems. So, I have a few suggestions for myself and other youth leaders (or pastors).
  • Start with prayer: pray for your own heart response and examine whether or or not these things are true of you and your ministry. Ask God for a peer-level harvest field for you to work in (so many youth leaders don’t even have non-Christian friends). Pray and ask for prayer. I believe your prayer will lead you to care and then your care will lead you to share!
  • Make contact today: Get up, drive to the local middle school or high school or make an appointment with the administration and simply ask the question “how can I serve this school… how can I help?” Don’t abuse the privilege to be there, keep the campus options available to other Christians by being a smart missionary if given the opportunity to serve the school. Your present on campus (or campuses) will lead you to opportunities to experience the harvest field.
  • Share the gospel in youth group! Don’t assume that even your core-students know and understand that gospel. Be clear in your presentation of the gospel. Always include the need for salvation (because of sin), Jesus’ life, death, burial and resurrection. As you share this more and more not only will it permeate your other conversations, but as more for your group place their trust in Christ, it’ll permeate their conversations outside of your group!
May your hang time, game time, worship time and message time  be an extension of everything that is taking place outside of your program! I’m ready to see us get back to some of the things we may have moved away from.
Grace,
Brian

Conferences, Connections, Churches and Chapels…

Brian Aaby 1 Comment

Like any good Pastor I am sticking with a single letter theme for this post. The last week of my life has been bombarded by Christians of every kind, here is a quick review of my Thursday to Thursday and all the different C’s I was able to experience.

Conference: I attended the National Youth Workers Convention (NYWC) by Youth Specialties in San Diego. I would guesstimate that I have been to 10 different NYWC’s in my life and this one was certainly one of the best. A few of the things that stood out to me and what made it so sweet from my perspective:

  • Lower cost: More “teams” participated because YS made it more affordable.
  • Diverse, but less “controversial” speakers: All who spoke appeared humble and weren’t looking to just push the envelope but actually deliver a message that would equip, encourage and spur on those who are working with youth.
  • Friendship: I was personally blessed by growing deeper in conversation with many across the nation that I can call “friend.” I appreciated spending time with the likes of Eric, Lars, Mark, Jeremy, Sean, Tim, Mindi, Jeff (two of them), Jim, Len, EJ, Ryan and several others that I am certainly forgetting right now.
  • Partnerships: It is really fun to dream together as to “what can be” when people with a kingdom mindset gather. I look forward to seeing how Youthmark may partner with others who are passionate about seeing lost people trust in Christ!

Connections: Alon Banks (Youthmark and National Network) and I drove north on Sunday evening to meet with Hope Partners International on Sunday Night and Monday  (all day). We are so excited about what HPI is doing and enjoyed talking through the next steps of our partnership with them. It will be amazing to see what God does as prayers are lifted, financial constraints are shattered and the harvest workers are unleashed on some impoverished areas!

I was blessed to have Elisabeth fly down to SoCal on Monday and spend Tuesday and Wednesday with her talking to Spire Resources (our publisher) about several projects! I am so proud of my wife and love partnering with her on some new endeavors!

Church: On Tuesday I was able to meet with a large church in Southern California and do a brief consult about some student ministry visioning! It was a great meeting! I firmly believe this church “gets it” and doesn’t want to entertain students, but wants to see their students equipped to reach out with the gospel!

Chapels: On Wednesday afternoon I took a quick flight over to Phoenix to speak on Thursday at Scottsdale Christian Academy. SCA is our first Christian School partnership for Youthmark. This is the second time I have spoken for this school (I spoke at a retreat with them in August). I enjoyed seeing some familiar faces and look forward to seeing Scottsdale transformed through these students and staff!

My 5th C I’d like to add is the word CRAZY. Now that I have returned, I immediately turn around and speak three times at MissionsFest Seattle this weekend and end the weekend by welcoming in the initial Adelphia Bible School Class! I’ll be speaking twice at orientation on Sunday! Great stuff, but a crazy schedule!

It is so good to be back with my family, though it was just a week (my longest trip in a long-long time) it felt like way longer! So good to love on my family! Speaking of family, I have to conclude this post, Will and I have an appointment to wrestle!

Grace,

Brian

SMS: 10 Suggestions for Christian Camps

Brian Aaby 6 Comments

Over the last several months I have spoken at about 10 different Christian Camps, couple that with many years of being a Youth Pastor and experiencing a myriad of other camps, I feel qualified to write this email on behalf of the Youth Leaders (and churches) you serve.

The reality is, most camps have many great qualities, every single one of these recent camps I have visited and almost every camp I have used in the past (church and Youthmark) certainly aspires to be Christ-honoring in what they do! Thank you for that!

This list is simply a list of some things I think camps can and should do to possibly improve your overall approach. Note: Some of these are listed because they are glaring weaknesses, whereas others are listed because I saw it done at a camp and I think all others should jump on this train):

  1. SIGNAGE! It should be obvious where a group should go the second they pull in to camp. Furthermore, I think you should have a greeter specifically assigned to meet the group leader in the parking lot and give them the arrival instruction (this means consistent communication before the trip and even in commute so they know when they’ll arrive). Every Group leader needs to know: Where do we go from here?  where is the closest bathroom ? And where is my team meeting after we get them to cabins?
  2. LANDING ZONE! I think camps should have a covered area to unload busses, vans, etc. There’s nothing worse than unloading in the rain in the dark. Your “Landing Zone” can be well lit, covered and perhaps with good signs, can be the obvious place for your greeter!
  3. LANDSCAPING. Seriously, first impressions are lasting impressions. Camps who care about their grounds communicate that they care about their clients. I understand students may “mess up” the field with their crazy games, but you can have some flower gardens, walkways and sitting areas that aren’t play areas and the beauty will speak loudly about the camp.
  4. CHEAP BUT QUIRKY CONSTANTS. This may seem weird, but your cafeteria being stocked with a cereal station, toaster w/ bread and a lunch & dinner salad bar may make a world-of-difference for your clients. Even if the prepared food isn’t to my liking a bowl of cereal or a good green salad is a welcomed alternative.
  5. NO MORE NICKLE AND DIMING! I love it when I get to a hotel and read in the bathroom that if I forgot my toothpaste the hotel will be happy to supply me with that or virtually ANY toiletry I forgot. This is not what I am advocating for the camp (though it’s a nice touch), but several times this summer I was told that the camps charged extra ($5 a night) to supply linens (sheets and towels) for the speaker. Seriously?  Help the group leader treat his/her speakers, pastors and speakers well by having some of those things as standard with the contract.
  6. WiFi.  Yes, you should have it. Yes it should be free. Leave it to the user group to police how they want to use it (perhaps even give them the option of turning off routers in meeting areas).
  7. THINNER ISN’T A WINNER! Ultra-thin toilet paper is not the best cost saving move. If you can see through it, don’t buy it. Enough said.
  8. GREEN “REFUGE” ROOM. A room for “leadership” to grab a 5-10 minute break, an ice-water or hot coffee goes a long way toward making a lasting impression. Think “cafe” feel with no/low cost. Free brewed coffee or tea is great but don’t feel it is a must, sometimes just a quiet room with a “living room” feel for a Youth leader to grab a few minutes of rest is a big deal. I have seen it where the “Green Room” had a stocked fridge and a simple “donation box” on top of the fridge-great idea!
  9. IMPRESS THE LEADER, SPEAKER AND BAND. This one can sound extremely selfish, but honestly, if you impress me as the speaker or if you impress the Group Leader we are likely going to be the ones who become your spokespeople when we leave the camp. I tell people ALL THE TIME about great coffee shops and restaurants, don’t think that it is any different when it comes to camps! Go out of your way to make sure the leader is happy, the band is taken care of and the speaker is comfortable! I was so impressed this summer when one of the camps gave my wife a Golf Cart for her and my kids to get around! Believe me we let people know about this!
  10. PRAY TOGETHER & CELEBRATE SPIRITUAL VICTORIES! I wish all of the camps I have ever used took a greater interest in the actual ministry they were helping to facilitate. I’ve gotten “we’re praying for you” messages before and after camps, but never once have I been asked “how can we pray for you this weekend?” I think a spiritual partnership and interest in the agenda and ministries planned will go a long way for future partnerships! Have your guest services person pop in to the back of the service, worship with the group from time to time or even interact with campers… partnership is impressive!
Anything you as a youth leader want to add?
Don’t hesitate to pass this on to the camps as well. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll get some more input and one day write a post from the camps perspective on 10 things they’d like guest groups to know… I can guarantee they would say something about the leftover sock that is left in each cabin!
Grace,
Brian

SMS: The Downward Spiral of Youth Leader (Part 2)

Brian Aaby 4 Comments

In two decades of being involved in Student Ministry leadership I have seen several consistent threads, one of these patterns I posted about yesterday–the downward spiral of a youth leader (read it here). The fact that the average stay of a Youth Pastor at any given church is 2-3 years merits some examination as to the contributing factors. Well, in networking with many of these Youth Pastors the story of discontentedness and frustration factors have been very consistent. I named three of these factors in my previous blog in relaying the story of “Garrett”:

  1. Taking On More Responsibilities (outside direct student ministry)
  2. Holy Huddle Ministry Focus (discipleship over evangelism)
  3. The Grass Is Greener ANYWHERE Else (not just listening to but exploring other opportunities)
The pattern has been pretty consistent and has gone in this order as well. Let me be the first to say that this isn’t a blame-game, quite often it is the immaturity of the YP and/or the inability/immaturity of others in leadership to even recognize where limits should be placed so that this ball never gets rolling. My hope is to help identify these things at the earliest stage (even before someone takes a call) so that we see longevity as something that can actually be accomplished.
So, here’s what I suggest to counter the pattern:

1. Stay “Student-Ministry-ONLY” Focussed As Long As Possible! Though “your voice” may be wanted in a variety of ministry settings and though the influence is tempting, it RARELY leads to anything other than frustration because you become less effective in your primary calling and more divided in responsibility (and I’m yet to see it lead to a significant pay increase for any Youth Pastor).

2. Keep Evangelism As a Personal Commitment and It Will Overflow: If you are committed to reaching out to your peers with the gospel, it will overflow to your ministry and your students no-matter-what. Even if most of your gatherings are “holy huddles” students will eventually see you doing evangelism and it will begin to rub-off  on them in and through your stories. (NOTE: I wish I would have done a WAY better job of this while a Youth Pastor, the last 3 years have rocked my world and I love it!)

3. Consider Your Calling: The grass will often seem greener at ANY other position. Upon further examination, it may just be the weeds or moss that is green. All positions will carry frustrations, hurts and hard times. Be very thoughtful in considering if it is time to move on.

We all understand that God moves people, but I can’t help but think of what it looks like to see a youth leader faithfully pour into a group of students for three, five or even seven years; the fruit of his/her ministry often lasts for years and years to come. Maybe a single-focus (student ministry), with an emphasis on reaching out (personally and corporately) will lead to less discontentedness and looking on the other side of the fence!

I thank God for you, Youth Leader! Thanks for pouring in to the teens and may you be able to experience much fruit in your current situation!

Grace,
Brian

SMS: The Downward Spiral of a Youth Leader (Part 1)

Brian Aaby 2 Comments

“Garrett” arrived to his first Youth Pastor network meeting with the youth pastor look! You know, young-but-confident (cocky?), backpack-in-tow, as much facial hair as his 22 year old body could produce and a tight-fit stocking cap. He was quick to speak and let us know that he knew exactly what he was doing. He had an answer to EVERY question and his energy level led me to believe that he’d already had a second (or fifth) cup of coffee before he arrived at the 10:00 am gathering.

I love Garrett. And our network loved Garrett because we all looked past the Garrett he was trying to be and with/by grace we knew the Garrett he’d become. Most of us had been Garrett.

Like the others in that Youth Pastor Network, Garrett loved the teens at his church. His love for them grew and he was able to see the initial skepticism about him change to a genuine love for one another. As Garrett began to listen to wise counsel he looked to move from a one-man show to a team of 3-4 adult leaders who would faithfully pour into the youth. Garrett was “getting it” as a Youth Pastor and it showed as our conversations deepened at network and other social situations.

But then, after about a year, the downward spiral began…

I see this spiral way too often and there are typically three things that mark this downward trend. I write this to hopefully help the younger generation of Youth Leaders identify these potential game-changers.

These three things were true of Garrett, are they true of you?

1. Garrett Began To Expand His Ministry Role:  Because Garrett’s gifts and talents were obvious to many, he was asked to step into other areas of ministry outside of Youth Ministry. The once-in-a-while worship leading became twice-in-a-while pretty quickly. Many were concerned about what was happening to the high school grads and because Garrett had a heart for these young adults a Monday night Bible Study was formed for the students who were sticking around. Since his influence had grown the Senior Pastor asked him to take part in the board meetings so that Garrrett could represent those voices he was shepherding. The young couples at the church were anxious to get something going so Garrett and his bride took on the leadership role for the “Young Married’s.” Garrett’s twice-a-week evening commitments had become at least four nights a week, if not five (depending on the board meeting nights) or six (college, young married group, etc.).

It felt good to be wanted/needed and Garrett began to think that an expanded role will please the elders and they’d give him the pay raise he deserved (hold back your laughter please… he was young).

2. Discipleship Replaced Evangelism: First let me note that I don’t think that these two should be separated, but quite often in youth ministries (or churches) they are… Okay, back to Garrett. Youth Group Night was the time that students were encouraged to bring their unchurched friends, Garrett put a big emphasis on sharing the gospel at this gathering! Sunday mornings were “growing deeper” times as were the small group times (commonly known as “discipleship”). However, about 18 months into his time at this church he noticed more and more complaints about Wednesday night being “too basic” and “always the same message.” Students began to not show up and numbers began to drop. Parents began to voice their concerns to the board and to the Senior Pastor that students weren’t having as much fun as they used to. Therefore, Garrett changed his messages to being more “discipleship” in nature, most of the core returned.

The numbers improved (which often translates to “job security”), but he was preaching three “growth” level messages a week and there was no influence on lost souls. Evangelism “events” were often just another gathering of the core-students. Garrett’s personal evangelism didn’t exist though either…

3. Garrett Was Asked About A Different Position: Because Garrett had a vibrant personality he was a natural “upfront” guy. In fact, in multiple church group settings (camps/retreats)  he was often the guy asked to lead the game or lead worship. His network was growing and after two and a half years on the job the 24 year-old was asked to apply for a position at an out-of-state church. The raise had still not come in his current situation. His frustration of being out at least four nights a week had gone unnoticed and his perception that his job was being judged just by the number of complaints or non-complaints Garrett felt the freedom to sneak a peak at not just that opening, but ALL openings. The grass sure looked greener EVERYWHERE. Hiding the search from all others (including the network), he grew more and more excited about the other opportunities and found it almost impossible to put his best foot forward here. By the time we knew about the majority of his struggles and his search he had already said “yes” to the move.

Unfortunately Garrett’s story is very common. In many ways it has been my story at times. This is not to say that Garrett was wrong to leave, I’m not looking at placing blame, I hope that I can simply help some Youth Leaders identify some of the patterns that cause discontentedness. So the question arrises, what can be done to counter this?

Tune in tomorrow for part two!

Grace,
Brian

Refuge, Resource and More… Get Networked!

Brian Aaby Leave a comment

Back in 1995 a postcard awaited me as I began unpacking my boxes for my brand-new Youth Pastor position at Melrose Community Church. The postcard was a simple invite to the Youth Pastor Network meeting Tuesday morning at Mom’s Cafe.

I had barely even met the people in my church let alone anyone else in this town, but I decided to risk and go–if nothing else, I figured the bacon and eggs would be worth it. I walked into the upper floor of the cafe and immediately heard the distinct sound of group laughter down the stairs. “This must be the youth pastors” I thought to myself. The 90 minute gathering felt much more like family than a meeting. At the conclusion of our time, Kirk, one of the guys in attendance handed me his business card and said, “call me anytime in the next week and this card is good for a free lunch.”

I remember saying,”yeah, I’ll check my schedule and see if I can make that happen.” Internally I was rejoicing and thinking, “I have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING going on, but I’ll wait at least two days to call…”

Today, Kirk is one of my good friends (and actually works with me at Youthmark). His simple invite was an invitation that has led me to a life-long commitment. A commitment that says that we are better together.

You may not feel you need a Network. In fact, many of you may have a great circle of support already. However, you may be the perfect “Kirk” for a Youth Leader in need. Or perhaps you’re the “Brian” of yesteryear and really do need to have someone surrounding and supporting you.

I have the privilege of being involved in several network circles and two local networks that I coordinate. Though no longer a Youth Pastor, I am heavily involved in Student Ministries. I am excited to serve alongside these great brothers and sisters. The younger among us teach us much about current youth culture, whereas the older among us offer up our mistakes as things to avoid as well or our triumphs as things that may be worthy of repeating.

The National Network of Youth Ministries has existed for many years and is committed to better-networking Youth Leaders with one another. They too believe that we are better together! In order to better understand what is and what is not happening in the world of the youth leader and networks they have put together a survey they’d like all youth leaders to complete. I’d love to help them get the information they need. I just took the survey and it took me eight minutes. Would you support the network in a similar way? Here is the survey!

I hope you’re involved with a network, it truly is a resource, refuge and much more. Know that you have gifts to give and gifts to receive from others! If you have questions about a local network, don’t hesitate to contact me and ask, I can probably point you in the right direction.

Grace,
Brian

An Open Letter to Church Members/Pastors

Brian Aaby 1 Comment

Overheard at  any church this week: “I’ll pray for you.”

Praying for others is awesome…

But what if?

What if more often we changed the word for to with?

My friend Timothy Eldred, President of Christian Endeavor is spearheading an effort (pray with youth) that I believe can change the very makeup of YOUR church. I encourage you to continue to pray for the youth, but what if we had many actually pray with youth?

Please take the time to read-up on this movement because there are so many additional components that can/should be explored and included as to how you and your church incorporate praying with youth. However, the movement launch date is coming up next week, September 11, 2011. I suggest you talk to your Pastor, Youth Pastor, Worship Leader, or whomever you need to make something simple but significant happen!

This simple and significant cause is to get an adult to commit to praying with a youth (students approximately 12-20 years old). Though many will commit to praying for the youth, what would it look like to have the seasoned saints in your congregation praying with the youth.

In your church services on 9.11 invite any/all teens who are in attendance to come to the platform (or just stand where they are if you want to honor the shy ones). Start by praying for this group of teens.  Thank God for them, plead with God to use them as missionaries on their campuses, in their clubs, within the community and even at your church.

Now, do something even more bold…

Explain that praying for the students is great and needed, but let the adults know that we want to move from just praying for to praying with them!

Invite any adult (or several) who would like to commit to partnering in prayer with one of these standing to go and stand by them, speak with them and pray with them (perhaps have a worship song led for all others?)

It’s small, but five minutes set aside for partnering in prayer can lead to something that becomes very significant. Ultimately I believe you should do the entire Pray21 program (which partners adults with youth for the purpose of prayer for 21 days… please note that they’ve thought through all the liability issues, please follow their lead).

I believe that the youth can and should be the best missionaries we have in the United States (and beyond). But they need not just our prayers, they need our partnership. Praying with them will lead to greater intimacy in the church. Students will sense their significance and the church (the one body) will unify. I firmly believe we’ll see more and more students stay in our churches and we’ll see a significant missional movement in the lives of our students. Such a movement that we’ll actually see the hearts of our adults melt and our congregation members will become missional as the youth are unleashed to do ministry!

At Youthmark we’re committed to Mission51, the 51 weeks beyond a mission week, a retreat or even a pray with youth Sunday! I believe this Pray With Youth movement will FUEL mission51!

Will you take this to your people?

Grace,
Brian