For those who enjoyed my little rant against Bob a few days back, I have an update…

No Pete!

Our bedtime routine got a little more interesting last night as Audrey joined the “my future” game and  the two of them put me to sleep and woke me up every 2-4 years to give me updates on their lives.

As you may remember, Halle married Bob, well, it turns out that Audrey marries a character named Pete (when she was 28).

So here were the highlights from the two of them:

• Audrey too lives with her in-law, Pete’s parents (like Bob’s) apparently are rich as well (side note: interesting how early our culture ingrains the idea of “rich/poor” into our kids).  Pete is some sort of Pastor as well.  He preaches Sundays, works for Starbucks on Monday, has days off on Tuesday and Thursday, Wednesday Audrey doesn’t remember what Pete does (I’ll have to hire a private eye), Friday he sells cherries too and on Saturday he sells Plastic Paper.
• Both Halle and Audrey have twins, oh, a few years later Will and his wife do too (side note:  we have never had twins in either of our families, so this was a pretty cool feat to have all three of our kids have sets of twins).
• Audrey’s new last name is Gibson.
• Halle’s new last name is Roberts.  So this means that she married Bob Roberts, aka “Robert Roberts” (side note:  What were Bob’s rich parents thinking naming him Robert?).

My newest website: http://www.ihatebobandpete.com

Tonight we go back to reading stories that have already been written rather than making up these nightmares!  Ha!

Grace,
Brian

Stay away "Bob"

We have developed quite a few different games and activities for bed time.  One of these little games we like to play involves me acting like I am asleep and Halle waking me and telling me about her life.  Each time she “puts me to sleep” and “wakes me up” it is about 5 years in the future.  So Sunday night the dialogue went a little like this:

Age 22:  “Daddy, I’m 22, you’ve been sleeping for 15 years.  I am in love with Bob and we’re going to get married.”

Me: “No way, Bob hasn’t spoken to me yet, he was supposed to talk to me before he even asked you out on a date, let alone get married… what does Bob do for a job?  Where are you going to live?”

Halle: “Bob’s parents are Rich, we’ll live with them (then she taps my nose, which “puts me to sleep”).”

Age 30: “Daddy, it’s 8 years later, Bob and I are married, I’m pregnant too, with a girl, we’ll name her either Grace or Julia”

Me: “Wow, I missed your wedding!  Where are you living? What does Bob do?”

Halle: “Bob’s parents are rich, we live with them.”

Me: “How did Bob’s parents get so rich?”

Halle (THIS IS WHERE I LOVE THE MIND OF A 7 YEAR OLD): “Bob tells me that his Dad has a lot of jobs, he preaches at his church on Sunday, then on Monday he helps out at Target, on Tuesday he has his own cherry stand and sells cherries, Wednesday is his day off, Thursday he preaches at night to a small group at the church, Friday he plays the guitar at the school and Saturday is his other day off.”

The story went on (until she was 35), but I was amazed that Bob’s Dad could get rich doing what he did.  I think I must have been working at the wrong churches and certainly shouldn’t have done Youthmark, cherries would have been the better option!

Last, the very idea of Bob makes me weary.

Grace,
Brian